Brevity is the soul of wit--and the sole charm of a bicycle skirt.

TAILOR One who takes your measure on first sight, gives you a fit, sews you up and follows suit until paid.

TALK A continuous performance playing daily and nightly engagements, with Woman as the star and Man confined in the Family Circle.

TELEGRAM A form of correspondence sent by a man in a hurry and carried by a boy in sleep.

TELEPHONE From Eng. tell, to talk, and Grk. phonos, murder. A machine in which talk is murdered.

TENNIS A game in which the participants enjoy a racket on the side and raise the deuce over a net, while the volleys drive them from set to set and love scores as often as it's mentioned.

TEMPER A quality, the loss of which is likely to make a knife blade dull and a woman's tongue sharp.

THERMOMETER A short, glass tube that regulates the weather--and usually does a poor job.

THIRST A sensation immediately following a short session at the free lunch stand.

TIDE An old friend who comes and goes daily but is all in whenever he gets over the bay.

TITIAN The color a poor red-headed girl's hair becomes as soon as her father strikes oil.

TIPS Wages we pay other people's hired help.

TOBACCO A nauseating plant that is consumed by but two creatures; a large, green worm and--man. The worm doesn't know any better.

TONGUE An unruly member that is frequently put out, yet an artist who's a hard worker at the palate and a great wag among women.

TOUCH A habit common to the impecunious, causing in its victim a feeling of faintness, followed by a chill or a sense of loss.

TRANSFER A small bit of paper of remarkable strength, being able to carry a heavy man several miles.

TROLLEY-CAR A conveyance filled with advertisements, and occasionally passengers, and operated by Poles.

TROUBLE Something that many are looking for but no one wants.

TRUST A small body of capital entirely surrounded by water.

TWINS Insult added to Injury.

TWISTERS An undesirable thing to have on hand.

Its a wise son who can get two birds with One Bone.