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第1章 為樂趣而生活Are We Having Fun Yet

佚名/Anonymous

我們都被洗腦了!我們被灌輸了這樣的“職業道德”:“工作(和忍受)到生命的最后一刻,如果你不能幸運地活到退休的話。我們沒有時間浪費在無聊的事情上。我們有體現自身價值的責任。我們一定要認真而努力地工作,在事業上進步,賺更多的錢,并把賺錢和事業進步看做生活的首要目標。”我希望變更自己的人生計劃。我知道,做自己感興趣的事,我會做得很好;做自己憎惡的事,我會做得一塌糊涂;在壓力下工作,通常會事倍功半;在輕松的環境中做,同樣的工作卻會事倍功半。我們可以改變生活中衡量某事是否該做的標準。我們需要捫心自問的不應是“它是否會賺大錢或能否讓事業更上一層樓”,而是“我對這些感興趣嗎?這件事有意思嗎?我要大干一番嗎?”如果你不能肯定地回答這些問題,那么,這些很有可能就不是你該做的事情!如果是諸如納稅、洗碗等你必須做的事情,解決的辦法就是找別人代你做,你不喜歡做的事情自然有人喜歡做。的確如此!舉個例子來說,我并非世界上最棒的家庭主婦,我討厭打掃衛生、擦地板和窗戶等家務活,可偏偏有些人喜歡這種冥想性質的工作,并能在工作圓滿完成后獲得真正的滿足。如果我雇人來做這些事,我就可以利用這些時間去做自己喜歡的事情來賺錢,這對我大有裨益。

人各有不同,不同的人適合做不同的事。某人喜歡做特定的某件事,這并不意味著你也必須要去喜歡。我所謂的“樂趣指數”可以用來幫助我們了解某一行業適合哪些人去做。判斷一件事情是否該去做,不能只憑它能否帶來物質利益和事業進步等經驗主義,而應看此事是否能給我們帶來樂趣并使我們獲得滿足感。你的工作帶給你自豪感和滿足感了嗎?你是在執行“應該”指令,還是依照“想做”的意愿呢?然而,這種程式是異常強大的。我發現,勉強自己做事的結果就是能拖則拖,沒完沒了。你留意過嗎?做自己不喜歡的事情,似乎總也做不完。反之,則如俗語所云:“樂在其中,渾然不知所謂何日。”

我們要反對舊的程式,并相信“樂趣指數”是一個流動工程。每一個小的進步,同時也是一個大的飛躍。每一步都會淡化你對生活的不滿情緒,強化你的自愛、自我認同和自尊感,讓你更易感知生活中的樂趣。不論何時,你都不能忽視這種內在激勵。否則,你會日益陷入自厭與自責的泥潭,再次感到消沉沒落。每一次失望都會強化心中的那個信念:別人的愿望比自己的更加重要。于是,你內在的欲求便會再次被壓抑到最低位置。但是,這就是你的生活!為何要讓他人指示你“應該”怎樣生活呢?問問你自己,你想怎樣規劃自己的人生!聆聽內心的聲音,它會告訴你什么會真正充實和滿足你。要知道,你才是自己生活的主宰者!畢竟,這是你的生活,不是嗎?

We’ve all been brainwashed!We were all taught the work ethic!“Work(and suffer)till you die,or if you’re lucky retire.We don’t have time to waste on frivolities.We have responsibilities to fulfill.We have to be serious,work hard,rise in our career,make lots of money,and make earning money and advancing in our career a priority.”I wish to change that programming in my life.I know that when I do the things I enjoy doing,things work out better for me.I know that when I do something against my will,against my heart,it doesn’t work out well.I know that stressing myself out to try to get a job done usually takes twice as long as taking time out and doing that same task at some other time in a relaxed manner.We can change the criteria by which we decide what to do in our lives.Instead of“Will it bring in lots of money or advance my career”,we need to ask ourselves,“Will I enjoy doing this?Will this be fun?Am I looking forward to getting started on this?”If you can’t answer“yes”to these questions,then quite possibly this is not the task for you!If it is something that must be done,i.e.taxes,dishes,etc,the solution is to find someone else to do them for you.There are some people who will enjoy and love to do what you prefer not to do.Really!For example,I am not the world’s best housekeeper.

I do not really enjoy cleaning,washing floors,windows,etc.Yet there are some people who enjoy the meditative aspect of this work and who really get satisfaction from a job well done.It is to my benefit to pay someone to do this work so I can take that time earning money doing things that I enjoy.We are all very different and different things appeal to each one of us.Just because someone else enjoys a particular thing does not mean that you must.We can trust what I call the“fun index”to assist us in knowing if a particular action is the one for us.We can break away from the rule of thumb that judges things by whether they bring money or career advancement.We can change that to making our decisions based on whether an action will bring us pleasure and personal satisfaction.Does the work you do leave you feeling proud and pleased with yourself?Are you following the voice of“should”s or the one of“want to”?Yet,the programming is strong.I find myself struggling over a task and it ends up dragging itself out.Have you noticed that the things that you dislike doing are the ones that seem to take forever to get done?

As for the opposite viewpoint,well as the saying goes,“Time flies when you’re having fun!”Learning to go against that old programming and trusting the“fun index”is an ongoing project.Every small step is,at the same time,a big leap.Each step will move you away from dissatisfaction with your life and closer to self-love,selfacceptance,self-esteem and joy in your everyday existence.Anytime you ignore that inner prompting,

you accumulate self-loathing and disappointment in your being.Your inner child once again feels letdown and unimportant.Each letdown reinforce the inner child’s belief that everybody else’s wishes are more important than its own.Once again its desires are relegated to the lowest priority on the list.

Yet,it’s your life!Why let someone else dictate how you“should”live it?Ask yourself what steps you want to take!Listen to the voice within which will tell you what would really make you feel fulfilled and satisfied.You are the boss of your life!After all,it’s yours,isn’t it?

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