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第13章

接近圣誕假期的尾聲,確切的日期不知道

親愛的長腿叔叔:

您那里下雪了嗎?從我的小閣樓望出去,全世界都變成白茫茫的一片,而雪花如爆米花一般飄落。此刻是傍晚時分,冰黃色的太陽剛落到寒冷的、紫色的山頭后面,我在窗臺上憑借著最后一點兒余光寫信給您。

您的五個金幣真是個驚喜!我不太習慣收到圣誕禮物。您已經給我這么多東西了——我所擁有的一切,您知道的——我覺得自己已經擁有太多了。但我還是很喜歡它們。您想知道我用錢買了什么嗎?

一、一只皮盒裝的銀表,是戴在手腕上的,能及時提醒我時間。

二、馬修·奧納德的詩集。

三、一個熱水壺。

四、一張小毯子(我的小閣樓很冷)。

五、500張帶網格線的黃色稿紙(我很快就要開始寫作了)。

六、一本同義詞字典(可以增加我的詞匯量)。

七、(我不太想告訴您最后一件,不過我會的)一雙絲襪。

如果您一定要知道的話,是個很淺薄的理由促使我去買絲襪的。茱莉亞·平萊頓每天晚上到我的房間里來讀書,她總是穿著絲襪,雙腿交叉坐在椅子上。不過等著好了,等她一放假回來,我就要走進去,穿著我的絲襪坐在她的椅子上。您瞧,叔叔,我真是壞坯子,不過,至少我很誠實。您早就從約翰·格利爾之家的記錄中了解到我不是完美的,不是嗎?

我對我的7個禮物都心存感激。我假裝它們是裝在大箱子里,從加州的家里寄來的。您不會反對吧,是嗎?假裝您是我的一整個大家庭?

現在我該跟您談談我的假期,還是您仍舊只關心我的教育?我希望您能了解“仍舊”這個詞的微妙含義。這是我新學會的詞。

那個來自德州的女孩名叫倫農拉·芬頓(這名字和喬若莎一樣可笑,是嗎?)。我喜歡她,不過比不上喜歡莎麗·麥克白。我可能不會喜歡其他人像喜歡莎麗一樣多——除了您。我永遠都會最喜歡您的,因為您是我一大家子的化身。每當天氣好時,倫農拉跟我還有兩個二年級的女孩子就遠行至鄉間,穿著短裙和毛衣,戴著手工編織的帽子,拿著光溜溜的棍子四處敲打。有一回我們走到4英里外的鎮上,來到一家餐館,大學里的女孩子都在那里用晚餐。我們要了龍蝦(35美分),吃完后又吃了煎餅(15美分)。真是營養又便宜!

這真的很有趣!尤其對我而言,因為這跟孤兒院太不一樣了——每回我離開學校,都覺得自己好像是逃獄的犯人。還沒來得及思考,就開始跟別人分享我過去的經歷了。這秘密差點就脫口而出,我趕忙閉上嘴,把它咽回肚子里。對我而言,我很難不去說我所知道的一切。我天性誠實,如果不是有您可以傾訴,我一定會爆炸的。

我們上星期五吃了麥芽糖,是大樓的管理員提供的。一個戴白帽子的廚師變出22頂帽子來——我想不出他是從哪里弄來的——于是我們把自己全變為廚師。

真的很有趣,雖然我吃過味道更好的麥芽糖。當一切終于結束時,我們自己、廚房還有門板全都黏糊糊的,我們還戴著白帽和圍裙,組成了游行隊伍,每個人都帶著一把大湯匙或平底鍋。我們穿過空蕩蕩的大廳來到了教師休息室,那里有半打的教授正在打發寧靜的夜晚。我們為他們唱校歌,然后送上麥芽糖。他們禮貌但猶豫地接了下來。我們離開了,留他們吃著大片的麥芽糖,黏糊糊的,讓他們都說不出話來。

所以您瞧瞧,叔叔,這就是我的求學過程!

您真的認為我應該當個藝術家,而不是作家嗎?

再過兩天,假期就要結束了,我又可以高興地見到女孩子們了。

可憐的叔叔,您一定累了!我本來打算寫封簡短的感謝函——不過我一拿起筆就停不下來了。

晚安,謝謝您惦記著我——我應該無比快樂,但心頭有一小朵的烏云。二月要考試了。

您充滿愛的,茱蒂

P. S.致上愛意可能會不太適當吧?如果是這樣,請原諒我。不過我一定得愛某人,而我只有您跟李皮太太可以選擇,所以您瞧,您得忍耐一下,親愛的叔叔,因為我無法愛她。

Towards the end of the Christmas vacation.

Exact date unknown

Dear Daddy-Long-Legs,

Is it snowing where you are?All the world that I see from my tower is draped in white and the flakes are coming down as big as pop-corns. It's late afternoon-the sun is just setting(a cold yellow colour)behind some colder violet hills, and I am up in my window seat using the last light to write to you.

Your five gold pieces were a surprise!I'm not used to receiving Christmas presents. You have already given me such lots of things-everything I have, you know-that I don't quite feel that I deserve extras.But I like them just the same.Do you want to know what I bought with my money?

I. A silver watch in a leather case to wear on my wrist and get me to recitations in time.

II. Matthew Arnold's poems.

III. A hot water bottle.

IV. A steamer rug.(My tower is cold.)

V. Five hundred sheets of yellow manuscript paper.(I'm going to commence being an author pretty soon.)

VI. A dictionary of synonyms.(To enlarge the author's vocabulary.)

VII.(I don't much like to confess this last item, but I will.)

A pair of silk stockings.

It was a very low motive, if you must know it, that prompted the silk stockings. Julia Pendleton comes into my room to do geometry, and she sits cross-legged on the couch and wears silk stockings every night.But just wait-as soon as she gets back from vacation I shall go in and sit on her couch in my silk stockings.You see, Daddy, the miserable creature that I am but at least I'm honest;and you knew already, from my asylum record, that I wasn't perfect, didn't you?

I am very much obliged for my seven presents. I'm pretending to myself that they came in a box from my family in California.You don't object, do you, to playing the part of a composite family?

And now, shall I tell you about my vacation, or are you only interested in my education as such?I hope you appreciate the delicate shade of meaning in"as such". It is the latest addition to my vocabulary.

The girl from Texas is named Leonora Fenton.(Almost as funny as Jerusha, isn't it?)I like her, but not so much as Sallie McBride;I shall never like any one so much as Sallie-except you. I must always like you the best of all, because you're my whole family rolled into one.Leonora and I and two Sophomores have walked across country every pleasant day and explored the whole neighbourhood, dressed in short skirts and knit jackets and caps, and carrying shiny sticks to whack things with.Once we walked into town-four miles-and stopped at a restaurant where the college girls go for dinner.Broiled lobster(35 cents),and for dessert, buckwheat cakes and maple syrup(15 cents).Nourishing and cheap.

It was such a lark!Especially for me, because it was so awfully different from the asylum-I feel like an escaped convict every time I leave the campus. Before I thought, I started to tell the others what an experience I was having.The cat was almost out of the bag when I grabbed it by its tail and pulled it back.It's awfully hard for me not to tell everything I know.I'm a very confiding soul by nature;if I didn't have you to tell things to, I'd burst.

We had a molasses candy pull last Friday evening, given by the house matron of Fergussen to the left-behinds in the other halls. The chef, in a white cap and apron, fetched out twenty-two other white caps and aprons-I can't imagine where he got so many-and we all turned ourselves into cooks.

It was great fun, though I have seen better candy. When it was finally finished, and ourselves and the kitchen and the door-knobs all thoroughly sticky, we organized a procession and still in our caps and aprons, each carrying a big fork or spoon or frying pan, we marched through the empty corridors to the officers'parlour, where half-a-dozen professors and instructors were passing a tranquil evening.We serenaded them with college songs and offered refreshments.They accepted politely but dubiously.We left them sucking chunks of molasses candy, sticky and speechless.

So you see, Daddy, my education progresses!

Don't you really think that I ought to be an artist instead of an author?

Vacation will be over in two days and I shall be glad to see the girls again.

Poor Daddy, you must be tired!I meant this to be just a short little thank-you note-but when I get started I seem to have a ready pen.

Goodbye, and thank you for thinking of me-I should be perfectly happy except for one little threatening cloud on the horizon. Examinations come in February.

Yours with love, Judy

PS. Maybe it isn't proper to send love?If it isn't, please excuse.But I must love somebody and there's only you and Mrs.

Lippett to choose between, so you see-you'll HAVE to put up with it, Daddy dear, because I can't love her.

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