Do You Act or React？

佚名 / Anonymous

I walked with my friend to the newsstand the other night， and he bought a paper， thanking the newspaper seller politely. The vendor didn’t even acknowledge it.

“A sullen fellow， isn’t he？” I commented.

“Oh， he’s that way every night，” shrugged my friend.

“Then why do you continue to be so polite to him？” I asked.

“Why not？” inquired nay friend. “Why should I let him decide how I’m going to act？”

As I thought about this incident later， it occurred to me that the important word was “act”. My friend acts toward people； most of us react toward them.

He has a sense of inner balance which is lacking in most of us； he knows who he is， what he stands for， how he should behave. He refuses to return incivility from incivility， because then he would no longer be in command of his own conduct.

When we are enjoined in the Bible to return good for evil， we look upon this as a moral injunction —which it is. But it is also a psychological prescription for our emotional health.

Nobody is unhappier than the perpetual reactor. His center of emotional gravity is not rooted within himself， where it belongs， but in the world outside him. His spiritual temperature is always being raised or lowered by the social climate around him， and he is a mere creature at the mercy of these elements.

Praise gives him a feeling of euphoria， which is false， because it does not last and it does not come from self approval. Criticism depresses him more than it should， because it confirms his own secretly shaky opinion of himself. Snubs hurt him， and the merest suspicion of unpopularity in any quarter rouses him to bitterness.

A serenity of spirit cannot be achieved until we become the masters of our own actions and attitudes. To let another determine whether we shall be rude or gracious， elated or depressed， is to relinquish control over our own personalities， which is ultimately all we possess. The only true possession is self-possession.

前兩天晚上，我和朋友散步，走到一個書報攤前，朋友買了一份報紙，很禮貌地跟那位報販道謝，而那報販卻置若罔聞。

“他可真是個沉悶的家伙，不是嗎？” 我批評道。

“噢，他每個晚上都這樣?！?朋友聳聳肩說。

“那你為什么還對他這么有禮貌呢？” 我問道。

“為什么不呢？”朋友反問道，“我怎么做，為什么要讓他決定呢？”

后來，我反復思索這件小事，發現最重要的字眼是“主動去做”。朋友的舉動是主動待人，而我們大多數都是被動的回應。

他擁有內心的平衡感，而我們大多數人卻很缺乏；他了解自我，明確自己的立場，通曉處世之道。他拒絕以怨抱怨，那樣他將不再是自己行為的主宰。

當我們遵奉《圣經》以德報怨的訓誡時，視其為一種道德規范——它的確如此。但同時，它也是精神健康的一劑良藥。

一味被動回應的人最不容易快樂。他情感的重心隨外界轉移，而非根植于自己的內心世界；他的情緒隨周圍的社會風尚變遷，成了受這些因素擺布的可憐蟲。

稱贊并不能給他帶來真正的快樂，因為，它不會持久，而且并非來自自我認可；批評會使他過度悲傷，因為他內心深處的不自信再一次得到確認；冷落會使他傷痛，他也會因某處哪怕一點點的怠慢而痛苦不堪。

要做到平心靜氣，我們就要主宰自己的行為和態度。如果我們的舉止是粗魯或優雅、是歡欣或沮喪，要由他人來決定的話，就是放棄對自我的主宰，而這是我們真正擁有的東西。我們唯一真正擁有的就是自我控制。

記憶填空

1.“A sullen ， isn’t he？”I commented.

“Oh， he’s that every night，”shrugged my friend.

“Then do you continue to be so polite to him？”I asked.

“Why not？”inquired nay friend.“Why should I let him how I’m going to act？”

2. Snubs him， and the merest suspicion of unpopularity in any quarter rouses to bitterness.

3. To let determine whether we shall rude or gracious， elated or depressed， is to relinquish control over our personalities， which is ultimately we possess.

佳句翻譯

1. 朋友的舉動是主動待人，而我們大多數都是被動的回應。

2. 他拒絕以怨抱怨，那樣他將不再是自己行為的主宰。

3. 要做到平心靜氣，我們就要主宰自己的行為和態度。

短語應用

1. He has a sense of inner balance which is lacking in most of us； he knows who he is， what he stands for， how he should behave.

stand for：代表；象征

2. He refuses to return incivility from incivility， because then he would no longer be in command of his own conduct.

be in command of：擅長