17 You Know That

There was a pet store and the owner had a parrot.In walked a couple and the parrot said to the man，"Hey you！"The man said，"WHAT！？"The parrot said，"Your wife is fat and ugly."The man got totally upset and huffed and went to the pet storeowner and said，"Your bird just insulted my wife.It said she was fat and ugly."

The owner stormed over，grabbed the bird，took him in the"black room"，shook him a bit，pulled out a few feathers，got in his face and said，"Don’t you ever，ever say anything to embarrass any of my customers again.You got that！！！".

With that warning he took the bird and put him back on his perch.The old bird shook out his feathers and relaxed on his perch.A couple of weeks passed and in walked this guy and his wife again.The parrot said，"Hey you！"The guy said，"WHAT！？"The parrot answered，"You know that."

你知道我要說什么

寵物店老板有一只鸚鵡。這一天，店里來了一對夫婦。鸚鵡對丈夫說：“嗨，老兄。”丈夫問：“什么？”鸚鵡說：“你老婆又肥又丑。”丈夫非常生氣，怒氣沖沖地找到寵物店老板：“你的鸚鵡剛才侮辱我妻子，它說我妻子又肥又丑。”

老板氣呼呼地跑過去，一把抓起鸚鵡，將它帶到“小黑屋”，使勁地搖晃它，還拔掉了鸚鵡身上的幾根毛，惡狠狠地對它說：“不許你再對我的顧客說侮辱性的話。聽明白了！”

警告過鸚鵡后，寵物店老板將鸚鵡放回到棲息木上，那只老鸚鵡抖抖身上的羽毛，趴下休息了。幾周后，那對夫婦又來到寵物店里，鸚鵡對丈夫說：“嗨，老兄。”男的問：“什么？”鸚鵡回答道：“你知道我想說什么。”

18 Cat and Mouse

A mouse used to live in a winer，and he would climb up on the rim of a vat and run around and around the edge.One day he finally slipped and fell into the vat full of wine.He couldn’t get on again，so he swam around in the wine and shouted，"Help！Help！"

A cat heard the mouse’s cries for help，climbed up onto the rim and sat looking down at him.The mouse cried，"Please，Mr.Cat，help me！I’m drowning！"

The cat said，"Well，if I save you，what do I get？"

The mouse said，"Anything！Help me！"

The cat said，"Well，if I save you，can I eat you？"

The mouse said，"Yes！Yes！Anything you want！"So the cat reached down with his paw and hooked the mouse back up to safety.The mouse immediately shook himself dry and then darted back into his hole.

The cat said，"Mr.Mouse，you’re not keeping your word！You said I could eat you！"

The mouse said，"Well，Mr.Cat，what do you expect？I was drunk at the time！"

貓和老鼠

一只老鼠曾經住在釀酒廠，他能沿著桶的邊緣爬上釀酒的大桶，然后在邊緣上跑來跑去。有一天他的腳滑了一下，掉進了盛滿酒的大桶里。他爬不出來，只能在酒里游來游去，大喊：“救命，救命！”

一只貓聽見了老鼠救命的呼喊聲，爬上了邊緣，坐下來看著它。老鼠哭喊著懇求到：“拜托您了，貓先生，救救我，我要淹死了！”

貓說：“如果我救了你，我能得到什么呢？”

老鼠說：“什么都行，救救我！”

貓說：“那么，如果我救了你，我能吃掉你嗎？”

老鼠說：“可以！可以！你想做什么都行！”貓就把爪子伸了進去，讓老鼠重新回到了安全地帶。老鼠立馬晃了晃身子把自己甩干，然后飛奔回了自己的洞。

貓說：“老鼠先生，你沒有遵守諾言！你說我可以吃掉你的！”

老鼠說：“是這樣的，貓先生，你怎么能對那個抱有期待呢？我當時喝醉了啊！”

19 Who Is It

A lady was expecting the plumber，and he was supposed to come at ten o’clock.

Ten o’clock came and went，no plumber.Eleven o’clock，twelve o’clock，one o’clock，no plumber.

She concluded he wasn’t coming，and went out to do some shopping.While she was out，the plumber arrived.

He knocked on the door，and the lady’s parrot said，"Who is it？"He replied，"It’s the plumber."

He thought it was the lady who’d said，"Who is it？"and waited for her to come and let him in.

When this didn’t happen he knocked again，and again the parrot said，"Who is it？"He said，"It’s the plumber！"