第5章　如何讓別人對你感興趣

每一個拜訪過西奧多·羅斯福總統的人，都會對他那淵博的知識感到驚訝。不論是牧童還是騎士，或紐約的政客和外交家，羅斯福都知道該和他說些什么。那么，羅斯福又是如何做的呢？答案很簡單——不論羅斯福要見什么人，他總是會在頭天晚上晚些入睡，翻閱一些來訪者會特別感興趣的知識。

因為羅斯福和所有領袖人物一樣，深知通達對方內心的妙方，就是和對方談論他最感興趣的事情。

散文家、耶魯大學文學教授菲爾普斯先生是個非常和藹的人，他在早年就學到了這個道理。

“我8歲那年，有一次去姑姑林斯莉家過周末，”菲利普在他一篇談論人性的小品文中這樣寫道，“有一天晚上，一位中年人來訪。在和姑姑隨便聊了幾句之后，他就把注意力轉移到了我身上。當時我對船的興趣正濃，而這位客人和我談論了這方面的知識，令我產生了特殊的興趣。他離開之后，我還對他贊賞不已。多么了不起啊！姑姑告訴我，他是紐約的一位律師，本來他對有關船的事情是不應該如此熱心的，甚至應該是毫無興趣可言的。‘可是，他為什么自始至終

“‘Because he is a gentleman. He saw you were interested in boats, and he talked about the things he knew would interest and please you. He made himself agreeable.'”

And William Lyon Phelps added, “I never forgot my aunt's remark.”

As I write this chapter, I have before me a letter from Edward L. Chalif, who was active in Boy Scout work.

“One day I found I needed a favor,” wrote Mr. Chalif.“A big Scout jamboree was coming off in Europe, and I wanted the president of one of the largest corporations in America to pay the expenses of one of my boys for the trip. Fortunately, just before I went to see this man, I heard that he had drawn a check for a million dollars, and that after it was canceled, he had had it framed. So the first thing I did when I entered his office was to ask to see the check. A check for a million dollars! I told him I never knew that anybody had ever written such a check, and that I wanted to tell my boys that I had actually seen a check for a million dollars. He gladly showed it to me; I admired it and asked him to tell me all about how it happened to be drawn.”

You notice, don't you, that Mr. Chalif didn't begin by talking about the Buy Scouts, or the jamboree in Europe, or what it was he wanted? He talked in terms of what interested the other man.Here's the result:

“Presently, the man I was interviewing said，‘Oh, by the way, what was it you wanted to see me about?'So I told him.

“To my vast surprise,” Mr. Chalif continues, “he not only granted immediately what I asked for, but much more. I had asked him to send only one boy to Europe, but he sent

都在談論有關船的問題呢？’

“‘因為他是一位紳士。他見你對船很感興趣，就談論他認為能使你注意并高興的話題。這使得他成為一個受歡迎的人。’”

菲爾普斯教授又補充說：“我永遠也忘不了我姑姑的話。”

就在我寫這章的時候，我面前放著一封查立夫先生的來信，他是一位熱心于童子軍事業的人。

“一天，我感到我需要幫助。”查立夫先生寫道，“歐洲將舉辦童子軍夏令營活動，我想邀請美國某家大公司的經理贊助一位童子軍的旅行。幸運的是，在拜訪他之前，我聽說他曾開出了一張100萬美元的支票。這張支票退回來后，他把它放在了鏡框中。所以我進他辦公室的第一件事就是請他給我展示那張支票。我告訴他，我這輩子從來都沒有聽說有人開過數額如此巨大的支票。我還要告訴我的童子軍，說我的確看到過一張100萬美元的支票。他愉快地把那張支票給我看。我贊嘆不已，并請他把開這張支票的詳細情況告訴我。”

請注意，查立夫先生在剛開始時并沒有談有關童子軍或歐洲夏令營的事，也沒有談他想要對方幫助的事。他只是談對方感興趣的話題。下面就是結果：

“過了一會兒，我拜訪的那位經理問我：‘哦，請問你來找我有什么事？’我就把我的事情告訴了他。

“令我吃驚的是，他不但立即答應了我的請求，還給了我更多的資助。我本

five boys and myself, gave me a letter of credit for a thousand dollars and told us to stay in Europe for seven weeks. He also gave me letters of introduction to his branch presidents, putting them at our service, and he himself met us in Paris and showed us the town. Since then, he has given jobs to some of the boys whose parents were in want, and he is still active in our group.

“Yet I know if I hadn't found out what he was interested in, and got him warmed up first, I wouldn't have found him one-tenth as easy to approach.”

Is this a valuable technique to use in business? Is it? Let's see. Take Henry G.Duvernoy of Duvernoy and Sons, a wholesale baking firm in New York.

Mr. Duvernoy had been trying to sell bread to a certain New York hotel. He had called on the manager every week for four years. He went to the same social affairs the manager attended. He even took rooms in the hotel and lived there in order to get the business. But he failed.

“Then,” said Mr. Duvernoy, “after studying human relations, I resolved to change my tactics. I decided to find out what interested this man—what caught his enthusiasm.

“I discovered he belonged to a society of hotel executives called the Hotel Greeters of America. He not only belonged, but his bubbling enthusiasm had made him president of the organization, and president of the International Greeters. No matter where its conventions were held, he would be there.

“So when I saw him the next day, I began talking about the Greeters. What a response I got. What a response! He talked to me for half an hour about the Greeters, his tones

來只請他贊助一名童子軍去歐洲，可是他資助了5名童子軍和我本人，給我開了一張1000美元的支票，并建議我們在歐洲玩上7個星期。然后，他又給我一封介紹信，把我引薦給他在歐洲分公司的經理，請他們到時候幫助我們，他又親自去巴黎接我們，帶領我們游覽了這座城市。從此以后，他就經常為家庭貧困的童子軍提供工作的機會，對我們童子軍事業非常熱心。

“但是我也很清楚，如果我當時沒有找到他感興趣的話題，讓他高興起來，那么我大概連十分之一的機會都沒有。”

這種方法在商業活動中也有價值吧？我們就舉個例子，來看看紐約一家高級面包公司——杜弗諾公司的經理杜弗諾先生是怎樣做的吧：

杜弗諾先生一直想把面包推銷給紐約某家大飯店。連續4年，杜弗諾先生幾乎每個星期都要去拜訪這家飯店的經理，并且經常參加這位經理出席的各種社交聚會。為了促成這筆生意，他甚至在這家飯店租了一個房間住在那里。但是他仍未做成生意。

“后來，”杜弗諾先生說，“我研究了人際關系，決定改變策略。我決定找到這個人的興趣所在，找出他最熱衷的事業。

“我發現他是美國飯店業協會的會員。不僅如此，由于他在這方面的濃厚興趣，使他被推舉為這個組織的主席。每次只要開會或舉行什么活動，他都會參加。

“于是，當我再次去拜訪他的時候，我開始和他談論飯店業協會的事情。你

vibrant with enthusiasm. I could plainly see that this society was not only his hobby, it was the passion of his life. Before I left his office, he had‘sold’me a membership in his organization.

“In the meantime, I had said nothing about bread. But a few days later, the steward of his hotel phoned me to come over with samples and prices.

“‘I don't know what you did to the old boy，'the steward greeted me，‘but he sure is sold on you!'

“Think of it! I had been drumming at that man for four years—trying to get his business—and I'd still be drumming at him if I hadn't finally taken the trouble to find out what he was interested in, and what he enjoyed talking about.”

Talking in terms of the other person's interests pays off for both parties. Howard Z.Herzig, a leader in the field of employee communications, has always followed this principle. When asked what reward he got from it, Mr.Herzig responded that he not only received a different reward from each person but that in general the reward had been an enlargement of his life each time he spoke to someone.

Principle 5：Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

猜他怎么了？他的反應簡直令人吃驚！他和我談了半小時飯店業協會的事情，而且精神飽滿，充滿熱情。我可以明確看出他不僅對飯店業協會的事情感興趣，而且將自己的全部精力都投入在這上面。就在我離開他的辦公室之前，他勸我加入了這個協會。

“在這次會談中，我沒有提有關面包的半個字。可是沒過幾天，我就接到他飯店主管人員的電話，讓我把面包的貨樣和報價單送過去。

“‘我真不知道你對這老先生用了什么魔法，’這位主管人員對我說，‘他可是真的被你打動了！’

“試想一下！我和這位經理打了4年交道，一心想把面包賣給他。如果不是設法找到他感興趣的事，了解他愿意討論的問題，恐怕我現在還一無所獲！”

談論別人感興趣的話題，雙方都不會有損失。霍華德·赫齊茲是雇員通訊領域的領袖，他曾奉行著這項法則。當被問到從中有何受益時，他說他不僅從不同的人那里獲益，而且每次與人談話時，這種獲益從整體上豐富了他的生活。

第五項規則：談論別人感興趣的話題。