The mai-baap manager

The Indian manager has a unique role to play, that of mai-baap (mother-father, that is, parents). Many team members also expect the manager to play almost a parental role. I, personally, have had people walk into my office and open up with their family and personal issues, as personal as spouse abuse and divorce. Some of the expectations were to simply open up and lighten their hearts, perhaps to explain the stress they were going through, which may have had a dent on productivity, or perhaps to get advice from someone who has seen more of the world. This will certainly not happen in the western world.

A manager, in the Indian context, may have to bear the expectations of a guide and a philosopher.

Sometimes, managers can also become like mai-baap, and behave like parents. They indulge in probing team members on personal matters and throw in the free advice. They form opinions about people based on what they hear about the employee's personal life and not just based on the quality of work done.

Many a times, there may be conversations which are not that personal, like someone contemplating higher studies, or a change in career, or getting involved in volunteer activity, sometimes even life goals like starting their own company one day, or going on a world tour on a bike.

It's perfectly fine to hear people out but be discreet before you give them your opinion on such matters and whether you can support something like that or not, from an organizational perspective.

Sometimes managers tend to get the idea that they control and impact every aspect of an employee's life and behave like a mai-baap. Good advice to such managers is to not behave like a parent. Remember your boundaries and stay away from personal matters of others in the organization. While you have to hear people out sometimes, never initiate or encourage a very personal conversation. As smart as you may be, you aren't qualified to handle it and from an organizational perspective, you are better off not knowing those details. There isn't anything you are supposed to do about it.

All said and done, there is an expectation of a mai-baap role to be played.