對撒謊者最好的報復，就是讓他相信你真的信了他的謊言。

當我們打算做一件我們潛意識里知道注定要失敗的事情時，就會征詢別人的建議，這樣就可以把失敗怪罪到別人頭上。

當你真心想說“不”的時候，就會更難說出口。

如果你說“不”是認真的，就用不著再說第二次。

對你名譽損害最大的是你為了維護它而說的話。

當一個人開始談論衰老的時候，他就真的開始老了。

他們會羨慕你的成功、你的財富、你的聰明、你的相貌、你的地位——但是很少有人會羨慕你的智慧。

人們所謂的“謙遜”，其實通常都是掩飾得比較成功的傲慢。

如果你想讓人們讀某一本書，告訴他們它名不副實。

只有當他們開始對你展開人身攻擊時，你才算是贏得了一場爭論。

沒有什么比“臨時”的安排、赤字、休戰和情感關系更加恒久，沒有什么比“恒久”的這些東西更加臨時。

讓我們最痛苦的，不是跟沒意思的人在一起，而是跟努力表現得有意思的沒意思的人在一起。恨是某一行代碼出了錯誤的愛，這錯誤可以改正，但很難尋找。

假如我的某個死敵發現我恨的是另一個人，我不知道他是不是會感到嫉妒。

失敗者的特點是會抱怨人類的缺陷、偏見、自相矛盾和缺乏理智，但又不利用這些東西追求自己的歡樂和利益。

你是否真的喜歡一本書，判斷標準是你是否會重讀它（以及重讀了多少遍）；你是否真的喜歡一個人的陪伴，判斷標準是你是否愿意再次遇見他——剩下的都是空話，或者那種現在被稱為“自尊”的情緒。

我們會問“他為什么富有（或是貧窮）”，而不是“他為什么不更富有（或是更貧窮）”；我們會問“為什么危機如此深重”，而不是“為什么危機不更加深重”。

恨遠比愛更不容易偽造。你聽說過虛假的愛，但還沒聽說過虛假的恨。

男子氣概的反義詞不是怯懦，而是科技。

一般來說，所謂“好的傾聽者”其實對他們傾聽的內容漠不關心，只不過他們擅長掩蓋這種漠不關心。

正是人們表現出來的自相矛盾之處讓他們富有魅力。

你記得住自己發出去卻沒收到回復的郵件，卻記不住自己收到了而沒有回復的郵件。

人們會把恭維之詞留給那些對他們的驕傲感沒有威脅的人；至于那些威脅到他們驕傲感的人，他們會用“驕傲”來評價。

從古羅馬的老加圖開始，人們一直通過斥責下一代人的“淺薄”、贊揚上一輩人的“價值”來表現自己的成熟。

要忍住不給別人提出鍛煉和保健方面的建議，簡直跟自己堅持鍛煉一樣難。

表揚一個人沒有缺點的時候，你也在指出他沒有優點。

當她嚷嚷著無法原諒你做的事情的時候，她已經開始原諒你了。

只有當你很容易感到厭倦的時候，缺乏想象力才算是個問題。

那些把自己當做世界中心的人，我們稱之為自戀者；那些把自己和另一個人當做世界中心的人，我們稱做情人。

從來都不是可以被宣告結束的，如果是這樣，其中至少有一個人是愚人。

絕大多數人害怕失去視聽刺激，因為當他們自己去思考和想象時，總是在重復同樣的內容。

沒有回報的恨遠比沒有回報的愛更能讓人顯得渺小。

對于有同情心的人來說，用新的悲哀來替換舊的悲哀，遠比用快樂替換悲哀要容易。

年輕人的智慧跟老人的輕佻一樣不討人喜歡。

有些人只有在試圖表現得嚴肅的時候才顯得滑稽。

談話時，要忍住不把秘密說出來是很難的，仿佛信息具有生存的欲望和繁殖的能力。

COUNTER NARRATIVES

The best revenge on a liar is to convince him that you believe what he said.

When we want to do something while unconsciously certain to fail，we seek advice so we can blame someone else for the failure.

It is harder to say no when you really mean it than when you don‘t.

Never say no twice if you mean it.

Your reputation is harmed the most by what you say to defend it.

The only objective definition of aging is when a person starts to talk about aging.

They will envy you for your success，for your wealth，for your intelligence，for your looks，for your status ——but rarely for your wisdom.

Most of what they call humility is successfully disguised arrogance.

If you want people to read a book，tell them it is overrated.

You never win an argument until they attack your person.

Nothing is more permanent than “temporary”arrangements，deficits，truces，and relationships；and nothing is more temporary than “permanent”ones.

The most painful moments are not those we spend with uninteresting people；rather，they are those spent with uninteresting people trying hard to be interesting.

Hatred is love with a typo somewhere in the computer code，correctable but very hard to find.

I wonder whether a bitter enemy would be jealous if he discovered that I hated someone else.

The characteristic feature of the loser is to bemoan，in general terms，mankind’s flaws，biases，contradictions，and irrationality——without exploiting them for fun and profit.

The test of whether you really liked a book is if you reread it (and how many times)；the test of whether you really liked someone‘s company is if you are ready to meet him again and again——the rest is spin，or that variety of sentiment now called self-esteem.

We ask “why is he rich (or poor)”not “why isn’t he richer (or poorer)”；“why is the crisis so deep”not “why isn‘t it deeper”.

Hatred is much harder to fake than love.You hear of fake love；never of fake hate.

The opposite of manliness isn’t cowardice；it‘s technology

Usually，what we call “good listener”is someone with skillfully polished indifference.

It is the appearance of inconsistency，and not its absence，that makes people attractive.

You remember emails you sent that were not answered better than emails that you did not answer.

People reserve standard compliments for those who do not threaten their pride；the others they often praise by calling “arrogant”.

Since Cato the Elder，a certain type of maturity has shown up when one starts blaming the new generation for “shallowness”and praising the previous one for its “values”.

It is as difficult to avoid bugging others with advice on how to exercise and other health matters as it is to stick to an exercise schedule.

By praising someone for his lack of defects you are also implying his lack of virtues.

When she shouts that what you did was unforgivable，she has already started to forgive you.

Being unimaginative is only a problem when you are easily bored.

We call narcissistic those individuals who behave as if they were the central residents of the world；those who do exactly the same in a set of two we call lovers.

Friendship that ends was never one；there was at least one sucker in it.

Most people fear being without audiovisual stimulation because they are too repetitive when they think and imagine things on their own.

Unrequited hate is vastly more diminishing for the self than unrequited love.You can’t react by reciprocating.

For the compassionate，sorrow is more easily displaced by another sorrow，than by joy.

Wisdom in the young is as unattractive as frivolity in the elderly.

Some people are only funny when they try to be serious.

It is difficult to stop the impulse to reveal secrets in conversation，as if information had the desire to live and the power to multiply.