從本書獲得最大教益的九條建議

1.如果你想通過本書獲得最大教益，有一個必不可少的條件，一個比任何規則或技術都重要的基本條件。除非你具備了這種基本條件，否則即使再多的規則也毫無意義。假如你真的具備這種異常重要的天資，那么你將創造出奇跡，而不必去讀書中提出來的最大限度地獲益的建議。

這種奇妙的條件是什么？那就是深入學習的強烈欲望，一種提高你的為人處世能力的決心。

如何才能使這種欲望獲得滋長的營養呢？那就是經常性地提醒自己這些原則對你多么重要。你可以不斷地想象，如果能夠自如地應用這些規則，將會使你的生活變得更加富有，更加多彩，更加快樂充實。要一而再再而三地對自己說：“我之所以受人歡迎，我之所以幸福，我的收入之所以增加，大部分都是因為我的為人處世的技巧。”

2.首先快速閱讀完每一章，以獲得整體概念。然后你可能會急著讀下一章，但是不要這樣做——除非你只是為了消遣。如果你是為了提高自己的為人處世技巧，那么你應該再返回去，將讀過的內容再詳細閱讀。這才是既省時間又能

4.Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in your hand. When you come across a suggestion that you feel you can use, draw a line beside it. If it is a four-star suggestion, then underscore every sentence or highlight it, or mark it with “****.” Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far easier to review rapidly.

5. I knew a woman who had been office manager for a large insurance concern for fifteen years. Every month, she read all the insurance contracts her company had issued that month. Yes, she read many of the same contracts over month after month, year after year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind.

I once spent almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I had to keep going back over it from time to time in order to remember what I had written in my own book. The rapidity with which we forget is astonishing.

So, if you want to get a real, lasting benefit out of this book, don't imagine that skimming through it once will suffice. After reading it thoroughly, you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every month.Keep it on your desk in front of you every day.Glance through it often.Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich possibilities for improvement that still lie in the offing.Remember that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a constant and vigorous campaign of review and application. There is no other way.

6.Bernard Shaw once remarked, “If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.” Shaw was right.Learning is an active process. We learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are studying in this book, do something about them.Apply these rules at every opportunity. If you don't you will forget them quickly.Only

取得效果的好辦法。

3.閱讀的時候經常停下來，思考自己所讀的內容。還要問自己什么時候、如何運用各項建議。

4.閱讀時手里拿一支筆。當遇到一條你認為可以采用的建議時，就在旁邊畫一條線。如果這是一條極妙的建議，那么你還要在句子的下面劃一道線或星號。這將使你的閱讀更有意思，也更容易快速復習。

5.我認識一位女士，她曾在某家大保險公司擔任經理達15年之久。她每個月都要翻看公司當月簽訂的保險合同。是的，她每個月、每年都會這樣翻看同樣的保險合同。為什么她要這樣做呢？因為經驗告訴她，這是讓她清楚地記住保險條款的唯一有效的方法。

有一次，我曾花了將近兩年的時間寫一本當眾演講的書。但是我發現，為了記住我在書中寫了些什么，我必須經常性地返回去看。我們遺忘的速度實在太驚人了！

所以，如果你想從本書獲得真實持久的教益，就不要以為匆匆瀏覽一遍就管用了。在仔細閱讀之后，你每個月還應該花幾個小時溫習。把它放在你每天用的桌子上，經常看看它。這樣你才會注意到深藏在你身體內部的、可以大大改進的潛能。要記住，只有通過長期深切地溫習與實踐，你才會習慣性地應用這些原則。除此之外沒有其他辦法。

knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.

You will probably find it difficult to apply these suggestions all the time. I know because I wrote the book, and yet frequently I found it difficult to apply everything I advocated. For example, when you are displeased, it is much easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try to understand the other person's viewpoint. It is frequently easier to find fault than to find praise. It is more natural to talk about what you want than to talk about what the other person wants. And so on. So, as you read this book, remember that you are not merely trying to acquire information. You are attempting to form new habits.Ah yes, you are attempting a new way of life. That will require time and persistence and daily application.

So refer to these pages often. Regard this as a working handbook on human relations; and whenever you are confronted with some specific problem—such as handling a child, winning your spouse to your way of thinking, or satisfying an irritated customer—hesitate about doing the natural thing, the impulsive thing. This is usually wrong. Instead, turn to these pages and review the paragraphs you have underscored. Then try these new ways and watch them achieve magic for you.

7. Offer your spouse, your child or some business associate a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating a certain principle.Make a lively game out of mastering these rules.

8. The president of an important Wall Street bank once described, in a talk before one of my classes, a highly efficient system he used for self-improvement. This man had little formal schooling; yet he had become one of the most important financiers in America, and

6.蕭伯納曾說：“如果你是去教某個人做某事，他永遠學不會。”他說得很對。學習是一個自動的過程，我們總是在一邊做一邊學。因此，如果你想掌握從本書學到的原則，那么只要有機會，就應該將所學知識應用到實踐中去，否則，你將很快遺忘它們。記住，只有用過的知識才會給你的腦海留下深刻的印象。

你或許會覺得，要想每時每刻都應用這些原則非常困難。我當然知道這一點。在我寫這本書的時候，我也覺得很難按照我提出來的每一項建議去做。例如，當別人令你不高興的時候，批評和斥責顯然要比了解對方的觀點更加容易。挑毛病總比稱贊要容易得多，而且談論你自己所需要的遠比談論對方所需要的要自然得多，其他的例子也很多。所以，你在讀這本書時，不要忘了你不是僅需要獲得一些知識，更需要養成一種新的習慣。你是在嘗試一種新的生活方法，這需要時間、毅力和親身實踐。

所以要經常看這本書，把它當作一本為人處世的實用手冊，無論你在什么時候遇到特殊問題——例如管教孩子、讓你的配偶同意你的觀點，或者讓一個憤怒的顧客心滿意足——都不要有沖動之舉，這通常是不對的。相反，你可以求助于本書，看你劃了重點的段落。然后試著應用這些方法，觀察它們為你創造的奇跡。

7.每次當你的配偶、孩子或同事發現你沒有遵守某一原則時，不妨給他一點錢，以示對自己的處罰。這將使得掌握這些規則成為一項有趣的游戲。

he confessed that he owed most of his success to the constant application of his homemade system. This is what he does, I'll put it in his own words as accurately as I can remember.

“For years I have kept an engagement book showing all the appointments I had during the day. My family never made any plans for me on Saturday night, for the family knew that I devoted a part of each Saturday evening to the illuminating process of self-examination and review and appraisal. After dinner I went off by myself, opened my engagement book, and thought over all the interviews, discussions and meetings that had taken place during the week. I asked myself:

‘What mistakes did I make that time?'‘What did I do that was right—and in what way could I have improved my performance?'

‘What lessons can I learn from that experience?'

“I often found that this weekly review made me very unhappy. I was frequently astonished at my own blunders. Of course, as the years passed, these blunders became less frequent. Sometimes I was inclined to pat myself on the back a little after one of these sessions. This system of self-analysis, self-education, continued year after year, did more for me than any other one thing I have ever attempted.

“It helped me improve my ability to make decisions—and it aided me enormously in all my contacts with people. I cannot recommend it too highly.”

Why not use a similar system to check up on your application of the principles discussed in this book? If you do, two things will result.

First, you will find yourself engaged in an educational process that is both intriguing and priceless.

8.華爾街一家重要銀行的董事長曾在我的一個班上發表過一次演講，介紹他是如何自我完善的。這個人接受的正規教育很少，但他現在是美國最重要的金融家之一。他認為自己之所以成功，大部分都應該歸功于經常運用自我克制。下面就是他的做法，我憑記憶用他自己的話敘述如下：

“我這些年一直保存著一本約會的小冊子，上面記錄了我所有的約會。我的家人從不會在星期六晚上與我訂約會，因為他們知道我會在每個星期六的晚上進行自省。晚飯之后，我一個人關在房間，翻開我的約會簿，回想這一周所有的會談、討論及集會。我會問自己：

“‘我做錯了什么？’‘我做的哪些是對的？怎樣才能有所改進？’

“‘從這些經驗中我能獲得什么教訓？’

“我常常發現，這種每周的自我反省讓我很不愉快。我對自己的錯誤常常感到痛心。但是幾年之后，這些錯誤也就不怎么出現了。現在，有時我在這種自省之后，會感到極大的寬慰。這樣長期堅持下來，這種自我分析、自我教育的方法，比我所試用過的任何方法都更有效。

“這種方法幫助我增強了決斷能力——對我的為人處世也有很大的幫助。我非常樂意推薦這種方法。”

為什么不用類似的方法，來檢驗你是如何應用本書所介紹的原則的？如果你

Second, you will find that your ability to meet and deal with people will grow enormously.

9. You will find at the end of this book several blank pages on which you should record your triumphs in the application of these principles.Be specific. Give names, dates, results.Keeping such a record will inspire you to greater efforts; and how fascinating these entries will be when you chance upon them some evening years from now!

In order to get the most out of this book:

a. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of human relations.

b. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.

c. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.

d. Underscore each important idea.

e. Review this book each month.

f. Apply these principles at every opportunity.Use this volume as a working handbook to help you solve your daily problems.

g. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friends a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.

h. Check up each week on the progress you are making.Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.

i. Keep notes in the back of this book showing how and when you have applied these principles.

這樣做，就會有兩種效果：

第一，你將會發現，自己所接受的是一種有趣而寶貴的教育。

第二，你將會發現，自己的為人處世能力將大大提高。

9.你將會發現，本書最后有幾頁白紙，你可以寫下運用這些原則所取得的成果。注意將姓名、日期和結果寫清楚。這樣將會激勵你更加努力。當你在多年之后再翻看這些時，將會覺得其樂無窮！

為了從本書獲得最大教益：

a.培養一種深刻而強烈的、掌握為人處世原則的欲望。

b.在閱讀下一章之前，將前面的章節讀兩遍。

c.閱讀的時候，要經常停下來問自己，如何才能運用各項建議。

d.在每個重要的觀點旁邊做記號。

e.每個月溫習本書一次。

f.抓住每一個可以運用這些原則的機會。將本書作為幫助你解決日常問題的實用手冊。

g.每當你違反某一項原則而被你的朋友抓到時，給他一點錢，使你的學習成為一種活潑有趣的游戲。

h.每個星期對你的進步檢查一次。問自己曾犯了什么錯，有什么改進，有什么教訓，將來該如何做。

i.在書后面做記錄，寫下你是在什么時候以及如何應用這些原則的。