Butterfly Kisses

佚名/Anonymous

“你今天真漂亮。”每天早晨，新婚的丈夫都會對我說這句話。

只要照一下鏡子，我就會知道此話與事實相去甚遠。

鏡中的我很瘦，笑吟吟地望著鏡子。頭發雜亂，沒有化妝，而且我還感到自己早晨的口氣并不清新。

“騙人。”我大聲地喊道，笑了。

我通常都是這樣的反應。母親的第一個丈夫很粗暴，他言語和肢體上的凌虐使母親和她的兩個孩子不得不離開，去尋找一個安全的地方。一天，這個男人拿著玫瑰花來到母親家門前。進門后，他卻用玫瑰花狠狠地毆打她，并占了她的便宜。9個月后，母親生下一個重9英磅13盎司的女嬰，那就是我。

從小到大，我所聽到的那些刻薄言語逐漸在我心中扎了根，因此我很難把自己看成一個有用的人。結婚兩年后，丈夫擁抱著我，說我很漂亮，對此，我感到很意外。

我說：“謝謝你。”

鏡中的我還是那個瘦瘦的、有著黑褐色頭發的女孩，但不管怎樣，那句溫暖的話語最終在我心中開了花。

多年過去了，丈夫的頭發已變得花白，我也不再那么瘦弱。上星期的一個早晨，醒來時我發現丈夫正與我臉對臉，我們靠得那么近，不過幾英寸。

我問道：“你在干什么？”

我捂住嘴，不想讓他聞到早晨我那并不清新的口氣。他低下頭吻了我的臉。

“做我每天都做的事。”他回答說。

每天早晨我還在睡覺的時候，丈夫就要離開家，所以我們早晨根本沒有時間交談，可是我從不知道他每天早晨都會對我說他愛我，哪怕當時我還在熟睡之中。他走后，我打了個滾兒，抱著枕頭，想象著自己張著嘴輕輕打鼾的樣子，忍不住笑了。

這是一個怎樣的男人啊！他了解我的過去，并一直陪在我身邊，看著我從一個自卑的女孩成長為一個自信的女人、一位母親，同時也是一位成功的演說家和作家。

然而，我并不知道他是否清楚自己在我這一系列的蛻變中所扮演的角色。從小到大，那些刻薄的話曾深深刺痛我的靈魂，而他的話對我的觸動更大。

我打算今年的結婚紀念日早點起床，我想告訴理查德我有多愛他。他可能會在照鏡子時，發現自己又重了一磅或兩磅，或是希望某天他的頭發能重新變黑變卷；而我所看到的他，永遠是那個能看透我、發現連我自己都無法看到的優點的人，那個甚至在結婚23年后每天依然給我輕輕的吻的人。

My newlywed husband said the same thing every morning. "You're beautiful today."

One glance in the mirror revealed that it was far from the truth.

A skinny girl with mashed hair on one side of her head and no makeup smiled back at me.I could feel my sticky morning breath.

"Liar." I shot back with a grin.

It was my usual response.My mother's first husband was not a kind man and his verbal and physical abuse forced her and her two children to find a safe place.He showed up on her doorstep one day with roses.She let him in and he beat her with those roses and took advantage of her.Nine months later she gave birth to a 9 lb.13 oz.baby girl—me.

The harsh words we heard growing up took root.I had trouble seeing myself as someone of value.I had been married two years when I surprised myself.My husband wrapped his arms around me and told me I was beautiful.

"Thank you." I said.

The same thin girl with the mousy brown hair still stared back at me in the mirror， but somehow the words had finally blossomed in my heart.

A lot of years have passed.My husband has grey in his hair.I'm no longer skinny.Last week I woke up and my husband's face was inches from mine.

"What are you doing？" I asked.

I covered my mouth， trying to hide my morning breath.He reached down and kissed my face.

"What I do every morning." he said.

He leaves in the early hours of the morning while I sleep.I miss our morning conversations， but I had not realized that he continued to tell me that he loved me even while I slept.When he left， I rolled over and hugged my pillow.I envisaged the picture of me lightly snoring with my mouth open and giggled.

What a man！ My husband understands my past.He's been beside me as I've grown from an unsure young girl to a confident woman， mother， speaker and author.

But I'm not sure that he understands the part he played in that transition.The words I heard growing up pierced my soul， yet his words pierced even deeper.

This Anniversary Day I plan to wake early.I wants to tell Richard how much I love him.He may look in the mirror and see an extra pound or two， or wish for the day when his hair was dark and curly， but all I'll see is the man who saw something in me when I couldn't see it myself， and who leaves butterfly kisses， even after twenty-three years of marriage.