As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday，the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.So，in a whisper，he asked the congregation，"All who want to go to heaven，please rise."Everyone got up except the snorer.After whispering"Be seated"，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，"All those who want to be with the devil，please rise."

Awaking with a start，the sleepy head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit，"Well，sir，"he said，"I don’t know what we’re voting on，but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

瞌睡者

牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。

一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時睡覺。于是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧?！彼械娜硕颊玖似饋?-當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過“請坐”后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來！”

打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣地看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什么，但看上去只有你和我想去?！?

23 Room

John Rockefeller was a well‐known millionaire in the United States.Although Rockefeller gave away millions，he was very mean to himself.

One day he went to stay at hotel in New York and asked for the cheapest room they had.He asked，"What is the price of the room？"The manager told him.

"And which floor is it on？"Again the manager told him.

Is that the lowest‐priced room you have？I am staying here by myself and only need a small room."

The manager said，"That room is the smallest and cheapest we have."and added，"But why do you choose poor room like that？When your son stays here he always has our most expensive room；yours is our cheapest."

"Yes，"said Rockefeller，"but his father is a wealthy man，mine isn’t."

房間

約翰·洛克菲勒是美國有名的百萬富翁。雖然洛克菲勒捐贈了數百萬美元，但他對自己非常吝嗇。有一天，他下榻紐約一家旅館，要求住在最便宜的房間。他問：“這個房間費用是多少？”經理告訴了他。

“在哪一層樓上？”經理又告訴了他。

“這是你們最便宜的房間嗎？我一個人住，只需要一個小房間?！?

經理說：“那個房間是我們這里最小、最便宜的?！苯又盅a充道，“可你為什么要選這么寒磣的房間呢？你的兒子每次來這兒總是住最貴的房間，而你選的是最便宜的。”

“是的，”洛克菲勒說，“他的父親是個有錢人，我的父親不是?！?

24 I Am Not Stupid

Caleb wanted to buy some new clothes，so he went to a shop.First he asked for a pair of trousers and put them on，but then he took them off and gave them back to the shopkeeper and said，"No，give me a coat instead of these."

The man gave him a coat，and said，"This one costs the same as the trousers，"Caleb took the coat and walked out of the shop with it.The shopkeeper ran after him and said，"You have not paid for that coat！"

"But I gave you the trousers for the coat."said Caleb，"They cost the same as the coat，didn’t they？"

"Yes，"said the shopkeeper，"but you didn’t pay for the trousers either！"

"Of course I didn’t！"answered Caleb，"I did not take them.I am not stupid！Nobody gives things back and then pays for them！"

我又不傻

迦勒想買些新衣服，于是就去了一家商店。他先要了條褲子試穿，可是又把它脫下來，還給店主，說道：“不要這個，給我換一件外套?！?

店主給了他一件外套，說：“這件外套跟褲子是一個價。”迦勒拿著外套就走出商店。店主追上去說：“你還沒給錢呢！”

“但我用褲子換外套了呀，”迦勒說，“褲子跟外套一個價，不是嗎？”

“是的，”店主說，“可你也沒給褲子的錢啊！”

“我當然沒給！”迦勒回答，“我沒買褲子啊。我又不傻！沒人退了貨還付錢的！”

25 One Way Street Wilson

Wilson’s dogmatic attitude was notorious.He refused to listen to others or alter his opinion.Walter Hines Page，the ambassador to England came to the White House to report to the President the opinions of the British on American foreign policy.Repeatedly，Wilson told him to stop，but Page kept on going.Wilson put fingers into his ears and ran out of the room.

When Wilson was the governor of New Jersey，a senator of his home State who was a close friend of his，died suddenly and he had to appoint someone to replace him.An overanxious politician called and said，"I would like to take the senator’s place."Wilson was extremely annoyed and said sharply，"That will be perfectly agreeable to me，if it is agreeable to the undertaker."

我行我素的威爾遜

威爾遜固執的性格眾人皆知，他從不聽別人的勸告，從不改變自己的觀點。美國駐英大使沃爾特·海因斯·佩奇到白宮向威爾遜總統報告英國的對美政策。威爾遜總統三番五次讓他停下來，可佩奇依然繼續。威爾遜用手指堵住耳朵，跑了出去。