But a stony roll always gathers the stony stare.

WAITER An Inn-experienced servant.

WAR A wholesale means of making heroes which, if planned in a small way, would produce only murderers.

WATER A thin substance applied to stocks with which to soak buyers.

WEDDING A trade in which the bride is generally given away, and the groom is often sold.

WEEDS Found in gardens and widows. For removing easily, marry the widow.

WICKEDNESS A myth invented by good people to account for the singular attractiveness of others.

WIDOW The wife of a golfer during the open season, unless she golfs, too. In that event the children are golf orphans.

WHISKY Trouble put up in liquid form.

WIND An aerial phenomenon, superinduced by an ephemeral agitation of the nebular strata, whereby air, (hot or cold), impelled into transitory activity, generates a prolonged passage through space, owing to certain occult ethereal stimuli, and results in zephyrs, breezes, blows, blow-outs, blizzards, gales, simoons, hurricanes, tornadoes or typhoons. Barred from Kansas Cyclone-cellars but frequently blended with Chicago tongue--canned or conversational.

WOMAN An aspiring creature whose political sphere is still slightly flattened at the polls.

WORD Something you must keep after giving it to another.

WORRY A state of mind that leads some persons to fear, every time the tide goes out, that it won't come in again.

WRINKLES A merchant's trade-marks.

It's the first straw hat which shows how the wind blows.