Chapter 1 Friendship: Definition and Origins

1.Definition of Friendship

Friendship is essential for the human race.The very existence and survival of the human society require not only certain physical conditions but also the spiritual glue in the form of friendship. Friendship, an indispensible virtue for any individual, is also the starting point for moral cultivation.As a value, friendship can find its origins in both Chinese and Western traditions.

If we study the etymology of “友善”（friendship or kindness）, we would find out that the two characters were used separately in ancient Chinese.The word“友”（friend; friendship）took the form of in oracle-bone writing, resembling two hands joined together in the same direction.In Shuowen Jiezi, the original Han dynasty Chinese character dictionary, the word is explained as follows:“Friends are companions; a person who is on good terms with another.”When used as a verb, “友”means to befriend, cooperate, and offer help or support.Accordingly, in ancient Chinese, “友”means two people hold hands together and help each other in a cordial manner.“善”, a compound ideograph, consisting of“羊”（literally, sheep;a symbol of auspiciousness）and“言”（literally, talk）, means nice talk or mutual blessings.As such, the word is explained as“l(fā)uck or auspiciousness”in Shuowen Jiezi.The combination of“友”and“善”literally means being as kind as a friend.

Friendship is considered as a priority in traditional Chinese culture.Mencius once said, "There is no attribute of the superior man greater than his helping men to practice virtue." In Confucianism, friendship is interpreted as two interconnected elements.Firstly，friendship is not some abstract dogma, but the external reflection of one's innate warmth.When Mencius said "The benevolent man loves others”, he meant friendship originates from the benevolence deep down.Only when a person has a benevolent heart will he be kind to others and radiate such kindness to the society at large.As such, Confucianism attaches great importance to self-cultivation.Secondly, the prerequisite of befriending others is to "put oneself in someone else's shoes”.Both Confucius（ "Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you.”）and Mencius（ "Treat with the reverence due to age the elders in your own family, so that the elders in the families of others shall be similarly treated; treat with the kindness due to youth the young in your own family, so that the young in the families of others shall be similarly treated.”）tried to emphasize the importance of empathy so as to reduce the possibility of misunderstanding or difference.In traditional Chinese culture, therefore, friendship is, first and foremost, a personal trait, or the starting point of all moral virtues.It is also regarded as a crucial norm to maintain the moral order of the society.

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Similarly, friendship is also a treasured value in the West.In ancient Greece, for example, any interaction between two people in a community was seen as friendship.In other words, friendship is the bond that connects two people.It is therefore seen as the cement for social order.According to Empedocles, a Greek pre-Socratic philosopher, all matter is made up of four elements: water, earth, air and fire.He also proposed powers called Love and Strife, which could act as forces to bring about the mixture and separation of the elements.Aristotle, another Greek philosopher, saw friendship as the precondition for a city state.Friendship, according to him, unites the city state.Furthermore, legislators preferred friendship to justice.In classic Greek philosophy, friendship implies living and doing things with friends.Nothing, in the eyes of Aristotle, represents friendship more than seeking to live together with friends.The goal of friendship in ancient Greece was to eliminate the hatred and opposition among people while enhancing the friendship and unity of the community.On that basis, Aristotle described three kinds of friendship: friendship based on goodness, friendship based on utility, and friendship based on pleasure.Goodness is an enduring quality, so friendships based on goodness tend to be long lasting.

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All in all, be it in China or the West, friendship is seen as the tie of interpersonal relationship and the ultimate goal of friendship is to achieve social harmony and general welfare.