點滴使愛延續 The Best Kind of Love

安妮特·帕克斯曼·鮑思/Annetle Paxman Bowen

I have a friend who is falling in love.She honestly claims the sky is bluer.Mozart moves her to tears.She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl.“Im young again!”she shouts exuberantly.

As my friend raves on about her new love,Ive taken a good look at my old one.My husband of almost 20 years,Scott,has gained 15 pounds.Once a marathon runner,he now runs only down hospital halls.His hairline is receding and his body shows the signs of long working hours and too many candy bars.Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.When my friend asked me“What will make this love last?”I ran through all the obvious reasons:commitment,shared interests,unselfishness,physical attraction,communication.Yet theres more.We still have fun.Spontaneous good times.Yesterday,after slipping the rubber band off the rolled up newspaper,Scott flipped it playfully at me:this led to an all-out war.Last Saturday at the grocery,we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first.Even washing dishes can be a blast.We enjoy simply being together.And there are surprises.One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note,then another,until I reached the walk-in closet.I opened the door to find Scott holding a“pot of gold”（my cooking kettle）and the“treasure”of a gift package.Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.There is understanding.I understand why he must play basketball with the guys.And he understands why,once a year,I must get away from the house,the kids-and even him-to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.There is sharing.Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens-we also share ideas.Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel.Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction,he had read the novel on the plane.He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after Id read it.

There is forgiveness.When Im embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties,Scott forgives me.When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market,I gave him a hug and said,“It’s okay.It’s only money.”

There is sensitivity.Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me It’s been a tough day.After he spent some time with the kids,I asked him what happened.He told me about a 60-year-old woman who’d had a stroke.He wept as he recalled the womans husband standing beside her bed,caressing her hand.How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover?I shed a few tears myself.Because of the medical crisis.Because there were still people who have been married 40 years.Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.

There is faith.Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous battle with cancer.On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after divorce.On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimer’s disease on her father-in-law’s personality.On Friday a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father had died.I hung up the phone and thought;this is too much heartache for one week.Through my tears,as I went out to run some errands,I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window.I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played.I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbor’s house.The bride,dressed in satin and lace,tossed her bouquet to her cheering friends.That night,I told my husband about these events.We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows.It was enough to keep us going.Finally,there is knowing.I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night;he’ll be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box.He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head;I’ll lock us out of the house at a regular basis,and I will also eat the last chocolate.I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable.No,the sky is not bluer:it’s just a familiar hue.We don’t feel particularly young:we’ve experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom,taking its toll on our bodies,and created our memories.

I hope we’ve got what it takes to make our love last.As a bride,I had Scott’s wedding band engraved with Robert Brownings line“Grow old along with me!”Were following those instructions.

我的一個朋友正處于熱戀中，她幸福地坦言，戀愛時，天空似乎都變得更藍了。莫扎特的音樂都能讓她感動得流淚。戀愛使她輕了15磅，看起來像個封面女郎。“我又年輕了！”她興奮地喊道。

在朋友對她的新歡贊不絕口時，我又重新審視我的舊愛。丈夫斯科特和我結婚快20年了，其間，他的體重增加了15磅，曾是馬拉松選手的他，如今卻只能從樓上跑到樓下的醫院大廳。他的發際線不斷后移，從他的體形可以看出，他經常超負荷地工作，并且甜食吃得太多。但約會時，餐桌對面的他仍能向我發出種種眼神，而我則心領神會，結賬回家。當朋友問我“是什么使你們的愛持續至今”時，我毫不猶豫地列舉了一些顯性因素：承諾、共同的興趣愛好、無私、身體吸引力，再有就是溝通。當然，還有其他諸多因素。我們倆的相處至今仍是其樂融融，一些歡樂時光常常不期而至。昨天，斯科特把捆報紙的橡皮筋拉了下來，然后調皮地彈向我，一場“戰爭”由此拉開了帷幕；上周六在雜貨店，我們把購物單一分為二，比賽看誰能先搶購完，到達收銀臺；即便是一起洗碗，我們也要嬉鬧一番。只要在一起，我們就很開心。我們常會給對方帶來驚喜。一次，我回到家，發現門上貼著一張小紙條，紙條指引我找到了另一張紙條，接著又是一張，最后，在紙條的指引下，我走到小儲藏室，推開門，發現斯科特站在里面，手里捧著“金罐子”（我的蒸煮鍋），還拿著一個裝著“財富”的大禮包。有時我也會把給他的紙條貼在鏡子上，并偷偷地在他的枕頭下藏一個小禮物。我們都理解對方。我理解他為什么一定要和老朋友出去打籃球。而他也理解我為什么每年都要離開他和孩子，去與姐妹們聚會，連續幾天，無休止地聊天說笑。我們同甘共苦。我們不僅彼此分擔家事的憂愁和身為父母的責任，而且也分享各自的見解。上個月，斯科特參加了一個會議，給我帶回一本很厚的歷史小說。雖然他比較喜歡驚怵和科幻小說，但他還是在飛機上把它讀完了。他說自己這樣做是為了在我讀完后，能和我交流見解。聽了這番話，我感動不已。

我們彼此諒解。當我在派對喧鬧而胡鬧時，斯科特原諒了我，而當他用我們的一點積蓄炒股賠了錢，并向我坦白時，我抱緊他，安慰道：“沒關系，錢乃身外之物。”

我們心有靈犀。上周，他回家，一進門我便從他的神情看出，他今天過得很不開心。他逗孩子們玩了一會兒后，我問他怎么了。他告訴我，一個60歲的老太太得了中風。當回想到病人的丈夫站在床邊愛撫她的手時，他哭了。他實在不忍心告訴病人的丈夫，與他共度了四十年的妻子可能永遠都不能康復了！我的眼淚也不由自主地流了下來，為那可惡的病魔，為這世間還有維持40年的婚姻，也為丈夫這么多年來在醫院目睹了無數垂死的病人后還能有如此的同情心，還能感動！

我們都有堅定的信念。上周四，一個朋友到我家來，向我訴說了她的憂慮，她擔心丈夫會逐漸喪失與癌癥抗爭的勇氣和信心。周三，我和一個朋友吃午飯，她正努力使離婚后的生活步入正軌。周四，一個鄰居打電話告訴我，可怕的老年癡呆癥正困擾著她公公。周五，小時候的一個玩伴打來長途電話，告訴我他父親去世的噩耗。我放下電話，心想，一周內竟連續發生這么多令人揪心的悲劇。淚水模糊了我的雙眼，我走出家門，想做點什么，卻發現窗外橙色的劍蘭花竟開了。兒子和伙伴們玩耍的歡聲笑語傳到我耳邊，鄰居正在舉辦婚宴，新娘子穿著緞面且鑲有蕾絲花邊的婚紗，正把花束拋向歡呼雀躍的朋友。那一夜，我把這一切都講給了丈夫聽。我們相互慰藉，人生輪回，悲歡離合總會伴隨我們。我們將這樣相濡以沫地生活下去。最后一個原因，我們互相了解。我知道斯科特每晚都會把換洗的衣服扔向洗衣簍，卻總也扔不進去，我知道多數約會他都會遲到，因而會吃掉剩下的最后一塊巧克力。他知道我睡覺時喜歡用枕頭把頭蒙起來，我時常忘帶鑰匙，進不了家門，而我也會吃掉最后一塊巧克力。我猜想，或許是舒適的感覺讓我們的愛延續至今。不，天空并沒有變得更藍，跟昨天的一樣，它仍是我們熟悉的顏色；我們也不再有年輕的感覺；我們經歷的太多了，而正是這些經歷促使我們成長，讓我們更理性；我們曾為此而付出過代價，也因此收獲了更多的回憶。

我希望我們已經得到了使愛情延續的秘訣。結婚時，斯科特在我的戒指上刻上了羅伯特·布朗寧的詩詞“陪我到老！”我們始終恪守這一誓言。

心靈小語

愛讓我們永遠擁有一顆年輕的心。

詞匯筆記

rave[reiv]v.胡言亂語；憤怒地說；咆哮；怒喊

Andrew raved all night in his fever.

安德魯發燒時整夜地說胡話。

confess[k?nfes]v.承認；供認（錯誤或罪行）

The criminal soon confessed.

罪犯很快就供認了。

sensitivity[,sens?tiviti:]n.敏感；敏感度

Such is the sensitivity of the information that only two people

are allowed to know it.

這信息極為敏感，只允許兩個人知道。

errand[er?nd]n.差事

I have a few errands to do in the town.

我在城里有些差事要辦。

小試身手

我們相互慰藉，人生輪回，悲歡離合總會伴隨我們。我們將這樣相濡以沫地生活下去。

我們經歷的太多了，而正是這些經歷促使我們成長，讓我們更理性。我們曾為此而付出過代價，也因此收獲了更多的回憶。

短語家族

I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbors house.

catch sight of：一下子看到

Weve experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom,taking its toll on our bodies,and created our memories.Contribute to：捐獻；促成