“你是怎樣做的呢？”第二個牧師驚喜地問道。

“我只是給它們洗禮了一下，讓它們堅定了信念。”他回答說，“從那以后，我再也沒見過它們。”

11 Elephant VS Ants Soccer Game

It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle，so the elephants decided to challenge the ants to a game of soccer.

The game was going well with the elephants beating the ants，when the ants gained possession.

The ants’star player was dribbling the ball towards the elephants’goal when the elephants’left back came lumbering towards him.The elephant trod on the little ant，killing him instantly.

The referee stopped the game."What the hell do you think you’re doing？Do you call that sportsmanship，killing another player？"

The elephant replied，"Well，I didn’t mean to kill him-I was just trying to trip him up."

大象對螞蟻的足球賽

在一個周日下午的叢林里，大象覺得無聊，于是提出跟螞蟻比賽踢足球。

比賽順利進行，大象隊贏球，此時，螞蟻隊控球。

螞蟻隊的球星正在運球，準備將球踢進大象隊的球門，大象隊的左后衛邁著笨重的步伐向螞蟻跑來，只見大象一腳踩在小螞蟻上，一下就把他給踩死了。

裁判終止了比賽。“你在做什么？你認為殺死對手符合比賽精神嗎？”

大象回答：“嗯，我不是要殺死他，我只是想把他絆倒。”

12 Ambitious Dog Mother

A guy walks into bar a small dog.The bartender said，"Get out of here with that dog！"

"But this isn’t just a dog-this dog can play the piano！"The bartender replies，"Well，if it can play that piano，you both can stay and have a drink on the house！"So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool，and the dog starts playing.Ragtime，Mozart...and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.

Suddenly a bigger dog runs in，grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck，and drags him out.The bartender asks the guy，"What was that all about？"

The guy replies，"Oh，that was its mother.She wanted him to be a doctor."

望子成龍的狗媽媽

一個人帶著一只小狗進了酒吧。酒吧招待說：“狗不能進來，你們快出去！”

這個人說：“這只狗可不是一般的狗啊，它會彈鋼琴。”

招待回答說：“好吧，它要真能彈鋼琴，你們就可以留下，酒水還可以免費。”于是這個人就把小狗放到了鋼琴凳上，狗就開始演奏了。它彈了拉格泰姆和莫扎特等人的曲子，酒吧招待和顧客們都很喜歡。

這時，突然跑進來一直大狗，咬住小狗的脖子，把它拖了出去。酒吧招待問那個人：“這是怎么回事啊？”

那人回答說：“哦，那是它媽媽，她想讓兒子成為一名醫生而不是鋼琴家。”

13 I Am Called the Blister

In the animal court，lion judge is examining three ducks.

The lion asked the first one，"What name are you called？""Flower."

The lion asked，"Why are you taken here？""I hit the blister to have a fun while swimming."

The lion judge thought that there was nothing wrong with that behavior，so he asked the first duck to leave.

The lion asked the second，"What name are you called？""I am called mao."

The lion asked，"Why are you taken here？""I hit the blister to have a fun while swimming."

The lion also asked it to leave.

The lion asked the third black and blue duck，"What name are you called？"

The duck said，"I am called the blister."

我叫水泡

在動物法院里，獅子法官正在審三只鴨子。

獅子問第一只：“你叫什么名字啊？”“花。”

獅子問：“你為什么被帶到這里來啊？”“我在游泳時打水泡玩。”

獅子法官認為這并沒有什么錯，就讓它走了。

獅子又問第二只：“你叫什么名字啊？”“毛。”

獅子問：“你為什么被帶到這里來啊？”“我在游泳時打水泡玩。”

獅子也讓它走了。

獅子又問第三只鼻青臉腫的鴨子：“你叫什么名字啊？”

鴨子說：“我叫水泡。”

14 The Story of the Bats

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night，thirsty for blood.One says，"Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood."

"We’re new here."says the second one，"It’s dark out，and we don’t know where to look.We’d better wait until the other bats go with us."

The first bat replies，"Who needs them？I can find some blood somewhere."He flies out of the cave.

When he returns，he is covered with blood.

The second bat says excitedly，"Where did you get the blood？"

The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave.Pointing into the night，he asks，"See that black building over there？"

"Yes."the other bat answers.

"Well，"says the first bat，"I didn’t."

蝙蝠的故事

兩只吸血蝙蝠在午夜醒來，非常想喝血。一個說：“我們飛到洞外找點兒血來喝吧。”

“我們對這兒還不熟，”另一個說，“現在外面很黑，我們不知道去哪兒找。等別的蝙蝠陪我們去比較好。”

第一只蝙蝠回答道：“誰需要他們？我一定能在某個地方找到血。”他飛出洞外。

當他回來的時候，全身是血。

第二只蝙蝠激動地說：“你在哪兒找到的血？”

第一只蝙蝠帶著他的伙伴來到洞口，指著黑夜問：“看見那邊那座黑色的建筑了嗎？”

“看到了。”另一只蝙蝠回答。

“嗯，”第一只說，“我沒看到。”

15 A Fine Match

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor.She was very afraid of mouse，so she ran out of the house，got into a bus and went to the shops.There she bought a mousetrap.The shopkeeper said to her，"Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."

The lady went home with her mousetrap，but when she looked in her cupboard，she could not find any cheese in it.She did not want to go back to the shop，because it was very late，so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

Surprisingly，the picture of the cheese was quite successful！When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning，she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese！

勢均力敵

有一天，一位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她沖出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一只老鼠夾。店主告訴她：“放點奶酪在里面，很快你就會逮住那只老鼠的。”

這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家里，但她沒有在碗櫥里找到奶酪。她不想再跑一趟商店，因為已經很晚了。于是，她就從一份雜志中剪下一幅奶酪的圖片放進了夾子。

令人稱奇的是，這畫有奶酪的圖片竟然奏效了！第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發現鼠夾里奶酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片！

16 A Duck in a Convenience Store

This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk，"Do you have any grapes？"The clerk says no，and the duck leaves.

The next day，the duck returns and asks，"Do you have any grapes？"

The clerk again says no and the duck leaves.

The day after that，the duck walks in the store again and asks，"Do you have any grapes？"The clerk screams at the duck，"You’ve come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes.I told you every time that we don’t have any grapes！I swear if you come back in here again and ask for grapes，I’ll nail your webbed feet to the floor！！"

The duck left，and returned the next day.This time he asked，"Do you have any nails？"The clerk replied，"No."

And the duck said，"Good！Got any grapes？"

便利店里的鴨子

鴨子走進一家便利店并問店員：“你們有葡萄嗎？”店員說沒有，于是鴨子離開了。

第二天，這只鴨子又來了，問：“你們有葡萄嗎？”店員再次說沒有，于是這只鴨子走了。

第三天，鴨子再一次走進這家店，問：“你們有葡萄嗎？”店員對鴨子尖叫道：“你前兩天已經來過這里問我們有沒有葡萄，我每次都告訴你說我們沒有葡萄！我發誓如果你再來這兒問有沒有葡萄，我一定把你的腳釘在地板上！！”

鴨子離開了，可是第二天他又來了。這次他問：“你們有釘子嗎？”店員回答：“沒有。”

于是鴨子說：“好！有葡萄嗎？”