第3章　牢記他人的名字

1898年，在紐約的洛克蘭鄉(xiāng)發(fā)生了一件悲劇：一個(gè)孩子死了。這天，鄰居正準(zhǔn)備去參加葬禮。吉姆·法萊到馬廄中去牽他那匹馬。地上滿(mǎn)是積雪，寒風(fēng)刺骨，那匹馬有好幾天都沒(méi)有運(yùn)動(dòng)了，因此當(dāng)它被拉到水槽邊的時(shí)候，歡欣鼓舞，奮起雙蹄向空中踢去，結(jié)果將吉姆·法萊踢死。因此在那個(gè)星期，在這個(gè)小小的鎮(zhèn)子里有兩個(gè)葬禮，而不是一個(gè)。

吉姆·法萊死后，留下了他的妻子和3個(gè)孩子，以及幾百美元的保險(xiǎn)金。

他最大的兒子小吉姆，這時(shí)才只有10歲，到磚廠(chǎng)去工作，運(yùn)沙子，將沙子倒入磚模中，將磚坯翻過(guò)來(lái)在太陽(yáng)底下曬干。這個(gè)小吉姆從來(lái)都沒(méi)有機(jī)會(huì)接受什么教育，但因?yàn)榫哂刑焐挠淇炱沸裕幸环N使別人喜歡他的才能。因此當(dāng)他從政以后，隨著歲月的流逝，他培養(yǎng)起一種記住別人名字的奇特能力。

他從未上過(guò)中學(xué)，但在他46歲以前，已經(jīng)有4所大學(xué)授予他名譽(yù)學(xué)位，他還成為美國(guó)民主黨全國(guó)委員會(huì)的主席，當(dāng)上了美國(guó)郵政總監(jiān)。

有一次，我去拜訪(fǎng)小吉姆·法萊，問(wèn)他成功的秘訣。他說(shuō)：“賣(mài)力地工作。”我說(shuō)：“別開(kāi)玩笑了。”

He then asked me what I thought was the reason for his success. I replied, “I understand you can call ten thousand people by their first names.”

“No. You are wrong,” he said.“I can call fifty thousand people by their first names.”

Make no mistake about it. That ability helped Mr.Farley put Franklin D.Roosevelt in the White House when he managed Roosevelt's campaign in 1932.

During the years that Jim Farley traveled as a salesman for a gypsum concern, and during the years that he held office as town clerk in Stony Point, he built up a system for remembering names.

In the beginning, it was a very simple one. Whenever he met a new acquaintance, he found out his or her complete name and some facts about his or her family, business and political opinions. He fixed all these facts well in mind as part of the picture, and the next time he met that person, even if it was a year later, he was able to shake hands, inquire after the family, and ask about the hollyhocks in the backyard. No wonder he developed a following!

For months before Roosevelt's campaign for President began, Jim Farley wrote hundreds of letters a day to people all over the western and northwestern states. Then he hopped onto a train and in nineteen days covered twenty states and twelve thousand miles, traveling by buggy, train, automobile and boat. He would drop into town, meet his people at lunch or breakfast, tea or dinner, and give them a “heart-to-heart talk.” Then he'd dash off again on another leg of his journey.

As soon as he arrived back East, he wrote to one person in each town he had

于是他問(wèn)我，我認(rèn)為他成功的原因是什么。我說(shuō)：“我知道你可以叫出一萬(wàn)人的名字。”

“不，不。你錯(cuò)了，”他說(shuō)，“我能叫出5萬(wàn)人的名字。”

千萬(wàn)不要小看這一點(diǎn)。正是這種能力，才使得小吉姆·法萊于1932年輔佐富蘭克林·羅斯福時(shí)，使他順利地入主白宮。

當(dāng)小吉姆·法萊為一家石膏公司擔(dān)任推銷(xiāo)員而到處奔波的那些年，當(dāng)他在家鄉(xiāng)小鎮(zhèn)擔(dān)任鄉(xiāng)間公務(wù)員的那段時(shí)間，他就找到了一種記住別人姓名的有效方法。

剛開(kāi)始的時(shí)候，這種方法非常簡(jiǎn)單。每當(dāng)他接觸一個(gè)陌生人的時(shí)候，總是要問(wèn)清對(duì)方的姓名、他家中有幾個(gè)人、他的職業(yè)和政治觀點(diǎn)，并認(rèn)真地記住這一切，將這些和其本人的面貌聯(lián)系起來(lái)。當(dāng)下次再遇到那個(gè)人時(shí)，即使是在一年以后，他都能夠和對(duì)方握手，問(wèn)候他的家人，以及他家后院的花草等。難怪有這么多人擁戴他！

在富蘭克林·羅斯福開(kāi)始競(jìng)選總統(tǒng)的前幾個(gè)月，小吉姆一天要寫(xiě)好幾百封信給西部及西北部各個(gè)州的人。然后他登上火車(chē)，在19天內(nèi)足跡遍及20個(gè)州，行程12000公里，用輕便馬車(chē)、火車(chē)、汽車(chē)、快艇代步。他每到一個(gè)城鎮(zhèn)，就要和人們共進(jìn)午餐或早點(diǎn)、茶點(diǎn)或晚餐，同他們作一番親切的交談，然后再奔向下一站。

等他一回到東部，就立刻給他到過(guò)的每個(gè)城鎮(zhèn)的某個(gè)人寫(xiě)信，請(qǐng)對(duì)方將與他

visited, asking for a list of all the guests to whom he had talked. The final list contained thousands and thousands of names; yet each person on that list was paid the subtle flattery of getting a personal letter from James Farley. These letters began “Dear Bill” or “Dear Jane,” and they were always signed “Jim.”

Jim Farley discovered early in life that the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it—and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage. For example, I once organized a public-speaking course in Paris and sent off letters to all the American residents in the city.French typists with apparently little knowledge of English filled in the names and naturally they made blunders. One man, the manager of a large American bank in Paris, wrote me a scathing rebuke because his name had been misspelled.

Sometimes it is difficult to remember a name, particularly if it is hard to pronounce. Rather than even try to learn it, many people ignore it or call the person by an easy nickname. Sid Levy called on a customer for some time whose name was Nicodemus Papadoulos.Most people just called him “Nick.” Levy told us, “I made a special effort to say his name over several times to myself before I made my call. When I greeted him by his full name，‘Good afternoon, Mr.Nicodemus Papadoulos，’he was shocked. For what seemed like several minutes there was no reply from him at all.Finally, he said with tears rolling down his cheeks，‘Mr.Levy, in all the fifteen years I have been in this country, nobody has ever made the effort to call me by my right name.’”

談過(guò)話(huà)的客人的名單寄給他。最后名單上的名字就多得數(shù)不清了，但名單中的每個(gè)人都收到了小吉姆一封表達(dá)贊美的私人信函。這些信都是用“親愛(ài)的比爾”或“親愛(ài)的簡(jiǎn)”開(kāi)頭的，而最后總是簽著“吉姆”的名字。

小吉姆·法萊早就發(fā)現(xiàn)普通人對(duì)自己的名字總是很感興趣，甚至比對(duì)世上其他所有名字加起來(lái)還要感興趣。記住一個(gè)人的姓名，并且能很容易就叫出來(lái)，你就是給對(duì)方一種巧妙而有效的恭維。但假若你忘了或記錯(cuò)了某個(gè)人的名字——你就會(huì)處于極其不利的境地。例如，我曾在巴黎開(kāi)設(shè)了一門(mén)公共演講課程，并向居住在城中的所有美國(guó)人寄了信。但法國(guó)打字員的英文水平很低，因此在打姓名時(shí)自然會(huì)出現(xiàn)錯(cuò)誤。有一個(gè)人是巴黎一家美國(guó)大銀行的經(jīng)理，他給我寫(xiě)了一封毫不留情面的責(zé)備我的信，因?yàn)樗拿制村e(cuò)了。

要想記住一個(gè)人的名字有時(shí)很難，尤其是當(dāng)這個(gè)名字不太好念的時(shí)候。一般人都不愿記這種名字，而情愿叫對(duì)方的昵稱(chēng)。希德·李維曾經(jīng)拜訪(fǎng)過(guò)一位顧客，這位顧客的名字叫尼古德馬斯·帕帕杜拉斯。由于這個(gè)名字太難記，大多數(shù)人都叫他“尼克”。李維告訴我：“拜訪(fǎng)之前，我特別用心記住了他的名字。當(dāng)我用全稱(chēng)和他打招呼‘早上好，尼古德馬斯·帕帕杜拉斯先生’時(shí)，他呆在那里，好幾分鐘都沒(méi)有反應(yīng)。最后，他流著淚說(shuō)：‘李維先生，我在這個(gè)國(guó)家已經(jīng)待了15年，可是從來(lái)沒(méi)有人用我真正的名字來(lái)稱(chēng)呼我！’”

安德魯·卡內(nèi)基成功的原因是什么？

What was the reason for Andrew Carnegie's success?

He was called the Steel King; yet he himself knew little about the manufacture of steel. He had hundreds of people working for him who knew far more about steel than he did.

But he knew how to handle people, and that is what made him rich. Early in life, he showed a flair for organization, a genius for leadership. By the time he was ten, he too had discovered the astounding importance people place on their own name. And he used that discovery to win cooperation. To illustrate: When he was a boy back in Scotland, he got hold of a rabbit, a mother rabbit.Presto! He soon had a whole nest of little rabbits—and nothing to feed them. But he had a brilliant idea. He told the boys and girls in the neighborhood that if they would go out and pull enough clover and dandelions to feed the rabbits, he would name the bunnies in their honor.

The plan worked like magic, and Carnegie never forgot it.

Years later, he made millions by using the same psychology in business. For example, he wanted to sell steel rails to the Pennsylvania Railroad.J.Edgar Thomson was the president of the Pennsylvania Railroad then. So Andrew Carnegie built a huge steel mill in Pittsburgh and called it the “Edgar Thomson Steel Works.”

Here is a riddle. See if you can guess it. When the Pennsylvania Railroad needed steel rails, where do you suppose J.Edgar Thomson bought them? From Sears, Roebuck? No. No. You're wrong.Guess again.

When Carnegie and George Pullman were battling each other for supremacy in the railroad sleeping-car business, the Steel King again remembered the lesson of the rabbits.

盡管他被譽(yù)為“鋼鐵大王”，但他自己對(duì)于鋼鐵制造的知識(shí)知之甚少。他有成千上萬(wàn)的人為他工作，他們?cè)阡撹F制造方面懂得的都比他要多得多。

但是他知道如何為人處世，而這正是他發(fā)財(cái)致富的原因。小時(shí)候，他就顯露出組織方面的本領(lǐng)和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)天賦。10歲那年，他就發(fā)現(xiàn)人們對(duì)自己的名字非常重視。于是他就利用這一發(fā)現(xiàn)去贏得合作。例如，當(dāng)他童年時(shí)代住在蘇格蘭的時(shí)候，抓到了一只懷孕的母兔。很快，他就有了一窩小兔子——可是他沒(méi)有東西給它們吃。但是他有一個(gè)很妙的辦法。他對(duì)鄰近的孩子們說(shuō)，如果他們?cè)敢獬鋈ゲ杉銐虻能俎：推压?lái)喂這些小兔子，他就用他們的名字來(lái)給它們?nèi)∶帧?/p>

這個(gè)方法太神奇了，安德魯·卡內(nèi)基永遠(yuǎn)也忘不了。

許多年以后，他在商業(yè)上應(yīng)用同樣的心理學(xué)，賺了好幾百萬(wàn)美元。例如，他希望將鋼軌賣(mài)給賓夕法尼亞鐵路公司。當(dāng)時(shí)埃格·湯姆森正好是這家公司的董事長(zhǎng)。于是安德魯·卡內(nèi)基在匹茲堡建了一家巨型鋼鐵廠(chǎng)，就取名為“埃格·湯姆森鋼鐵廠(chǎng)”。

你是否能猜出來(lái)，當(dāng)賓夕法尼亞鐵路公司需要鋼軌的時(shí)候，埃格·湯姆森會(huì)去哪里買(mǎi)呢？是西爾斯公司？是魯巴克公司？不！錯(cuò)了，再猜猜！

當(dāng)卡內(nèi)基與普爾曼之間為了獲得臥車(chē)生意而開(kāi)展激烈競(jìng)爭(zhēng)時(shí)，這位鋼鐵大王

The Central Transportation Company, which Andrew Carnegie controlled, was fighting with the company that Pullman owned.Both were struggling to get the sleeping-car business of the Union Pacific Railroad, bucking each other, slashing prices, and destroying all chance of profit.Both Carnegie and Pullman had gone to New York to see the board of directors of the Union Pacific.Meeting one evening in the St.Nicholas Hotel, Carnegie said, “Good evening, Mr. Pullman, aren't we making a couple of fools of ourselves?”

“What do you mean?” Pullman demanded.

Then Carnegie expressed what he had on his mind—a merger of their two interests. He pictured in glowing terms the mutual advantages of working with, instead of against, each other. Pullman listened attentively, but he was not wholly convinced.Finally he asked, “What would you call the new company?” and Carnegie replied promptly, “Why, the Pullman Palace Car Company, of course.”

Pullman's face brightened.“Come into my room,” he said.“Let's talk it over.” That talk made industrial history.

This policy of remembering and honoring the names of his friends and business associates was one of the secrets of Andrew Carnegie's leadership. He was proud of the fact that he could call many of his factory workers by their first names, and he boasted that while he was personally in charge, no strike ever disturbed his flaming steel mills.

Benton Love, chairman of Texas Commerce Bankshares, believes that the bigger a corporation gets, the colder it becomes.“One way to warm it up,” he said, “is to remember people's names.”

又想起了兔子的故事。

卡內(nèi)基控制的中央運(yùn)輸公司正在和普爾曼的公司火拼這場(chǎng)生意，雙方都希望獲得太平洋鐵路聯(lián)合公司的這筆臥車(chē)訂單，于是兩家公司互相排擠、大殺其價(jià)，最后到了無(wú)利可圖的地步。卡內(nèi)基與普爾曼都親自去太平洋聯(lián)合公司在紐約的董事局。一天晚上，在圣尼古拉大飯店中，卡內(nèi)基遇到了普爾曼，他說(shuō)：“晚上好，普爾曼先生！我們不是在自己出洋相嗎？”

“你這是什么意思？”普爾曼問(wèn)。

于是，卡內(nèi)基把自己心中想了許久的話(huà)說(shuō)了出來(lái)——將他們雙方的利益合在一起。兩家公司互相合作而不競(jìng)爭(zhēng)的好處，被他描述得天花亂墜。普爾曼認(rèn)真地聽(tīng)著，但并沒(méi)有完全贊同。最后他問(wèn)道：“這家新公司你怎么取名呢？”卡內(nèi)基立刻回答說(shuō)：“哦！當(dāng)然是普爾曼皇宮臥車(chē)公司。”

普爾曼立刻神采飛揚(yáng)。“到我房里來(lái)，”他說(shuō)，“我們來(lái)詳細(xì)談?wù)劇！蹦谴握勗?huà)改寫(xiě)了美國(guó)工業(yè)史。

安德魯·卡內(nèi)基這種記住并尊敬他的朋友及同行名字的習(xí)慣，正是他成為商界領(lǐng)袖的秘訣之一。他能叫出他手下許多工人的名字，這也是他引以為豪的。他還非常得意地說(shuō)，當(dāng)他親自管理公司的時(shí)候，從未發(fā)生過(guò)罷工的事件。

得克薩斯州商業(yè)股份有限公司董事長(zhǎng)班頓·拉夫認(rèn)為，公司越大就越冷漠。

Karen Kirsech of Rancho Palos Verdes, California, a flight attendant for TWA, made it a practice to learn the names of as many passengers in her cabin as possible and use the name when serving them. This resulted in many compliments on her service expressed both to her directly and to the airline. One passenger wrote:“I haven't flown TWA for some time, but I'm going to start flying nothing but TWA from now on. You make me feel that your airline has become a very personalized airline and that is important to me.”

People are so proud of their names that they strive to perpetuate them at any cost. Even blustering, hardboiled old P.T.Barnum, the greatest showman of his time, disappointed because he had no sons to carry on his name, offered his grandson, C.H. Seeley，$25，000 if he would call himself “Barnum” Seeley.

For many centuries, nobles and magnates supported artists, musicians and authors so that their creative works would be dedicated to them.

Libraries and museums owe their richest collections to people who cannot bear to think that their names might perish from the memory of the race. The New York Public Library has its Astor and Lenox collections. The Metropolitan Museum perpetuates the names of Benjamin Altman and J.P.Morgan. And nearly every church is beautiful by stained-glass windows commemorating the names of their donors. Many of the buildings on the campus of most universities bear the names of donors who contributed large sums of money for this honor.

Most people don't remember names, for the simple reason that they don't take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds.

“唯一能夠使公司變得溫暖一些的辦法，”他說(shuō)，“就是記住人們的名字。”

加利福尼亞蘭克帕羅市的凱倫·科瑟奇是一位空姐，她經(jīng)常練習(xí)記住飛機(jī)上旅客的名字，并在為他們服務(wù)時(shí)稱(chēng)呼他們的名字。因此，有的顧客會(huì)當(dāng)面表?yè)P(yáng)她，也有的顧客會(huì)告訴公司。有一位顧客曾寫(xiě)信說(shuō)：“我許久沒(méi)有坐你們公司的飛機(jī)了。但從現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始，我一定要等你們公司的飛機(jī)才乘坐。你們讓我覺(jué)得你們的航空公司好像專(zhuān)屬化了，而這對(duì)我非常重要。”

人們?nèi)绱酥匾曀麄兊拿郑虼怂麄儠?huì)不惜代價(jià)地使之永垂不朽。就連脾氣暴躁而且富可敵國(guó)的伯納姆，也曾因?yàn)闆](méi)有兒子繼承其姓氏而心灰意冷，以至于答應(yīng)他的外孫西雷，如果他愿意稱(chēng)自己為“伯納姆·西雷”的話(huà)，情愿給他25000美元。

幾百年來(lái)，有錢(qián)人常常出錢(qián)資助那些藝術(shù)家、音樂(lè)家和作家，希望他們的作品獻(xiàn)給他們。

圖書(shū)館和博物館最有價(jià)值的收藏品，常常是由那些擔(dān)心他們的姓名日后被遺忘的人捐贈(zèng)的。紐約公共圖書(shū)館有愛(ài)斯德家族與李諾克斯家族的藏書(shū)；大都會(huì)博物館則永遠(yuǎn)保存著本杰明·愛(ài)特曼與摩根的名字。幾乎每一個(gè)教堂都鑲嵌上了彩色玻璃，以紀(jì)念捐贈(zèng)者。許多大學(xué)校園的建筑物也刻有捐贈(zèng)者的名字，他們捐贈(zèng)了大筆錢(qián)來(lái)獲得此榮耀。

They make excuses for themselves; they are too busy.

But they were probably no busier than Franklin D. Roosevelt, and he took time to remember and recall even the names of mechanics with whom he came into contact.

To illustrate: The Chrysler organization built a special car for Mr. Roosevelt, who could not use a standard car because his legs were paralyzed.W.F. Chamberlain and a mechanic delivered it to the White House. I have in front of me a letter from Mr. Chamberlain relating his experiences.“I taught President Roosevelt how to handle a car with a lot of unusual gadgets, but he taught me a lot about the fine art of handling people.

“When I called at the White House,” Mr. Chamberlain writes, “the President was extremely pleasant and cheerful. He called me by name, made me feel very comfortable, and particularly impressed me with the fact that he was vitally interested in things I had to show him and tell him. The car was so designed that it could be operated entirely by hand. A crowd gathered around to look at the car; and he remarked，‘I think it is marvelous. All you have to do is to touch a button and it moves away and you can drive it without effort. I think it is grand—I don't know what makes it go. I'd love to have the time to tear it down and see how it works.'

“When Roosevelt's friends and associates admired the machine, he said in their presence:‘Mr. Chamberlain, I certainly appreciate all the time and effort you have spent in developing this car. It is a mighty free job.'He admired the radiator, the special rear-vision mirror and clock, the special spotlight, the kind of upholstery, the sitting position of the driver's seat, the special suitcases in the trunk with his monogram on each suitcase.

大多數(shù)人之所以不記得別人的姓名，只是因?yàn)樗麄儾幌牖〞r(shí)間和精力去用心記。他們總是為自己尋找各種借口，例如說(shuō)他們太忙了。

但他們大概不會(huì)比富蘭克林·羅斯福更忙了，然而羅斯福卻能花時(shí)間去記那些他曾經(jīng)接觸過(guò)的機(jī)械師的名字。

例如，克萊斯勒汽車(chē)公司曾為羅斯福先生特制了一輛汽車(chē)，因?yàn)樗耐劝c瘓了不能開(kāi)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)型號(hào)的車(chē)。張伯倫和一位機(jī)械師將汽車(chē)送到了白宮。我這里有一封張伯倫的信，講了他當(dāng)時(shí)的經(jīng)歷：“我教羅斯福總統(tǒng)如何駕駛一輛配置了許多特殊部件的汽車(chē)，但他也教給我許多為人處世的知識(shí)。

“當(dāng)我被召到白宮的時(shí)候，”張伯倫先生寫(xiě)道，“總統(tǒng)非常高興。他叫出了我的名字，使我感到非常欣慰。令我印象尤其深刻的，是他確實(shí)很注意我對(duì)他所說(shuō)明的事項(xiàng)。這輛汽車(chē)設(shè)計(jì)成完全可以用手操作。一群人圍在汽車(chē)四周觀看。他說(shuō)：‘我認(rèn)為這輛汽車(chē)真是太棒了。只要按下這開(kāi)關(guān)就可以開(kāi)動(dòng)，毫不費(fèi)力。實(shí)在是太好了——我不知道它是如何工作的。我真希望有時(shí)間拆開(kāi)來(lái)，看看它是如何工作的。’

“當(dāng)羅斯福的朋友和同事都在稱(chēng)贊這輛車(chē)時(shí)，他當(dāng)著他們的面說(shuō)：‘張伯倫先生，我真的非常感謝你為了設(shè)計(jì)這輛車(chē)所花的時(shí)間和精力。這簡(jiǎn)直太棒了。’他對(duì)散熱器、特制反光鏡、時(shí)鐘、特制照明燈、椅墊的式樣、駕駛座的位置、車(chē)

In other words, he took notice of every detail to which he knew I had given considerable thought. He made a point of bringing these various pieces of equipment to the attention of Mrs.Roosevelt, Miss Perkins, the Secretary of Labor, and his secretary. He even brought the old White House porter into the picture by saying，‘George, you want to take particularly good care of the suitcases.’

“When the driving lesson was finished, the President turned to me and said，‘Well, Mr. Chamberlain, I have been keeping the Federal reserve Board waiting thirty minutes. I guess I had better get back to work.’

“I took a mechanic with me to the White House. He was introduced to Roosevelt when he arrived. He didn't talk to the President, and Roosevelt heard his name only once. He was a shy chap, and he kept in the background. But before leaving us, the President looked for the mechanic, shook his hand, called him by name, and thanked him for coming to Washington. And there was nothing perfunctory about his thanks. He meant what he said. I could feel that.

“A few days after returning to New York, I got an autographed photograph of President Roosevelt and a little note of thanks again expressing his appreciation for my assistance. How he found time to do it is a mystery to me.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important—yet how many of us do it?

Half the time we are introduced to a stranger, we chat a few minutes and can't even

廂內(nèi)標(biāo)有他姓名縮寫(xiě)字母的特制衣箱等，都大加贊賞。換句話(huà)說(shuō)，他注意到了每個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)，知道我所付出的心血。他還特別讓羅斯福夫人、波金女士、勞工部長(zhǎng)和他的秘書(shū)注意這些部件。他甚至還讓那位白宮老搬運(yùn)工也格外小心，他說(shuō)：‘喬治，你可要小心這些衣箱。’

“在上完駕駛課之后，總統(tǒng)轉(zhuǎn)向我說(shuō)：‘好了，張伯倫先生，我已經(jīng)讓聯(lián)邦儲(chǔ)備委員會(huì)等我30分鐘了。我想我該回去工作了。’

“我?guī)Я艘晃粰C(jī)械師去白宮。他剛到白宮時(shí)曾被介紹給羅斯福總統(tǒng)。他沒(méi)有和總統(tǒng)說(shuō)過(guò)一句話(huà)，而羅斯福總統(tǒng)也只聽(tīng)過(guò)他的名字一次。他是一個(gè)害羞的人，總是退縮在后面。但是在離開(kāi)以前，總統(tǒng)找到這位機(jī)械師，和他握了握手，還叫出了他的名字，對(duì)他來(lái)到華盛頓表示感謝。他的這種感謝絕非做作，而是出自真心誠(chéng)意。我能感覺(jué)到這一點(diǎn)。

“回到紐約幾天后，我就收到了一張由羅斯福總統(tǒng)親筆簽名的照片，照片上還有簡(jiǎn)短的謝詞，再次對(duì)我的幫助表示感謝。他如何有時(shí)間做這樣的事，可真讓我難以理解。”

富蘭克林·羅斯福知道一個(gè)最簡(jiǎn)單、最明顯、最重要的使人獲得好感的方法，那就是記住別人的姓名，使人感覺(jué)受到了重視——但我們有多少人能夠這樣做呢？

有一半情形是這樣的：我們被介紹給一位陌生人，和對(duì)方談了幾分鐘，可是

remember his or her name by the time we say goodbye.

One of the first lessons a politician learns is this:“To recall a voter's name is statesmanship. To forget it is oblivion.”

And the ability to remember names is almost as important in business and social contacts as it is in politics.

Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France and nephew of the great Napoleon, boasted that in spite of all his royal duties he could remember the name of every person he met.

His technique? Simple. If he didn't hear the name distinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn't get the name clearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, “How is it spelled?”

During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the person's features, expression and general appearance.

If the person was someone of importance, Napoleon went to even further pains. As soon as His Royal Highness was alone, he wrote the name down on a piece of paper, looked at it, concentrated on it, fixed it securely in his mind, and then tore up the paper. In this way, he gained an eye impression of the name as well as an ear impression.

All this takes time, but “Good manners,” said Emerson, “are made up of petty sacrifices.”

We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing... and nobody else. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special

在分手的時(shí)候連對(duì)方的姓名都不記得。

作為一名政治家，所要學(xué)的第一課就是：“記住選民的姓名就是政治才能。倘若忘記，你將會(huì)被遺忘。”

在個(gè)人事業(yè)與商業(yè)交往中，記住姓名的能力與在政治領(lǐng)域中幾乎同樣重要。

法國(guó)皇帝拿破侖三世——也就是偉大的拿破侖的侄子，曾自我炫耀地說(shuō)，雖然國(guó)務(wù)很忙，但是他能記住他所見(jiàn)過(guò)的每一個(gè)人的姓名。

他的方法呢？很簡(jiǎn)單。如果他沒(méi)有聽(tīng)清楚對(duì)方的姓名，就會(huì)說(shuō)：“對(duì)不起。我沒(méi)聽(tīng)清楚姓名。”如果這是一個(gè)不常見(jiàn)的姓名，他就會(huì)問(wèn)：“這是如何拼的？”

在談話(huà)的過(guò)程中，他會(huì)將那個(gè)人的名字反復(fù)記幾次，并在大腦中將這個(gè)姓名和這個(gè)人的面孔、神色以及外觀對(duì)應(yīng)起來(lái)。

如果對(duì)方是個(gè)很重要的人物，拿破侖三世就會(huì)更費(fèi)心思記住他。在他單獨(dú)一人的時(shí)候，會(huì)將這人的姓名寫(xiě)在一張紙上，仔細(xì)觀看，牢牢記住，確信記住后將那張紙撕掉。這樣，他對(duì)那個(gè)人的印象就會(huì)更深了。

所有這些事都要費(fèi)一定的工夫，但愛(ài)默生認(rèn)為：“禮貌，是由小小的犧牲換來(lái)的。”

我們應(yīng)注意名字中包含的魔力，明白這正是我們與之打交道的人所完全擁有的東西，而不是屬于別人的。名字使人們與他人有所區(qū)別，在眾人中與眾不同。

importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.

Principle 3：Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

當(dāng)我們記住某人的姓名后，我們傳遞給對(duì)方的信息就會(huì)非常重要了。從服務(wù)員到高級(jí)經(jīng)理，如果記住了他們的名字，我們與之交往時(shí)就會(huì)收到奇效。

第三項(xiàng)規(guī)則：記住一個(gè)人的姓名，對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)這是所有語(yǔ)言中最甜蜜、最重要的聲音。