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第117章

  • Zanoni
  • Edward Bulwer Lytton
  • 3946字
  • 2016-03-03 11:04:45

I have just looked on her in sleep,--I have heard her breathe my name.Alas! that which is so sweet to others has its bitterness to me; for I think how soon the time may come when that sleep will be without a dream,--when the heart that dictates the name will be cold, and the lips that utter it be dumb.What a twofold shape there is in love! If we examine it coarsely,--if we look but on its fleshy ties, its enjoyments of a moment, its turbulent fever and its dull reaction,--how strange it seems that this passion should be the supreme mover of the world; that it is this which has dictated the greatest sacrifices, and influenced all societies and all times; that to this the loftiest and loveliest genius has ever consecrated its devotion; that, but for love, there were no civilisation, no music, no poetry, no beauty, no life beyond the brute's.

But examine it in its heavenlier shape,--in its utter abnegation of self; in its intimate connection with all that is most delicate and subtle in the spirit,--its power above all that is sordid in existence; its mastery over the idols of the baser worship; its ability to create a palace of the cottage, an oasis in the desert, a summer in the Iceland,--where it breathes, and fertilises, and glows; and the wonder rather becomes how so few regard it in its holiest nature.What the sensual call its enjoyments, are the least of its joys.True love is less a passion than a symbol.Mejnour, shall the time come when I can speak to thee of Viola as a thing that was?

...

Extract from Letter III.

Knowest thou that of late I have sometimes asked myself, "Is there no guilt in the knowledge that has so divided us from our race?" It is true that the higher we ascend the more hateful seem to us the vices of the short-lived creepers of the earth,--the more the sense of the goodness of the All-good penetrates and suffuses us, and the more immediately does our happiness seem to emanate from him.But, on the other hand, how many virtues must lie dead in those who live in the world of death, and refuse to die! Is not this sublime egotism, this state of abstraction and reverie,--this self-wrapped and self-dependent majesty of existence, a resignation of that nobility which incorporates our own welfare, our joys, our hopes, our fears with others? To live on in no dread of foes, undegraded by infirmity, secure through the cares, and free from the disease of flesh, is a spectacle that captivates our pride.And yet dost thou not more admire him who dies for another? Since I have loved her, Mejnour, it seems almost cowardice to elude the grave which devours the hearts that wrap us in their folds.I feel it,--the earth grows upon my spirit.Thou wert right; eternal age, serene and passionless, is a happier boon than eternal youth, with its yearnings and desires.Until we can be all spirit, the tranquillity of solitude must be indifference.

...

Extracts from Letter IV.

I have received thy communication.What! is it so? Has thy pupil disappointed thee? Alas, poor pupil! But--...

(Here follow comments on those passages in Glyndon's life already known to the reader, or about to be made so, with earnest adjurations to Mejnour to watch yet over the fate of his scholar.)...

But I cherish the same desire, with a warmer heart.My pupil!

how the terrors that shall encompass thine ordeal warn me from the task! Once more I will seek the Son of Light.

...

Yes; Adon-Ai, long deaf to my call, at last has descended to my vision, and left behind him the glory of his presence in the shape of Hope.Oh, not impossible, Viola,--not impossible, that we yet may be united, soul with soul!

Extract from Letter V.--(Many months after the last.)Mejnour, awake from thine apathy,--rejoice! A new soul will be born to the world,--a new soul that shall call me father.Ah, if they for whom exist all the occupations and resources of human life,--if they can thrill with exquisite emotion at the thought of hailing again their own childhood in the faces of their children; if in that birth they are born once more into the holy Innocence which is the first state of existence; if they can feel that on man devolves almost an angel's duty, when he has a life to guide from the cradle, and a soul to nurture for the heaven,--what to me must be the rapture to welcome an inheritor of all the gifts which double themselves in being shared! How sweet the power to watch, and to guard,--to instil the knowledge, to avert the evil, and to guide back the river of life in a richer and broader and deeper stream to the paradise from which it flows!

And beside that river our souls shall meet, sweet mother.Our child shall supply the sympathy that fails as yet; and what shape shall haunt thee, what terror shall dismay, when thy initiation is beside the cradle of thy child!

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