第一卷 閨房記樂

事如春夢了無痕。

Life is like a spring dream which vanishes without a trace.

I was born in 1763, under the reign of Ch'ienlung, on the twentysecond day of the eleventh moon. The country was then in the heyday of peace and, moreover, I was born in a scholars' family, living by the side of the Ts'anglang Pavilion in Soochow. So altogether I may say the gods have been unusually kind to me. Su Tungp'o said, “Life is like a spring dream which vanishes without a trace. ” I should be ungrateful to the gods if I did not try to put my life down on record.

Since the Book of Poems begins with a poem on wedded love, I thought I would begin this book by speaking of my marital relations and then let other matters follow. My only regret is that I was not properly educated in childhood; all I know is a simple language and I shall try only to record the real facts and real sentiments. I hope the reader will be kind enough not to scrutinize my grammar, which would be like looking for brilliance in a tarnished mirror.

I was engaged in my childhood to one Miss Yü, of Chinsha, who died in her eighth year, and eventually I married a girl of the Ch'en clan. Her name was Yün and her literary name Suchen. She was my cousin,being the daughter of my maternal uncle, Hsinyü. Even in her childhood,she was a very clever girl, for while she was learning to speak, she was taught Po Chüyi's poem, The P'iP'a Player, and could at once repeat it. Her father died when she was four years old, and in the family there were only her mother (of the Chin clan) and her younger brother K'ehch'ang and herself,，being then practically destitute. When Yün grew up and had learnt needlework, she was providing for the family of three, and contrived always to pay K'ehch'ang's tuition fees punctually. One day,she picked up a copy of the poem The P'iP'a Player from a wastebasket, and from that, with the help of her memory of the lines, she learnt to read word by word. Between her needlework, she gradually learnt to write poetry. One of her poems contained the two lines:

“秋侵人影瘦，霜染菊花肥?！?/p>

“Touched by autumn, one's figure grows slender ,

Soaked in frost, the chrysanthemum blooms full. ”

When I was thirteen years old, I went with my mother to her maiden home and there we met. As we were two young innocent children, she allowed me to read her poems. I was quite struck by her talent, but feared that she was too clever to be happy. Still I could not help thinking of her all the time, and once I told my mother, “If you were to choose a girl for me, I won't marry any one except Cousin Su.”My mother also liked her being so gentle, and gave her her gold ring as a token for the betrothal.

This was on the sixteenth of the seventh moon in the year 1775.In the winter of that year, one of my girl cousins, (the daughter of another maternal uncle of mine,) was going to get married and I again accompanied my mother to her maiden home.

Yün was the same age as myself, but ten months older, and as we had been accustomed to calling each other“elder sister”and“younger brother”from childhood, I continued to call her“Sister Su.”

At this time the guests in the house all wore bright dresses, but Yün alone was clad in a dress of quiet colour, and had on a new pair of shoes. I noticed that the embroidery on her shoes was very fine, and learnt that it was her own work, so that I began to realize that she was gifted at other things, too, besides reading and writing.

Of a slender figure, she had drooping shoulders and a rather long neck,slim but not to the point of being skinny. Her eyebrows were arched and in her eyes there was a look of quick intelligence and soft refinement. The only defect was that her two front teeth were slightly inclined forward, which was not a mark of good omen. There was an air of tenderness about her which completely fascinated me.

I asked for the manuscripts of her poems and found that they consisted mainly of couplets and three or four lines, being unfinished poems, and I asked her the reason why. She smiled and said,“I have had no one to teach me poetry, and wish to have a good teacher-friend who could help me to finish these poems.”I wrote playfully on the label of this book of poems the words: “Beautiful Lines in an Embroidered Case,”and did not realize that in this case lay the cause of her short life.

That night, when I came back from outside the city, whither I had accompanied my girl cousin the bride, it was already midnight, and I felt very hungry and asked for something to eat. A maid-servant gave me some dried dates, which were too sweet for me. Yün secretly pulled me by the sleeve into her room, and I saw that she had hidden="hidden" away a bowl of warm congee and some dishes to go with it. I was beginning to take up the chopsticks and eat it with great gusto when Yün's boy cousin Yüheng called out,“Sister Su, come quick!，”Yün quickly shut the door and said,“I am very tired and going to bed.” Yüheng forced the door open and, seeing the situation, he said with a malicious smile at Yün,，“So, that's it! A while ago I asked for congee and you said there was no more, but you really meant to keep it for your future husband.”Yün was greatly embarrassed and everybody laughed at her, including the servants.On my part, I rushed away home with an old servant in a state of excitement.

Since the affair of the congree happened, she always avoided me when I went to her home, and I knew that she was only trying to avoid being made a subject of ridicule.

Touched by autumn one's figur grows slender , Soaked in frost, the chrysanthemum blooms full.

Our wedding took place on the twenty-second of the first moon in 1780. When she came to my home on that night, I found that she had the same slender figure as before. When her bridal veil was lifted, we looked at each other and smiled. After the drinking of the customary twin cups between bride and groom, we sat down together at dinner and I secretly held her hand under the table, which was warm and small, and my heart was palpitating. I asked her to eat and learnt that she was in her vegetarian fast, which she had been keeping for several years already. I found that the time when she began her fast coincided with my small-pox illness, and said to her laughingly,“Now that my face is clean and smooth without pock-marks, my dear sister, will you break your fast?” Yün looked at me with a smile and nodded her head.

As my own sister is going to get married on the twenty-fourth, only two days later, and as there was to be a national mourning and no music was to be allowed on the twenty-third, my sister was given a send-off dinner on the night of the twenty-second, my wedding day, and Yün was present at table. I was playing the finger-guessing game with the bride's companion in the bridal chamber and, being a loser all the time,I fell asleep drunk like a fish. When I woke up the next morning, Yün had not quite finished her morning toilet.

That day, we were kept busy entertaining guests and towards evening, music was played. After midnight, on the morning of the twenty-fourth, I, as the bride's brother, sent my sister away and came back towards three o'clock. The room was then pervaded with quietness,bathed in the silent glow of the candle-lights. I went in and saw Yün's bride's companion was taking a nap down in front of our bed on the floor, while Yün had taken off her bridal costume, but had not yet gone to bed. She was bending her beautiful white neck before the bright candles, quite absorbed reading a book. I patted her on the shoulder and said,“Sister, why are you still working so hard? You must be quite tired with the full days we've had.”

Quickly Yün turned her head and stood up saying,“I was going to bed when I opened the book-case and saw this book and have not been able to leave it since. Now my sleepiness is all gone. I have heard of the name of Western Chamber for a long time, but today I see it for the first time. It is really the work of a genius, only I feel that its style is a little bit too biting.”

“Only geniuses can write a biting style,”I smiled and said.

The bride's companion asked us to go to bed, but we told her to shut the door and retire first. I began to sit down by Yün's side and we joked together like old friends after a long period of separation. I touched her breast in fun and felt that her heart was palpitating too.“Why is Sister's heart palpitating like that?”I bent down and whispered in her ear. Yün looked back at me with a smile and our souls were carried away in a mist of passion. Then we went to bed, when all too soon the dawn came.

As a bride, Yün was very quiet at first. She was never sullen or displeased,and when people spoke to her,she merely smiled. She was respectful towards her superiors and kindly towards those under her. Whatever she did was done well, and it was difficult to find fault with her. When she saw the grey dawn shining in through the window,she would get up and dress herself as if she had been commanded to do so.“Why?” I asked,“You don't have to be afraid of gossip，like the days when you gave me that warm congee.”“ I was made a laughing-stock on account of that bowl of congee,”she replied,“but now I am not afraid of people's talk; I only fear that our parents might think their daughter-inlaw lazy.”

Although I wanted her to lie in bed longer, I could not help admiring her virtue, and so got up myself, too, at the same time with her.And so every day we rubbed shoulders together and clung to each other like an object and its shadow, and the love between us was something that surpassed the language of words.

So the time passed happily and the honeymoon was too soon over. At this time, my father Chiafu was in the service of the Kueich'i district government, and he sent a special messenger to bring me there, for, it should be noted that, during this time, I was under the tutorship of Chao Shengtsai of Wulin [Hangchow]. Chao was a very kindly teacher and today the fact that I can write at all is due entirely to his credit.

Now, when I came home for the wedding, it had been agreed that as soon as the ceremonies were over, I should go back at once to my father's place in order to resume my studies. So when I got this news, I did not know what to do. I was afraid Yün might break into tears, but on the other hand she tried to look cheerful and comforted me and urged me to go, and packed up things for me. Only that night I noticed that she did not look quite her usual self. At the time of parting, she whispered to me,“Take good care of yourself, for there will be no one to look after you.”

When I went up on board the boat, I saw the peach and pear trees on the banks were in full bloom, but I felt like a lonely bird that had lost its companions and as if the world was going to collapse around me. As soon as I arrived, my father left the place and crossed the river for an eastward destination.

Thus three months passed, which seemed to me like ten insufferable long years. Although Yün wrote to me regularly, still for two letters that I sent her, I received only one in reply, and these letters contained only words of exhortation and the rest was filled with airy,conventional nothings, and I felt very unhappy. Whenever the breeze blew past my bamboo courtyard, or the moon shone upon my window behind the green banana leaves, I thought of her and was carried away into a region of dreams.

My teacher noticed this, and sent word to my father, saying that he would give me ten subjects for composition and let me go home. I felt like a garrison prisoner receiving his pardon.

Strange to say, when I got on to the boat and was on my way home, I felt that a quarter of an hour was like a long year. When I arrived home, I went to pay my respects to my mother and then entered my room. Yün stood up to welcome me, and we held each other's hands in silence, and it seemed then that our souls had melted away or evaporated like a mist. My ears tingled and I did not know where I was.

It was in the sixth moon, then, and the rooms were very hot. Luckily, we were next door to the Lotus Lover's Lodge of the Ts'anglang Pavilion on the east. Over the bridge, there was an open hall overlooking the water, called “After My Heart”—the reference was to an old poem：“When the water is clear,I will wash the tassels of my hat, and when the water is muddy, I will wash my feet.”By the side of the eaves, there was an old tree which spread its green shade over the window，and made the people's faces look green with it; and across the creek, you could see people passing to and fro. This was where my father used to entertain his guests inside the bamboo-framed curtains. I asked for permission from my mother to bring Yün and stay there for the summer. She stopped embroidery during the summer months because of the heat,and the whole day long, we were either reading together or discussing the ancient things, or else enjoying the moon and passing judgments on the flowers. Yün could not drink, but could take at most three cups when compelled to. I taught her literary games in which the loser had to drink. We thought there could not be a more happy life on earth than this.

One day Yün asked me,“Of all the ancient authors, which one should we regard as the master?” And I replied:“Chankuots'eh and Chuangtzǔ are noted for their agility of thought and expressiveness of style, K'uang Heng and Liu Hsiang are known for their classic severity, Ssuma Ch'ien and Pan Ku are known for their breadth of knowledge,Han Yü is known for his mellow qualities, Liu Tsungyüan for his rugged beauty, Ouyang Hsiu for his romantic abandon, and the Su's, father and sons, are known for their sustained eloquence. There are, besides,writings like the political essays of Chia Yi and Tung Chungshu, the euphuistic prose of Yü Hsin and Hsü Ling, the memorandums of Loh Chih, and others more than one can enumerate. True appreciation,however, must come from the reader himself.”

“The ancient literature,” Yün said,“depends for its appeal on depth of thought and greatness of spirit, which I am afraid it is difficult for a woman to attain. I believe, however, that I do understand something of poetry. ”

“Poetry was used,”I said,“as a literary test in the imperial examinations of the T'ang Dynasty, and people acknowledge Li Po and Tu Fu as the master poets. Which of the two do you like better?”

“Tu's poems,”she said，“are known for their workmanship and artistic refinement, while Li's poems are known for their freedom and naturalness of expression. I prefer the vivacity of Li Po to the severity of Tu Fu. ”

“Tu Fu is the acknowledged king of poets，”said I，“and he is taken by most people as their model. Why do you prefer Li Po?”

“Of course,” said she, was for perfection of form and maturity of thought, Tu is the undisputed master, but Li Po's poems have the wayward charm of a nymph. His lines come naturally like dropping petals and flowing waters, and are so much lovelier for their spontaneity. I am not saying that Tu is second to Li; only personally I feel, not that I love Tu less, but that I love Li more.”

“I say，I didn't know that you are a bosom friend of Li Po!”

“I have still in my heart another poet，Po Chüyi，who is my first tutor，as it were，and I have not been able to forget him.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Isn't he the one who wrote the poem on The P'i P'a Player?”

“This is very strange,” I laughed and said. “So Li Po is your bosom friend, Po Chüyi is your first tutor and your husband's literary name is San po. It seems that your life is always bound up with the Po's.”

“It is all right, ” Yün smiled and replied. “to have one's life bound up with the Po's, only I am afraid I shall be writing Po characters all my life.” (For in Soochow we call misspelt words“po characters”.) And we both laughed.

“Now that you know poetry.” I said，“I should like also to know your taste for fu poems.”

“The Ch'u Tz'u is, of course, the fountain head of fu poetry, but I find it difficult to understand. It seems to me that among the Han and Chin fu poets, Ssuma Hsiangju is the most sublime in point of style and diction.”

“Perhaps,”I said，“Wenchün was tempted to elope with Hsiangju not because of his ch'in music, but rather because of his fu poetry,”and we laughed again.

I am by nature unconventional and straightforward, but Yün was a stickler for forms, like the Confucian schoolmasters. Whenever I put on a dress for her or tidied up her sleeves, she would say “So much obliged” again and again, and when I passed her a towel or a fan, she would always stand up to receive it. At first I disliked this and said to her, “Do you mean to tie me down with all this ceremony? There is a proverb which says,‘One who is overcourteous is crafty.’” Yün blushed all over and said, “I am merely trying to be polite and respectful, why do you charge me with craftiness?” “True respect is in the heart, and does not require such empty forms,” said I, but Yün said, “There is no more intimate relationship than that between children and their parents. Do you mean to say that children should behave freely towards their parents and keep their respect only in their heart?” “Oh! I was only joking,” I said. “The trouble is,” said Yün, “most marital troubles begin with joking. Don't you accuse me of disrespect later, for then I shall die of grief without being able to defend myself.”Then I held her close to my breast and caressed her until she smiled. From then on our conversations were full of “I'm sorry's” and “I beg your pardon's.” And so we remained courteous to each other for twenty-three years of our married life like Liang Hung and Meng Kuang [of the Eastern Han Dynasty], and the longer we stayed together, the more passionately attached we became to each other.

Whenever we met each other in the house,，whether it be in a dark room or in a narrow corridor, we used to hold each other's hands and ask,，“Where are you going?” and we did this on the sly as if afraid that people might see us. As a matter of fact, we tried at first to avoid being seen sitting or walking together, but after a while, we did not mind it any more. When Yün was sitting and talking with somebody and saw me come, she would rise and move sideways for me to sit down together with her. All this was done naturally almost without any consciousness,and although at first we felt uneasy about it, later on it became a matter of habit. I cannot understand why all old couples must hate each other like enemies. Some people say, “If they weren't enemies, they would not be able to live together until old age.”Well,，I wonder!

On the seventh night of the seventh moon of that year, Yün prepared incense, candles and some melons and other fruits, so that we might together worship the Grandson of Heaven in the Hall called “After My Heart.” I had carved two seals with the inscription“That we might remain husband and wife from incarnation to incarnation.”I kept the seal with positive characters, while she kept the one with negative characters,to be used in our correspondence.

That night, the moon was shining beautifully and when I looked down at the creek, the ripples shone like silvery chains. We were wearing light silk dresses and sitting together with a small fan in our hands, before the window overlooking the creek. Looking up at the sky, we saw the clouds sailing through the heavens, changing at every moment into a myriad forms, and Yün said,“This moon is common to the whole universe. I wonder if there is another pair of lovers quite as passionate as ourselves looking at the same moon tonight?” And I said,“Oh! there are plenty of people who will be sitting in the cool evening and looking at the moon, and perhaps also many women enjoying and appreciating the clouds in their chambers; but when a husband and wife are looking at the moon together, I hardly think that the clouds will form the subject of their conversation.”By and by, the candle-lights went out, the moon sank in the sky, and we removed the fruits and went to bed.

The fifteenth of the seventh moon was All Souls'Day. Yün prepared a little dinner, so that we could drink together with the moon as our company, but when night came, the sky was suddenly overcast with dark clouds. Yün knitted her brow and said, “If it be the wish of God that we two should live together until there are silver threads in our hair, then the moon must come out again tonight.” On my part I felt disheartened also. As we looked across the creek, we saw will-o'-thewisps flitting in crowds hither and thither like ten thousand candle-lights,threading their way through the willows and smartweeds.

And then we began to compose a poem together, each saying two lines at a time, the first completing the couplet which the other had begun, and the second beginning another couplet for the other to finish,and after a few rhymes, the longer we kept on, the more nonsensical it became, until it was a jumble of slapdash doggerel. By this time, Yün was buried amidst tears and laughter and choking on my breast, while I felt the fragrance of the jasmine in her hair assail my nostrils. I patted her on the shoulder and said jokingly,“I thought that the jasmine was used for decoration in women's hair because it was clear and round like a pearl; I did not know that it is because its fragrance is so much finer when it is mixed with the smell of women's hair and powder. When it smells like that, even the citron cannot remotely compare with it.”Then Yün stopped laughing and said,“The citron is the gentleman among the different fragrant plants because its fragrance is so slight that you can hardly detect it; on the other hand, the jasmine is a common fellow because it borrows its fragrance partly from others. Therefore,the fragrance of the jasmine is like that of a smiling sycophant.”“Why，then，”I said,“do you keep away from the gentleman and associate with the common fellow?”And Yün replied，“But I only laugh at that gentleman who loves a common fellow.”

While we were thus bandying words about, it was already midnight, and we saw the wind had blown away the clouds in the sky and there appeared the full moon，round like a chariot wheel，and we were greatly delighted. And so we began to drink by the side of the window, but before we had tasted three cups, we heard suddenly the noise of a splash under the bridge, as if someone had fallen into the water. We looked out through the window and saw there was not a thing, for the water was as smooth as a mirror, except that we heard the noise of a duck scampering in the marshes. I knew that there was a ghost of someone who had been drowned by the side of the Ts'anglang Pavilion, but knowing that Yün was very timid, I dared not mention it to her. And Yün sighed and said, “Alas! Whence cometh this noise?” and we shuddered all over. Quickly we shut the window and carried the wine pot back into the room. The light of a rapeseed oil lamp was then burning as small as a pea, and the edges of the bed curtain hung low in the twilight, and we were shaking all over. We then made the lamplight a little brighter and went inside the bed curtain, and Yün already ran up a high fever. Soon I had a high temperature myself, and our illness dragged on for about twenty days. True it is that when the cup of happiness overflows, disaster follows, as the saying goes, and this was also an omen that we should not be able to live together until old age.

On the fifteenth of the eighth moon, or the Mid-Autumn Festival. I had just recovered from my illness. Yün had now been a bride in my home for over half a year, but still had never been to the Ts'anglang Pavilion itself next door. So I first ordered an old servant to tell the watchman not to let any visitors enter the place. Toward evening, I went with Yün and my younger sister, supported by an amah and a maidservant and led by an old attendant. We passed a bridge, entered a gate, turned eastwards and followed a zigzag path into the place, where we saw huge grottoes and abundant green trees. The Pavilion stood on the top of a hill. Going up by the steps to the top, one could look around for miles, where in the distance chimney smoke arose from the cottages against the background of clouds of rainbow hues. Over the bank, there was a grove called the “Forest by the Hill” where the high officials used to entertain their guests. Later on, the Chengyi College was erected on this spot, but it wasn't there yet. We brought a blanket which we spread on the Pavilion floor, and then sat round together,while the watchman served us tea. After a while, the moon had already arisen from behind the forest, and the breeze was playing about our sleeves, while the moon's image sparkled in the rippling water, and all worldly cares were banished from our breasts.“This is the end of a perfect day,”said Yün.“Wouldn't it be fine if we could get a boat and row around the Pavilion!” At this time，the lights were already shining from people's homes，and thinking of the incident on the fifteenth night of the seventh moon, we left the Pavilion and hurried home. According to the custom at Soochow, the women of all families, rich or poor, came out in groups on the Mid-Autumn night, a custom which was called“pacing the moonlight.”Strange to say, no one came to such a beautiful neighbourhood as the Ts'anglang Pavilion.

My father Chiafu was very fond of adopting children; hence I had twenty-six adopted brothers. My mother, too, had nine adopted daughters, among whom Miss Wang, the second, and Miss Yü, the sixth,were Yün's best friends. Wang was a kind of a tomboy and a great drinker, while Yü was straightforward and very fond of talking. When they came together，they used to chase me out, so that the three of them could sleep in the same bed. I knew Miss Yü was responsible for this, and once I said to her in fun,“When you get married, I am going to invite your husband to come and keep him for ten days at a stretch.”I'll come here，too, then，” said Miss Yü， “and sleep in the same bed with Yün. Won't that be fun?” At this Yün and Wang merely smiled.

At this time, my younger brother Ch'it'ang was going to get married, and we moved to Ts'angmi Alley by the Bridge of Drinking Horses. The house was quite big, but not so nice and secluded as the one by the Ts'anglang Pavilion. On the birthday of my mother, we had theatrical performances at home, and Yün at first thought them quite wonderful. Scorning all taboos, my father asked for the performance of a scene called “Sad Parting,”and the actors played so realistically that the audience were quite touched. I noticed across the screen that Yün suddenly got up and disappeared inside for a long time. I went in to see her and the Misses Yü and Wang also followed suit. There I saw Yün sitting alone before her dressing table, resting her head on an arm.“Why are you so sad?”I asked. “One sees a play for diversion,” Yün said, “but today's play only breaks my heart.” Both Wang and Yü were laughing at her, but I defended her. “She is touched because hers is a profoundly emotional soul.”“Are you going to sit here all day long?” asked Miss Yü.“I'll stay here until some better selection is being played，” Yün replied. Hearing this, Miss Wang left first and asked my mother to select more cheerful plays like Ch'ihliang and Househ . Then Yün was persuaded to come out and watch the play, which made her happy again.

My uncle Such'ün died early without an heir, and my father made me succeed his line. His tomb was situated on the Hill of Good Fortune and Longevity in Hsikuat'ang by the side of our ancestral tombs, and I was accustomed to go there with Yün and visit the grave every spring. As there was a beautiful garden called Koyüan in its neighbourhood, Miss Wang begged to come with us. Yün saw that the pebbles on this hill had beautiful grains of different colours, and said to me,“If we were to collect these pebbles and make them into a grotto, it would be even more artistic than one made of Hsüanchow stones.”I expressed the fear that there might not be enough of this kind.“If Yün really likes them，I'll pick them for her，” said Miss Wang. So she borrowed a bag from the watchman, and went along with a stork's strides collecting them. Whenever she picked up one, she would ask for my opinion. If I said“good,” she would put it into the bag; and if I said “no,” she would throw it away. She stood up before long and came back to us with the bag, perspiring all over.“My strength will fail me if I am going to pick any more，” she said. “I have been told,” said Yün, as she was selecting the good ones in the bag, “that mountain fruits must be gathered with the help of monkeys, which seems quite true.” Miss Wang was furious and stretched both her hands as if to tease her. I stopped her and said to Yün by way of reproof,“You cannot blame her for being angry,because she is doing all the work and you stand by and say such unkind things.”

Then on our way back, we visited the Koyüan Garden, in which we saw a profusion of flowers of all colours. Wang was very childish;she would now and then pick a flower for no reason, and Yün scolded her, saying,“What do you pick so many flowers for, since you are not going to put them in a vase or in your hair?” “Oh! what's the harm?These flowers don't feel anything.”“All right，” I said，“you will be punished for this one day by marrying a pock-marked bearded fellow for your husband to avenge the flowers.”Wang looked at me in anger,threw the flowers to the ground and kicked them into the pond.“Why do you all bully me?”she said. However，Yün made it up with her, and she was finally pacified.

Yün was at first very quiet and loved to hear me talk, but I gradually taught her the art of conversation as one leads a cricket with a blade of grass. She then gradually learnt the art of conversation. For instance, at meals, she always mixed her rice with tea, and loved to eat stale pickled bean-curd, called “stinking bean-curd”in Soochow. Another thing she liked to eat was a kind of small pickled cucumber. I hated both of these things, and said to her in fun one day,“The dog, which has no stomach, eats human refuse because it doesn't know that refuse stinks，while the beetle rolls in dunghills and is changed into a cicada because it wants to fly up to heaven. Now are you a dog or a beetle?” To this Yün replied,“One eats beancurd because it is so cheap and it goes with dry rice as well as with congee. I am used to this from childhood. Now I am married into your home, like a beetle that has been transformed into a cicada, but I am still eating it because one should not forget old friends. As for pickled cucumber, I tasted it for the first time in your home.”

“Oh, then, my home is a dog's kennel, isn't it?” Yün was embarrassed and tried to explain it away by saying,“Of course there is refuse in every home; the only difference is whether one eats it or not. You yourself eat garlic, for instance, and I have tried to eat it with you. I won't compel you to eat stinking bean-curd, but cucumber is really very nice, if you hold your breath while eating. You will see when you have tasted it yourself. It is like Wuyien, an ugly but virtuous woman of old.”“Are you going to make me a dog?” I asked. “Well, I have been a dog for a long time, why don't you try to be one?”So she picked a piece of cucumber with her chopsticks and stuck it into my mouth. I held my breath and ate it and found it indeed delicious. Then I ate it in the usual way and found it to have a marvellous flavour. And from that time on,I loved the cucumber also. Yün also prepared pickled bean-curd mixed with sesame seed oil and sugar, which I found also to be a delicacy. We then mixed pickled cucumber with pickled bean-curd and called the mixture “the double-flavoured gravy.”I said I could not understand why I disliked it at first and began to love it so now. “If you are in love with a thing, you will forget its ugliness,” said Yün.

My younger brother Ch'it'ang married the grand-daughter of Wang Hsüchou. It happened that on the wedding day, she wanted some pearls. Yün took her own pearls，which she had received as her bridal gift, and gave them to my mother. The maid-servant thought it a pity, but Yün said，“A woman is an incarnation of the female principle, and so are pearls. For a woman to wear pearls would be to leave no room for the male principle. For that reason I don't prize them.”She had, however, a peculiar fondness for old books and broken slips of painting. Whenever she saw odd volumes of books，she would try to sort them out, arrange them in order, and have them rebound properly. These were collected and labelled “Ancient Relics.”When she saw scrolls of calligraphy or painting that were partly spoilt, she would find some old paper and paste them up nicely，and ask me to fill up the broken spaces. These were kept rolled up properly and called “Beautiful Gleanings.” This was what she was busy about the whole day when she was not attending to the kitchen or needlework. When she found in old trunks or piles of musty volumes any writing or painting that pleased her, she felt as if she had discovered some precious relic, and an old woman neighbour of ours，by the name of Feng, used to buy up old scraps and sell them to her. She had the same tastes and habits as myself, and besides had the talent of reading my wishes by a mere glance or movement of the eyebrow, doing things without being told and doing them to my perfect satisfaction.

Once I said to her,“It is a pity that you were born a woman. If you were a man, we could travel together and visit all the great mountains and the famous places throughout the country.”

“Oh! this is not so very difficult，” said Yün. “Wait till I have got my grey hairs. Even if I cannot accompany you to the Five Sacred Mountains then, we can travel to the nearer places, like Huch'iu and Lingyen, as far south as the West Lake and as far north as P'ingshan [in Yangchow].”

“Of course this is all right, except that I am afraid when you are grey-haired, you will be too old to travel.”

“If I can't do it in this life，then I shall do it in the next.”

“In the next life，you must be born a man and I will be your wife.”

“It will be quite beautiful if we can then still remember what has happened in this life.”

“That's all very well，but even a bowl of congee has provided material for so much conversation. We shan't be able to sleep a wink the whole wedding night, but shall be discussing what we have done in the previous existence，if we can still remember what's happened in this life then.”

“It is said that the Old Man under the Moon is in charge of matrimony，” said Yün.“He was good enough to make us husband and wife in this life, and we shall still depend on his favour in the affair of marriage in the next incarnation. Why don't we make a painting of him and worship him in our home?”

So we asked a Mr. Ch'i Liut'i of T'iaoch'i who specialized in portraiture，to make a painting of the Old Man under the Moon, which he did. It was a picture of the Old Man holding, in one hand, a red silk thread [for the purpose of binding together the hearts of all couples] and,in the other, a walking-stick with the Book of Matrimony suspended from it. He had white hair and a ruddy complexion, apparently bustling about in a cloudy region. Altogether it was a very excellent painting of Ch'i's. My friend Shih Chot'ang Wrote some words of praise on it and we hung the picture in our chamber. On the first and fifteenth of every month, we burnt incense and prayed together before him. I do not know where this picture is now, as we have lost it after all the changes and upsets in our family life. “Ended is the present life and uncertain the next,”as the poet says. I wonder if God will listen to the prayer of us two silly lovers.

After we had moved to Ts'angmi Alley, I called our bedroom the“Tower of My Guest's Fragrance,” with a reference to Yün's name, and to the story of Liang Hung and Meng Kuang who, as husband and wife,were always courteous to each other “like guests.” We rather disliked the house because the walls were too high and the courtyard was too small. At the back, there was another house, leading to the library. Looking out of the window at the back, one could see the old garden of Mr. Loh then in a dilapidated condition, Yün's thoughts still hovered about the beautiful scenery of the T'sanglang Pavilion.

At this time, there was an old peasant woman living on the east of Mother Gold's Bridge and the north of Kenghsiang. Her little cottage was surrounded on all sides by vegetable fields and had a wicker gate. Outside the gate, there was a pond about thirty yards across, and a wilderness of flowers and trees covered the sides of the hedgerow. This was the old site of the home of Chang Ssǔch'eng at the end of the Yüan Dynasty. A few paces to the west of the cottage, there was a mound filled with broken bricks, from the top of which one could command a view of the surrounding territory, which was an open country with a stretch of wild vegetation.

Once the old woman happened to mention the place, and Yün kept on thinking about it. So she said to me one day,“Since leaving the Ts'anglang Pavilion, I have been dreaming about it all the time. As we cannot live there, we must put up with the second best. I have a great idea to go and live in the old woman's cottage.”“I have been thinking，too,” I said, “of a place to go to and spend the long summer days. If you think you'll like the place, I'll go ahead and take a look. If it is satisfactory, we can carry our beddings along and go and stay there for a month. How about it?”“I'm afraid mother won't allow us.”“Oh! I'll see to that，”I told her. So the next day, I went there and found that the cottage consisted only of two rooms, which were partitioned into four. With paper windows and bamboo beds, the house would be quite a delightfully cool place to stay in. The old woman knew what I wanted and gladly rented me her bedroom, which then looked quite new, when I had repapered the walls. I then informed my mother of it and went to stay there with Yün.

Our only neighbours were an old couple who raised vegetables for the market. They knew that we were going to stay there for the summer,and came and called on us, bringing us some fish from the pond and vegetables from their own fields. We offered to pay for them, but they wouldn't take any money, and afterwards Yün made a pair of shoes for each of them, which they were finally persuaded to accept.

This was in the seventh moon when the trees cast a green shade over the place. The summer breeze blew over the water of the pond,and cicadas filled the air with their singing the whole day. Our old neighbour also made a fishing rod for us, and we used to angle together under the shade of the willow trees. Late in the afternoons, we would go up on the mound to have a look at the evening glow and compose lines of poetry, when we felt so inclined. Two of the best lines were：

“Beast-clouds swallow the sinking sun ,

And the bow-moon shoots the falling stars.”

After a while, the moon cut her image in the water, insects began to chirp all round, and we placed a bamboo bed near the hedgerow to sit or lie upon. The old woman then would inform us that wine had been warmed up and dinner prepared, and we would sit down to have a little drink under the moon before our meal. Then after bath, we would put on our slippers and carry a fan, and lie or sit there, listening to old tales of retribution told by our neighbour. When we came in to sleep about midnight, we felt nice and cool all over the body, almost forgetting that we were living in a city.

There along the hedgerow, we asked the gardener to plant chrysanthemums. The flowers bloomed in the ninth moon, and we continued to stay there for another ten days. My mother was also quite delighted and came to see us there. So we ate crabs in the midst of chrysanthemums and whiled away the whole day.

Yün was quite enchanted with all this and said,“Some day we must build a cottage here. We'll buy ten mow of ground around the cottage,and see to our servants planting in the fields vegetables and melons to be sold for the expenses of our daily meals. You will paint and I will do embroidery, from which we could make enough money to buy wine for entertaining our friends who will gather here together to compose poems. Thus, clad in simple gowns and eating simple meals, we could live a very happy life together without going anywhere.”I fully agreed with her. Now the place is still there, while my bosom friend is dead. Alas! such is life!

About half a li from my home, there was a temple to the God of the Tungt'ing Lake, popularly known as the Narcissus Temple, situated in the Ch'uk'u Alley. It had many winding corridors and something of a garden with pavilions. On the birthday of the God, every clan would be assigned a corner in the Temple, where they would hang beautiful glass lanterns of a kind, with a chair in the center ,on the either side of which were placed vases on wooden stands. These vases were decorated with flowers for competition. In the daytime, there would be theatrical performances, while at night the flower-vases were brilliantly illuminated with candlelights in their midst, a custom which was called “Illuminated Flowers.” With the flowers and the lanterns and the smell of incense, the whole show resembled a night feast in the Palace of the Dragon King. The people there would sing or play music, or gossip over their teacups. The audience stood around in crowds to look at the show and there was a railing at the curb to keep them within a certain limit.

I was asked by my friends to help in the decorations and so had the pleasure of taking part in it. When Yün heard me speaking about it at home, she remarked,“ It is a pity that I am not a man and cannot go to see it.”“Why, you could put on my cap and gown and disguise yourself as a man,” I suggested. Accordingly she changed her coiffure into a queue, painted her eyebrows, and put on my cap. Although her hair showed slightly round the temples, it passed off tolerably well. As my gown was found to be an inch and a half too long, she tucked it round the waist and put on a makua on top. “What am I going to do about my feet?” she asked. I told her there was a kind of shoes called“butterfly shoes,” which could fit any size of feet and were very easy to obtain at the shops, and suggested buying a pair for her, which she could also use as slippers later on at home. Yün was delighted with the idea, and after supper, when she had finished her make-up, she paced about the room, imitating the gestures and gait of a man for a long time,when all of a sudden she changed her mind and said,“I am not going! It would be so embarrassing if somebody should discover it, and besides,our parents would object.”Still I urged her to go. “Who doesn't know me at the Temple?”I said. “Even if they should find it out，they would laugh it off as a joke. Mother is at present in the home of the ninth sister. We could steal away and back without letting anyone know about it.”

Yün then had such fun looking at herself in the mirror. I dragged her along and we stole away together to the Temple. For a long time nobody in the Temple could detect it. When people asked, I simply said she was my boy cousin, and people would merely curtsy with their hands together and pass on. Finally, we came to a place where there were some young women and girls sitting behind the flower show. They were the family of the owner of that show,by the name of Yang. Yün suddenly went over to talk with them,and while talking,she casually leant over and touched the shoulder of a young woman. The maid-servants nearby shouted angrily, “How dare the rascal!”I attempted to explain and smooth the matter over,but the servants still scowled ominously on us,and seeing that the situation was desperate, Yün took off her cap and showed her feet, saying “Look here,I am a woman,too!” They all stared at each other in surprise, and then,instead of being angry,began to laugh. We were then asked to sit down and have some tea. Soon afterwards we got sedan-chairs and came home.

When Mr.Ch'ien Shihchu of Wukiang died of an illness,my father wrote a letter to me,asking me to go and attend the funeral. Yün secretly expressed her desire to come along since on our way to Wukiang, we would pass the Taihu Lake, which she wished very much to see. I told her that I was just thinking it would be too lonely for me to go alone,and that it would be excellent, indeed, if she could come along, except that I could not think of a pretext for her going.

“Oh，I could say that I am going to see my mother，”Yün said.“You can go ahead，and I shall come along to meet you.”“If so，” I said,“we can tie up our boat beneath the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years on our way home, where we shall be able to look at the moon again as we did at the Ts'anglang Pavilion.”

This was on the eighteenth day of the sixth moon. That day, I brought a servant and arrived first at Hsükiang Ferry,where I waited for her in the boat. By and by, Yün arrived in a sedan-chair,and we started off, passing by the Tiger's Roar Bridge, where the view opened up and we saw sailing boats and sand-birds flitting over the lake. The water was a white stretch,joining the sky at the horizon. “So this is Taihu!” Yün exclaimed. “I know now how big the universe is，and I have not lived in vain! I think a good many ladies never see such a view in their whole lifetime.” As we were occupied in conversation,it wasn't very long before we saw swaying willows on the banks,and we knew we had arrived at Wukiang.

I went up to attend the funeral ceremony, but when I came back,Yün was not in the boat. I asked the boatman and he said,“Don't you see someone under the willow trees by the bridge, watching the cormorants catching fish?”Yün,then,had gone up with the boatman's daughter. When I got behind her，I saw that she was perspiring all over,still leaning on the boatman's daughter and standing there absorbed looking at the cormorants. I patted her shoulder and said，“You are wet through.”Yün turned her head and said，“I was afraid that your friend Ch'ien might come to the boat,so I left to avoid him. Why did you come back so early?” “In order to catch the renegade!” I replied.

We then came back hand-in-hand to the boat, and when we stopped at the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years. The sun had not yet gone down. And we let down all the windows to allow the river breeze to come in, and there, dressed in light silk and holding a silk fan, we sliced a melon to cool ourselves. Soon the evening glow was casting a red hue over the bridge, and the distant haze enveloped the willow trees in twilight. The moon was then coming up, and all along the river we saw a stretch of lights coming from the fishing boats. I asked my servant to go astern and have a drink with the boatman.

The boatman's daughter was called Suyün. She was quite a likeable girl, and I had known her before. I beckoned her to come and sit together with Yün on the bow of the boat. We did not put on any light,so that we could the better enjoy the moon, and there we sat drinking heartily and playing literary games with wine as forfeit. Suyün just stared at us, listening for a long time before she said,“Now I am quite familiar with all sorts of wine-games, but have never heard of this one. Will you explain it to me?” Yün tried to explain it by all sorts of analogies to her,but still she failed to understand.

Then I laughed and said, “Will the lady teacher please stop a moment? I have a parable for explaining it, and she will understand at once.”“You try it, then!”“The stork,”I said, “can dance, but cannot plow,while the buffalo can plow, but cannot dance. That lies in the nature of things. You are making a fool of yourself by trying to teach the impossible to her.” Suyün pummelled my shoulder playfully, saying,“You are speaking of me as a buffalo, aren't you?”Then Yün said,“Hereafter let's make a rule: let's have it out with our mouths, but no hands! One who breaks the rule will have to drink a big cup.”As Suyün was a great drinker, she filled a cup full and drank it up at a draught. “I suggest that one may be allowed to use one's hands for caressing, but not for striking,” I said. Yün then playfully pushed Suyün into my lap, saying,“Now you can caress her to your full.”“How stupid of you!”I laughed in reply. “The beauty of caressing lies in doing it naturally and half unconsciously. Only a country bumpkin will hug and caress a woman roughly.” I noticed that the jasmine in the hair of both of them gave out a strange fragrance, mixed with the flavour of wine, powder and hair lotion and remarked to Yün, “The‘common little fellow’ stinks all over the place. It makes me sick.” Hearing this, Suyün struck me blow after blow with her fist in a rage, saying, “Who told you to smell it?”

“She breaks the rule! Two big cups!” Yün shouted.

“He called me‘common little fellow.’ Why shouldn't I strike him?” protested Suyün.

“He really means by the‘common little fellow’ something which you don't understand. You finish these two cups first and I'll tell you.”

When Suyün had finished the two cups, Yün told her of our discussion about the jasmine at the Ts'anglang Pavilion.

“Then the mistake is mine. I must be penalized again,”said Suyün. And she drank a third cup.

Yün said then that she had long heard of her reputation as a singer and would like to hear her sing. This Suyün did beautifully, beating time with her ivory chopsticks on a little plate. Yün drank merrily until she was quite drunk, when she took a sedan-chair and went home first,while I remained chatting with Suyün for a moment, and then walked home under the moonlight.

At this time, we were staying in the home of our friend Lu Panfang,in a house called Hsiaoshuanglou. A few days afterwards, Mrs.Lu heard of the story from someone, and secretly told Yün, “Do you know that your hushand was drinking a few days ago at the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years with two sing-song girls?”“Yes, I do,” replied Yün，“and one of the sing-song girls was myself.”Then she told her the whole story and Mrs. Lu had a good laugh at herself.

When I came back from Eastern Kwangtung in the seventh moon,1794, there was a boy cousin-in-law of mine, by the name of Hsü Hsiufeng, who had brought home with him a concubine. He was crazy about her beauty and asked Yün to go and see her. After seeing her, Yün remarked to Hsiufeng one day,“She has beauty but no charm .”“Do you mean to say that when your husband takes a concubine，she must have both beauty and charm?”answered Hsiufeng. Yün replied in the affirmative. So from that time on, she was quite bent on finding a concubine for me, but was short of cash.

At this time there was a Chekiang sing-song girl by the name of Wen Lenghsiang, who was staying at Soochow. She had composed four poems on the Willow Catkins which were talked about all over the city, and many scholars wrote poems in reply, using the same rhymewords as her originals, as was the custom. There was a friend of mine,Chang Hsienhan of Wukiang, who was a good friend of Lenghsiang and brought her poems to me, asking us to write some in reply. Yün wasn't interested because she did not think much of her, but I was intrigued and composed one on the flying willow catkins which filled the air in May. Two lines which Yün liked very much were：

“They softly touch the spring sorrow in my bosom，

And gently stir the longings in her heart.”

On the fifth day of the eighth moon in the following year, my mother was going to see Huch'iu with Yün, when Hsienhan suddenly appeared and said,“I am going to Huch'iu, too. Will you come along with me and see a beautiful sing-song girl?” I told my mother to go ahead and agreed to meet her at Pant'ang near Huch'iu. My friend then dragged me to Lenghsiang's place. I saw that Lenghsiang was already in her middle-age, but she had a girl by the name of Hanyüan, who was a very sweet young maiden, still in her teens. Her eyes looked“like an autumn lake that cooled one by its cold splendour.” After talking with her for a while, I learnt that she knew very well how to read and write. There was also a younger sister of hers, by the name of Wenyüan, who was still a mere child.

I had then no thought of going about with a sing-song girl, fully realizing that, as a poor scholar, I could not afford to take part in the feast in such a place. But since I was there already, I tried to get along as best I could.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” I said to Hsienhan secretly.

“No, ” he replied, “someone had invited me today to a dinner in Hanyüan's place in return for a previous dinner. It happened that the host himself was invited by an important person, and I am acting in his place. Don't you worry! ”

I felt then quite relieved. Arriving at Pant'ang, we met my mother's boat, and I asked Hanyüan to go over to her boat and meet her. When Yün and Han met each other, they instinctively took to each other like old friends, and later they went hand-in-hand all over the famous places on the hill. Yün was especially fond of a place called “A Thousand Acres of Clouds” for its loftiness, and she remained there for a long time, lost in admiration of the scenery. We returned to the Waterside of Rural Fragrance where we tied up the boats and had a jolly drinking party together.

When we started on our way home, Yün said, “Will you please go over to the other boat with your friend, while I share this one with Han?” We did as she suggested, and I did not return to my boat until we had passed the Tut'ing Bridge, where we parted from my friend and Hanyüan. It was midnight by the time we returned home.

“Now I have found a girl who has both beauty and charm, ”Yün said to me. “I have already asked Hanyüan to come and see us tomorrow, and I'll arrange it for you.”I was taken by surprise.

“You know we are not a wealthy family. We can't afford to keep a girl like that, and we are so happily married. Why do you want to find somebody else? ”

“But I love her, ”said Yün smilingly.“You just leave it to me.”

The following afternoon, Hanyüan actually came. Yün was very cordial to her and prepared a feast, and we played the fingerguessing game and drank, but during the whole dinner, not a word was mentioned about securing her for me. When Hanyüan had gone, Yün said,“I have secretly made another appointment with her to come on the eighteenth, when we will pledge ourselves as sisters. You must prepare a sacrificial offering for the occasion”; and pointing to the emerald bracelet on her arm, she continued, “if you see this bracelet appear on Hanyüan's arm, you'll understand that she has consented. I have already hinted at it to her, but we haven't got to know each other as thoroughly as I should like to yet. ” I had to let her have her own way.

On the eighteenth, Hanyüan turned up in spite of a pouring rain. She disappeared in the bedroom for a long time before she came out hand-in-hand with Yün. When she saw me, she felt a little shy, for the bracelet was already on her arm. After they had burnt incense and pledged an oath, Yün wanted to have another drink together with her that day. But it happened that Hanyüan had an engagement to go and visit the Shih-hu Lake, and soon she left.

Yün came to me all smiles and said,“Now that I have found a beauty for you, how are you going to reward the go-between?”I asked her for the details.

“I had to broach the topic delicately to her,” she said，“because I was afraid that she might have someone else in mind. Now I have learnt that there isn't anyone, and I asked her, ‘Do you understand why we have this pledge today?’ ‘I should feel greatly honoured if I could come to your home, but my mother is expecting a lot of me and I can't decide by myself. We will watch and see,’ she replied. As I was putting on the bracelet, I told her again, ‘The jade is chosen for its hardness as a token of fidelity and the bracelet's roundness is a symbol of everlasting faithfulness. Meanwhile, please put it on as a token of our pledge. She replied that everything depends on me. So it seems that she is willing herself. The only difficulty is her mother, Lenghsiang. We will wait and see how it turns out.”

“Are you going to enact the comedy Lianhsiangpan of Li Liweng right in our home?”

“ Yes!” Yün replied.

From that time on, not a day passed without her mentioning Hanyüan's name. Eventually Hanyüan was married by force to some influential person, and our arrangements did not come off. And Yün actually died of grief on this account.

我生于乾隆統治時期，癸未年（1763年）十一月二十二日。當時正值太平盛世，且生在士人學者之家，居住在蘇州滄浪亭邊，上天待我可說是優厚異常。蘇東坡有言：“事如春夢了無痕?！比缛粑也慌⑸钣涗浵聛?，則有負上天的恩惠了。

既然《詩經》以一首寫婚戀之愛的詩歌開篇，我想此書也就從夫婦之事講起，之后再逐次講其他事情。唯一遺憾自己少時受教不足，所知僅只一些簡陋之辭，且我不過想記下這些真情實事，誠愿讀者多有包涵，勿要細察我的文法，那好比責求污穢的鏡子也能光亮如新。

我幼年時與金沙于氏小姐定親，于氏八歲而亡，最后我娶了親族陳家的姑娘。陳氏名蕓，字淑珍，是我的表姐，我舅舅心馀先生的女兒。蕓自小聰慧伶俐，在她學說話時，教她白居易的長詩《琵琶行》，她很快就能背誦。四歲時她父親去世，家中只有她母親（金氏）、弟弟克昌和她自己，家境幾乎一貧如洗。蕓年歲稍長即學做女紅，供養一家三口用度，并始終設法按期付克昌的學費。一天，她自廢紙簍中撿得《琵琶行》一詩，憑著對此詩的記憶，便從上面逐字逐句學認起來。刺繡的閑暇，她漸漸學會寫詩，其中一首里有如下兩句：

我十三歲時，跟隨母親回娘家，在那里我們才遇見。那時我和蕓還是天真的孩子，她讓我看她寫的詩。我很吃驚于她的才思，然而又擔心她太過聰明而難享福澤。盡管如此，我仍禁不住一直想著她，一次我跟母親說：“你要是為我擇妻，除淑姐以外我誰都不娶?！蔽夷赣H也喜歡她這般溫順柔婉，便將手上的金戒指送與她作為定親的信物。

那一日是乾隆乙未年（1775）七月十六。這年冬天，我的一個表姐（另一個舅舅的女兒）要出嫁，我又陪母親去了她娘家。

蕓與我同齡，但長我十個月，因我們從小習慣以姐弟相稱，所以我仍舊叫她“淑姐”。

其時屋內所有客人皆衣衫鮮亮，唯蕓著一身顏色素凈的衣裙，但穿了一雙新鞋。我注意到她鞋上的刺繡很是精巧，待知是她自己的手工，我才意識到她除了讀書寫作之外，其他事情上亦很有天分。

蕓身形纖細，削肩長頸，然瘦不露骨，眉清目秀，顧盼間透出一種敏慧溫雅之色。唯一不足是兩顆門牙稍稍前傾，似非吉兆之相。她全身散發一股柔婉的氣息，令我徹底為她著迷。

我向她索要她的詩稿，發現大多是對句和一些三四行未完成的詩。詢問何以如此。她笑著說：“沒人教我作詩，希望有一位良師益友幫助我完成?！蔽以谶@本詩稿的標簽上戲題以“錦囊佳句”四字，不想此中已伏著她生命短促的因由。

那天晚上，我從城外面回來，送完新娘表姐已是半夜，感覺很餓，想要點東西吃。女傭拿來一些棗脯，我嫌太甜。蕓悄悄拉著我的衣袖進到她屋里，見她藏了一碗熱粥并幾樣小菜。我胃口大開，拿起筷子正要吃，這時蕓的堂兄玉衡大喊道：“淑妹，快來！”蕓急忙關上門說：“我很累了，準備要睡了?！庇窈鈴娡崎T而入，見此情景，壞笑著對蕓說：“喲，怪不得呢！先前我要粥吃，你說沒有了，原來是要留給你未來的夫婿啊?！笔|大為窘然，所有人都笑她，包括幾個下人。而我則帶了一名老仆氣沖沖地跑回了家。

自吃粥之事后，我再去她家，蕓總是躲著我，我知道她只是想避免成為大家的笑柄。

秋侵人影瘦，霜染菊花肥。

滄浪之水清兮，可以濯我纓，

滄浪之水濁兮，可以濯我足！

When the water is clear, I will wash the tassels of my hat, and when the water is muddy, I will wash my feet.

我們的婚禮在乾隆庚子年（1780）正月二十二日舉行。那晚她來到我家時，我發現她的身體還跟以前一樣纖瘦。蓋頭被掀起的那一刻，我們相視而笑。喝完例行的新人交杯酒后，我們坐下來一起用餐，我在桌子底下悄悄握住她的手。她的手小巧而溫暖，我的心怦怦直跳。我讓她吃東西，得知那日正逢她的齋期，她吃齋已經有好幾年。我發現她開始齋戒的時間正好是我出水痘的日期，于是跟她打趣說：“如今我臉上光潔無痘，親愛的姐姐，你是不是該開戒了呀？”蕓看著我微笑著點了點頭。

二十四日我姐要出嫁，就在兩天之后，因二十三日國忌在即，不得作樂，便在二十二日晚上，我結婚的日子，為我姐舉辦了送親宴。蕓陪坐在席，而我在新房里同伴娘玩猜拳游戲，因為一直輸，我喝得爛醉而睡。第二天早上醒來時，蕓已近梳妝完畢了。

那一天，我們一直忙著招待客人，快傍晚時奏起了音樂。午夜過后，二十四日凌晨，我作為新娘的兄弟為阿姐送行，回來時已近三點。其時房間一派安寧，沐浴在靜靜的燭光里。我進屋見陪伴蕓的老婦正在我們的床前打盹，蕓已卸去新娘裝扮，但還沒上床，正彎著她雪白漂亮的頸子，在明亮的燭光前全神貫注地讀一本書。我輕撫著她的肩膀說：“姐姐，為何還這么孜孜不倦呢？一連辛苦幾日，你一定很累了?！?/p>

蕓即刻轉過頭起身說：“我正要睡覺時，打開書櫥看見這本書，便再也放不下了。此時我睡意已全消?！段鲙洝愤@個書名我聽聞已久，今日才頭一回看見，果然是才子之作，但是覺得它的風格有一點尖酸刻薄?！?/p>

“就因為是才子，方能作此尖薄之風啊?！蔽倚χf。

陪伴蕓的老婦催促我們就寢，我們讓她關門先去。我在蕓身邊坐下來，我們像久別重逢的老友一般開起了玩笑。我摩挲她的胸口逗她，感覺她的心也怦怦作跳?！敖憬銥楹涡奶眠@般厲害呀？”我俯身在她耳邊低語。蕓回眸微笑，我們在一陣激情的迷霧中心醉神馳。之后即上床入睡，不覺間天已經亮了。

初為新娘，蕓甚是沉靜少語。從未有慍怒或不悅之色，有人與她說話時，也只是微笑而已。事長輩恭敬有禮，待下人親近和睦。凡事都做得妥帖得當，難挑出什么過失。每看到窗外天蒙蒙亮即起床梳洗，仿佛有誰催促她如此?！案蓡徇@么早？”我問她，“又不是你給我吃粥那時候，不用怕人說閑話?！薄耙驗槟峭胫嗟木壒剩衣錇榇蠹业男Ρ彼卮鹫f，“但如今我不是怕人說，我只怕父母會認為他們的媳婦懶惰。”

盡管我想讓她在床上多躺一會兒，又不禁贊賞她的品行，于是自己也隨她早起。自此每日耳鬢廝磨，親如形影，我們之間的愛戀之情已非言語可以形容。

時間愉快地過去，蜜月轉眼便結束。其時我父親稼夫公在會稽幕府當職，他專門派人接我過去，需要說明的是，在此期間，我一直受教于武林（今杭州）趙省齋先生門下。趙先生循循善誘，事實上，我今日能夠為文寫字，全然因為先生的教誨。

當初我回家完婚時，原計劃婚禮一結束，就要馬上回父親那里繼續我的學業。所以聽到此消息時，我悵然無措，擔心蕓會哭泣垂淚，但蕓反而強作笑臉來安慰，并幫我整好行李。只是那晚我察覺她神色稍不似往常。分別時，她小聲對我說：“好生照料自己，到那邊就沒人照顧你了?！?/p>

登舟出發，我看到兩岸桃李盛開，只覺自己像失群的孤鳥，仿佛世界就要在我周圍傾塌。一到了那兒，我父親就渡河去了東面一個地方。

如此過了三個月，對我來說有如漫長難熬的十年。盡管蕓按期給我寫信，但總是我給她兩封信，只得一封回復，且信中多只是勸勉之詞，其余皆空泛俗套之語，我心中甚是不快。每當風吹過院中竹林，或月光自蕉葉后照在窗上，我便為她魂牽夢繞，思念不已。

先生留意到這些，便寫信給我的父親，說要留十個題目讓我回家做文章。我像一名戍邊之人得到了赦令回鄉一樣。

有漁舟散臥于平靜的水上，

好似一幅最好的月下美景。

Fishing boats lay about on the stretch of calm water—a scene which seemed to be best looked at under the moonlight.

說來也奇，當我登上回家的船時，只覺得一刻長如一年。及至家中，向母親請安后進到我自己房間。蕓起身相迎，寂靜中我們握著彼此的手，仿佛此時我們的魂魄已消逝或幻散如一陣煙霧，只覺得耳中惺然一響，便不知身在何時何地了。

此時正當六月，屋內十分炎熱。所幸我們住在滄浪亭愛蓮居西邊。板橋上有一座敞開的廊廳俯瞰水上，名曰“我取”——取“滄浪之水清兮，可以濯我纓；滄浪之水濁兮，可以濯我足！”之意。屋檐邊，一棵老樹濃蔭覆窗，映得人面都染上了綠意；隔河望去，可見游人往來不絕。這里是我父親經常垂簾宴客之處。我征得母親同意，攜蕓過來在此消夏。因為天熱，夏天幾個月里她也放下刺繡，整日與我一起讀書論古，或賞月品花。蕓不善飲酒，但不得已時也能喝上三杯。我教她射覆酒令，輸者飲酒。我們以為塵世生活的快樂，也莫過于此吧。

一天，蕓問我道：“諸多古代文人，要宗法哪一位才是呢？”我回答說：“《戰國策》和《莊子》以思想的輕靈和風格表現力著稱，匡衡和劉向以其典雅剛健而聞名，司馬遷和班固取其知識之廣博，韓愈取其渾厚之質，柳宗元取其峭拔之美，歐陽修取其跌宕恣肆，三蘇取其一貫的雄辯。此外有賈誼和董仲舒的政治散文，庾信和徐陵的駢文，陸贄的奏議，其他則無法一一列舉。然而，真正的鑒賞，就看閱讀者自身的造化了。”

蕓說：“古文之所以好，全在其思想之深刻和精神之偉大，這對女性來說恐怕很難深入領會。然而我相信，我對詩歌一門的確有所領悟?！?/p>

我說：“唐代科舉考試中，詩歌作為一種文學測試來招賢納士，人們尊奉李白和杜甫為詩之宗。兩者中你更喜歡哪一位？”

蕓說：“杜詩以技巧和藝術的精純見長，李詩以自由而自然的表達聞名。我寧愛李白之活潑，甚于杜甫之森嚴?！?/p>

“杜甫被公認為詩圣，學人多取法于他。為何你偏喜歡李白？”我問她。

“當然，”她說，“要說形式之完美與旨意之精深，杜甫是無可爭議的大師，但李白的詩有世外仙子的任性之美。其詩句得來如落花流水，自然而發更加令人喜愛。我并非說杜甫亞于李白，只是我個人覺得，不是我宗杜之心不足，而是我愛李之心更多?！?/p>

“哎喲，不料你還是李白的知己?。　?/p>

“還有另一位詩人白居易，可說是我的啟蒙之師，令我時感于心，從來不曾忘記。”

“為何這樣說呢？”我問道。

“他不是寫《琵琶行》的那位嗎？”

“真是奇哉，”我笑道，“這么說李白是你的知己，白居易是你的啟蒙之師，而你的丈夫又表字三白?？磥砟氵@一生總是與‘白’字有緣啊。”

“真是呢，”蕓笑道，“與‘白’字有緣，只怕我此生都要白字聯翩了。”（吳越方言稱別字為白字。）遂一起大笑起來。

“你既然懂詩，我也想知道你對賦的口味?！蔽艺f。

“《楚辭》無疑是賦之源頭，但我發覺它很難懂。就漢、晉而言，從語體與措辭來看，似覺司馬相如為最高。”

“當初文君被引誘與相如私奔，原因或不在音樂，而在其詩賦??！”遂又一同大笑起來。

我生性直率，不依慣例，而蕓如孔門儒士，迂拘多禮。有時為她披衣整袖，她總會再三說“得罪，得罪”，每為她遞毛巾或扇子，她必會起身來接。起初我厭煩這點，便對她說：“你是想用所有這些禮節來束縛我嗎？有句話說，‘禮多必詐’?！笔|登時紅了臉道：“我不過想恭敬有禮，你為何反而說我有詐？”我說：“真正的恭敬只在內心，無須這般虛禮俗套?！钡|說：“至親莫過于兒女與父母之間。你是說兒女應對父母舉止隨意，而只在心里尊敬嗎？” “哎呀！我前面就是開個玩笑?！蔽艺f?！皢栴}是，夫妻反目大多起于玩笑。日后你可不要指責我無禮，那樣我會因無法辯解而傷心死的。”蕓說。于是我將她緊緊攬在懷中撫慰她，直到她露出笑容。自那以后，我們說話間便多有“豈敢，豈敢”或“得罪，得罪”之語。如此相敬如賓地過了二十三年，如梁鴻孟光（東漢）一般，且共處愈久，相互間依戀愈甚。

家庭之內，無論屋內碰面或窄道相逢，兩人常握著對方的手問道：“你去哪兒呀？”我們偷偷地這樣做，仿佛怕有人看見。事實上，起初我們并坐或同行時還避著別人，但一段時間之后，便不再顧忌這些。有時蕓與別人坐著聊天，看見我過來，必起身偏挪一邊，讓我挨著她坐下。一切都自然而然幾乎不覺得什么，盡管開始時還有些不自在，后來便成為習慣之事。我無法理解為什么所有老年夫婦總要彼此怨恨如冤家?；蛴腥苏f：“若他們不是冤家，就沒法白頭偕老?！焙冒?，我倒是懷疑！

這年七夕，蕓備好香火、蠟燭和瓜果，我們一同于“我取軒”中祭拜天孫。我鐫刻了兩方圖章，印字為“愿生生世世為夫婦”，我持朱文，蕓執白文，以作往來書信之用。

那晚月色很美，俯視河中，銀波閃耀如練。我們身著輕衣，手執羅扇，并坐于臨河的窗前，仰望天空，只見飛云穿渡，變幻萬狀。蕓說：“宇宙之大，同此一月。不知今日世間，是否有另一對愛人也如我們一般，正意致盎然地賞月呢？”我說：“哦！此時納涼賞月的人應該很多啊，或也有許多女子于深閨秀闥中品論云霞；但若一對夫婦一同賞月，談論的恐怕就不是云霞了吧?！辈灰粫海瑺T光熄滅，月亮沉潛，遂撤去瓜果回屋就寢。

七月半是鬼節。蕓略置酒菜，準備邀月共飲，然而到夜晚時，天空突然陰云密布。蕓皺眉說：“如若老天希望我們二人此生共度，白頭偕老，則今晚的月亮當再次出來。”我自己也感到興味索然。隔河望去，但見人群中螢火閃爍如萬千燭光，在堤岸旁的柳樹與水蓼間穿梭來回。

于是我們開始一起聯句賦詩，每人一次說兩句，第一個人完成的對句作為另一個人的首句，然后第二個人出新聯由另一個人來對，如此數韻之后，愈聯愈荒誕不經，到最后成了一堆草率的打油詩。至此時，蕓已笑得梨花帶淚，倒在我懷里上不來氣，只覺她發間茉莉的氣味濃香撲鼻。我拍拍她的肩膀打趣說：“我以為茉莉被用來作為女人的發飾是因其純凈圓潤如珍珠，卻不知其香味沾上女人頭發和脂粉的氣息后更加可愛。聞此香時，雖佛手亦不可與之媲美。”蕓止住笑說：“佛手為芳香植物中的君子，其香幽微淡雅，幾乎難以察覺；另一方面，茉莉乃凡俗小人，因其香味部分借自他人。所以茉莉之香就像諂笑者的奉承?！薄澳敲矗蔽艺f，“為何你遠君子而近小人呢？”蕓回答說：“我不過笑那君子愛著一個小人罷了。”

幾番爭辯，已是半夜，卻見天上風掃云開，一盞明月當空涌出，圓滿如車輪，于是皆大歡喜，便開始倚窗對飲，還沒喝幾杯，忽然聽見橋下撲通一聲，仿佛有人墮入水中。我們朝窗外望去，水上波平如鏡，什么也沒看見，只聽到河灘上一只鴨子驚惶奔跑的聲音。我知道滄浪亭邊素有溺死者的鬼魂，但知道蕓很膽小，未敢跟她提及。蕓嘆氣道：“咦！這聲音是哪里來的呢？”兩人不禁都毛骨悚然，便急忙關上窗戶，攜了酒壺回房。此時屋內一燈如豆，昏暗中床邊羅帳低垂，我們都驚得渾身發抖。于是挑亮油燈，入帳就寢，蕓已發起了高燒。沒多久我自己也燒起來，兩人一連病了有二十日。真正是俗話說的樂極災生，而這也是我們不能一起白頭到老的征兆。

八月十五日中秋節，我病后初愈。蕓作為新婦在我家已半年多，卻一直未去過隔壁的滄浪亭。我便先讓一位老仆告知看門人不要放其他游人進入。傍晚時，我帶著蕓與我幼妹，由一位年老的女傭和一個婢女扶著，一位老仆在前面帶路。過了石橋，進大門向東，沿一條曲折的小路進去，看見壘穴巨石，林木蔥翠。亭子在一座小山頂上。循臺階上至亭中，極目望去可見周圍數里，遠處有炊煙裊裊，自農舍的煙囪升起，而晚霞燦然如幕。河對岸有片樹林名為“近山林”，是達官貴人們常用來宴賓會客之處。后來，在這里修建了正誼書院，但那時還沒有。我們拿來一塊毯子，鋪在亭子的地上，然后席地圍坐一起，其間看門人為我們侍奉茶水。沒過一會兒，一輪明月已從樹林后升起，而微風拂弄著我們的衣袖，月亮的影子在水波間閃閃發亮，一切俗慮塵懷，爽然自胸中消失?！斑@一日過得盡善盡美，”蕓說，“要是能找條船來在亭子附近劃一陣，就太好了！”至此時，各家各戶已亮起燈火，想到七月十五那晚受的驚嚇，我們便離開亭子匆匆回去了。按吳地風俗，中秋之夜，婦女們不論窮家富戶都要出門結隊而游，俗稱為“走月亮”。奇怪的是，像滄浪亭這樣清曠優美的地界，反而沒有一個人過來。

我父親稼夫公好認義子，因此我有異姓兄弟二十六人；我母親也有義女九人，其中王二姑、俞六姑與蕓最要好。王二姑癡頑善飲，俞六姑直爽好談。她們在一起時，常常將我趕出去，以便她們三人能同榻而臥。我知道這是俞六姑的主意，一次我跟她打趣說：“等你結婚了，我就把你丈夫請過來，留他一連住上十日?！庇崃谜f：“那我也來這兒，和蕓住一張床。豈不是很有趣？”蕓和王二姑聞此只是微笑不語。

那時我弟弟啟堂要結婚，我們便搬到飲馬橋附近的倉米巷。房屋雖甚寬敞，但不如滄浪亭邊清靜幽雅。我母親生日那天，家里請人來唱戲，蕓開始時甚覺好奇。我父親素來無所忌諱，點了一出《慘別》，伶人們演得情真意切，觀看者無不深受觸動。隔著簾子，我看到蕓忽然起身進了里邊，半天不露面。我去看她，俞六姑和王二姑也跟了進去，見蕓一手支著下巴，獨自坐在梳妝臺一邊?！盀楹稳绱藗心?？”我問道。“看戲原是為怡悅性情，”蕓說，“但今日之戲徒然令人腸斷！”王二姑和俞六姑都笑她，我便護著她道：“因為她有深情善感之心才這般動容啊！”“你要一天都坐在這里嗎？”俞六姑問道?！拔业妊莞玫膽驎r再出去看。”蕓回答道。聽了這話，王二姑先出去讓我母親點了《刺梁》《后索》等歡快些的戲目，然后勸蕓出來觀看，這才讓她高興起來。

我堂伯父素存公去世得早，沒有子嗣，我父親便將我過繼給他。他的墓在西跨塘福壽山，我們家祖墳邊上，每年春天我都攜蕓一起去祭拜。附近有座漂亮的園子叫戈園，王二姑聽說后，請求與我們同去。蕓看見山上的卵石有各色好看的紋理，便對我說：“如若我們將這些卵石堆疊成一座盆山，豈不比宣州白石更為雅致?！蔽艺f這樣的石頭恐怕沒那么多?！爸灰|果真喜歡，我去給她撿?！蓖醵谜f。于是從守墳人處借來一條麻袋，一路鶴步而拾之。每撿一顆，她都問我的意見。若是我說好，她便收進袋里；若我說不好，則棄之。沒多久她便粉汗盈盈，站起身拽著麻袋回到我們跟前?！霸贀煳叶家獩]力氣了?！彼f?！拔衣犝f，”蕓一邊揀麻袋里好看的石頭一邊道，“收獲山里的果實必借助猴子的力量，看來的確如此啊?！蓖醵脷鈵赖厣焓肿龀鲆獡纤陌W癢樣子，我攔在中間，責備蕓說：“不怪人家生氣呢，人家辛勞半日，你在一邊旁觀，還說這種不厚道的話?！?/p>

回歸途中我們去游戈園，看見滿園花木色彩繽紛，爭媚競艷。王二姑素性幼稚，時不時無端摘幾朵花。蕓責備說：“你摘這么多花做什么？既沒想養在瓶里，也不想簪戴發間?！薄鞍パ剑∧怯惺裁捶梁δ兀炕ㄓ植恢劳窗W?！薄昂冒?，”我說，“總有一天你要被罰嫁一位麻面多須的郎君，替這些花泄憤?！蓖醵门靠粗遥瑢⒒〝S于地上，并用腳踢進湖里。“為何你們都欺負我？”她說。蕓上前好言勸解，這才平靜下來。

蕓初時緘默少語，喜歡聽我品長論短，我逐步教她說話的技巧，如同以草葉逗引蟋蟀一般。她漸漸也就會說了。例如，每日吃飯時，她必以茶泡之，且喜歡吃芥鹵腐乳，蘇州人稱“臭豆腐”。她喜歡吃的另一樣東西是蝦鹵瓜。這兩樣我都很厭惡。一日我開玩笑對她說：“狗無胃而吃人之糟粕，因它們不識其臭；蜣螂團糞而化蟬，因為想飛上天堂。你是狗呢，還是蜣螂呢？”蕓對答說：“人吃腐乳，因為其價廉，可以就米飯也可以就粥。我自小吃它已經習慣了。如今我嫁到你家，我仍舊吃它，因為人不應該忘記老朋友。至于說蝦鹵瓜，倒是在你家才第一次嘗到呢?！?/p>

“哦，那我家即是狗窩是不是？”蕓窘然辯解道：“當然，每家皆有糟粕；區別只在乎吃與不吃。比如，你自己吃大蒜，我也試著與你一起吃。我不會強迫你吃臭豆腐，但鹵瓜真的很美味，假如你吃的時候不去聞它。你親自嘗一嘗便會知道。就像古時的無鹽女，雖貌丑然而德美?！薄澳闶且獙⑽艺{教成狗嗎？”我問道。“好吧，我做狗已經很久了，你何不試一試呢？”說著便用筷子夾起一片鹵瓜強塞入我口中。我屏住呼吸咀嚼，發現的確很美味。然后我如平常一般吃起來，竟覺其滋味妙不可言。自那以后我也愛上了吃蝦鹵瓜。蕓還將腐乳拌以芝麻油和白糖，我發現也很鮮美。后來我們把鹵瓜與腐乳混在一起，并稱之為“雙鮮醬”。我說我不明白為何我當初厭惡，現在卻如此喜歡。蕓說：“假如你愛上一樣東西，自會忘記它的丑陋?！?/p>

我弟弟啟堂的妻子是王虛舟先生的孫女。婚禮那天她要戴珍珠結果沒有。蕓拿出了自己的珠花，她做新娘時所受的彩禮，一并交給我母親。女仆覺得可惜，但蕓說：“女性屬純陰之身，而珍珠亦然。再以珍珠為首飾，則陽氣全克，無處容納矣。因此我并不以為貴。”然而，她對舊書殘畫卻有種特殊的喜好。只要看見零散殘缺的書籍，便盡力分門別類，細加整理，重新匯訂成冊，并收在一起統名為“斷簡殘編”。若見書法或繪畫卷軸有破損，她便找來一些舊紙糊好，并要我把缺損處填補完整，再卷起來放好，名之為“棄余集賞”。這便是她于女紅或茶飯之余所終日忙碌之事。每當她于破笥爛卷中尋得片紙書畫之類就非常高興，好似發現了什么珍貴的遺跡。我家以前的鄰居，一位姓馮的老婦人，每收來舊書殘卷就來賣給她。她的品位習性與我一致，且善于察眼神，懂眉語，諸事無須言傳即做得完美妥帖。

一次我對她說：“可惜你是女兒身。如若是個男子，我們可相與出行，訪名山，覽勝跡，遨游天下?！?/p>

蕓說：“哎，這有何難，待我鬢發斑白時，雖不能陪你至三山五岳，近處的虎丘、靈巖這些地方，更南至西湖，北到平山（在揚州），都可以一起游覽啊?！?/p>

“這當然好，只怕等你鬢斑之時，你也就老得走不動了。”

“若今世不能如愿，那我來世再走?！?/p>

“來世你當作男兒，而我要從你為婦?！?/p>

“那就太美了，若那時我們還記得今世所發生的事情?！?/p>

“那好是很好，但一碗粥尚且提供如此多談資，若那時我們仍記得今世之事，新婚之夜光談論我們前世所經歷者便整夜不能合眼了?！?/p>

“據說月下老人掌管著人間的婚姻，”蕓說，“他好心讓我們今生結為夫婦，我倆來世的姻緣還要仰賴他的恩惠。我們何不畫一幅像掛在家中祭拜他？”

苕溪（今浙江）人戚柳堤先生擅畫人像，于是我們請他畫了一幅月老圖。圖上的月下老人一手挽紅絲線（為了把所有夫婦的心系在一起），一手拄一根拐杖，上掛著姻緣簿，鶴發而童顏，奔忙于云天霧地之間。這一幅說來也是戚先生的得意之作。我朋友石琢堂在上面題了幾句贊語，我們把畫掛在房中，每逢初一、十五，我二人便一起焚香拜禱。如今我不知畫在何處，因家事多有變遷，已經遺失了。正如詩中所說，“他生未卜此生休”。不知上天是否真聽從我們兩個癡情人的祈愿。

遷至倉米巷后，我將我們的臥室題名為“賓香閣”，取自蕓的名字和梁鴻孟光夫婦相敬如賓的典故。我們不大喜歡這個房子，墻太高，庭院又太小，后面還有一幢廂樓，通向藏書處。從后窗向外望去，可見陸氏廢園，然已破敗不堪，蕓的心思仍流連于滄浪亭的美景。

當時有位老婦人住在金母橋之東，埂巷之北。她家的小屋四周都是菜地，有一扇枝條編的籬笆門。門外有水池約一畝大小，籬邊有大片的花木掩映其間。此地是元末張士誠王府的舊址。屋舍西面幾步遠處，瓦礫堆成了土山，登頂遠眺四周景色，但見一片草木蔥蘢的曠野。

有一次，老婦人偶然提到那個地方，蕓便一直神往著。某日蕓對我說：“自打離開滄浪亭，我老是夢見它。既然不能住在那兒，我們就得將就稍次一點的。我有個好主意，我們搬去老婦人那里住吧？”我說：“我也正想有個地方去消度這暑天長晝呢。要是你喜歡，我且先去看一看。如果合意，我們就可帶寢具過去，在那兒逗留一個月，如何？”“只怕母親不答應。”“噢，這事我來請示?！蔽覍λf。于是第二天，我來到老婦人家，發現房屋只有兩間，分隔成四部分。有紙窗竹榻，住在里面應該非常涼爽。老婦人曉得我的心意，欣然將她的臥室出租給我。把屋子四壁糊上白紙，一下子大為改觀。然后我將此事稟告過母親，便攜蕓一起住過去。

我們的鄰居只有一對老夫婦，二人種菜賣菜為生。得知我們要在此避暑，便帶著池塘里釣的魚和他們自家地里的蔬菜過來拜訪我們。我們要付錢，他們執意不收，后來蕓為他們每人做了一雙鞋，最后才說服他們收下。

此時正當七月，樹下濃蔭覆蓋，夏日的微風吹過池塘的水面，空氣中蟬鳴聲不絕于耳。鄰老也為我們做了一根魚竿，我和蕓常一起在柳蔭下釣魚。黃昏時，我們便登上土山看一看晚霞，隨意寫幾行詩。最佳兩句為：

“獸云吞落日，弓月彈流星?！?/p>

少頃，月亮映于水中，而蟲聲四起，我們在籬邊放一張竹榻。老婦人告知我們酒已溫好、茶飯已備，我們便坐下來，在飯前對月小酌幾杯。沐浴罷，我們換上涼鞋，手執蕉扇，或坐或臥，聽鄰居講因果報應的傳說。大約午夜時分回屋睡覺，只覺通體清涼，幾乎忘了自己居住于城市之中。

我們請鄰老沿籬笆種了許多菊花。九月花開后，我和蕓在那里又住了十日。我母親也欣然過來觀賞。我們在菊花間吃著螃蟹，一起消磨了一整天。

蕓很癡心于這一切，對我說：“幾時我們也在這里蓋幾間屋舍，屋舍周圍買十畝地，請仆人在地里種上蔬菜瓜果，以供日常三餐用度。你作畫我刺繡，足以備詩酒會友之需。如此，穿簡樸衣著，吃簡單餐飯，便可相與快樂終身，不用去任何地方了。”我深以為然。如今那地方還在，而我的知己卻已經亡故了?？蓢@生事難料?。?/p>

離我家半里地左右，有洞庭君祠，俗稱水仙廟，地點在醋庫巷。祠中回廊曲折，可說是一個帶涼亭的花園。神誕日這一天，各宗族分得廟里的一個角落，大家都掛上一式漂亮的玻璃燈，中間設一張座椅，兩邊木幾上擺放花瓶。瓶內插花，以較勝負。白天時會有戲劇表演，到了夜間，花瓶被蠟燭映照得光燦絢麗，俗稱為“花照”。花光燈影，暗香浮動，整個景象就好似龍宮的夜宴。人們或放歌奏樂，或品茶閑聊。觀賞者群集而立觀看表演，路邊設欄桿為限。

我被朋友邀去幫忙布置，因而有幸參與其中?；丶液蟾|講述時，蕓說：“可惜我不是男子，不能前去觀看?！薄霸趺床荒?？你可以戴我的帽子，穿我的衣服，假扮成一個男人?！蔽医ㄗh道。于是她將發髻梳成辮子，描粗了眉毛，并戴上我的帽子。盡管兩鬢間微露出少許頭發，但尚可掩飾。因為我的袍子她穿起來長出一寸半，她便在腰間折縫了一圈，外面加一件馬褂?！翱晌业哪_怎么辦呢？”蕓問道。我告訴她有一種叫“蝴蝶履”的鞋子，大小腳都能穿，店里很容易買到，建議她買一雙，以后也可在家當拖鞋穿。蕓對此很是欣然，晚飯后，她裝扮完畢，便模仿男人的手勢步態，在房間踱來踱去好一陣，突然變卦說：“我不去了！要是被人發現多別扭呀，而且父母也會反對！”我仍舊勸她去。“在廟里誰不認識我呀，”我說，“就算他們看出來了，也會一笑置之。母親現正在九妹家中。我們可悄悄去悄悄回，不讓任何人知道?！?/p>

If I can't do it in this life, then I shall do it in the next.

若今世不能如愿，那我來世再走。

蕓于是攬鏡自顧，覺得甚是好玩，狂笑不已。我拽著她一徑溜出來到了廟里，逛了好一陣也沒人發覺。有人問起時，我只說是我的表弟，他們便拱手作揖而去。最后我們來到一個地方，有幾名年輕婦人和女孩坐在花展座椅后面。她們是此處展覽管事者的家眷，管事者姓楊。蕓突然走過去跟她們攀談，說話間，她無意中側身，碰著一個年輕女子的肩膀。一旁的婢女憤然叫道：“哪里來的流氓，這般狂妄！”我試圖解釋以息事寧人，但那女仆仍舊對我們怒目而視。見形勢不妙，蕓摘下帽子，并把她的腳露出來對她說：“你看，我也是女的！”她們吃驚地互相看著，便不再生氣，開始笑起來。然后我們被邀請坐下來喝茶，不久便喚來轎子回家了。

吳江錢師竹病故，我父親寫信來，讓我前去吊唁。蕓私下表示她愿跟我一起去，因為到吳江路上要經過太湖，她非常想去看看，我跟她說我正想著獨自出門甚是寂寞，若她能同行，固然極好，只是我想不出找什么托詞。

“噢，我就說我要回娘家，”蕓說，“你可先去，我隨后即來與你會合?！薄斑@樣的話，回來路上我們可將船停在萬年橋下，在那里與你一同賞月，重溫滄浪舊事。”

當時是六月十八日。這一天，我帶了一名仆人先到胥江渡口，在船上等候她來。未過多時，蕓乘轎而至，于是出發，過虎嘯橋，視野漸變得開闊，但見帆影憧憧，沙鳥旋飛于湖面，而白水茫茫，遠接天際。“這就是太湖啊，”蕓驚叫道，“我今日得知天地之大，也算不枉此生了！想來有多少女子終其一生未見過如此光景??！”閑聊沒多久，看見岸上楊柳搖曳，知道我們已到了吳江。

我登岸去拜奠，等我回來時，蕓卻不在船上。問船夫，他說：“你沒見橋邊柳樹下觀看魚鷹捕魚的人嗎？”那時，蕓已與船家的女兒上了岸。我到她身后時，見她全身粉汗盈盈，仍倚靠船家女站著，全神貫注于觀看魚鷹。我拍拍她的肩膀說：“你都濕透啦！”蕓轉過頭說：“我擔心你錢家的朋友或許來船上，所以離船避一避。怎么你回來得這么早？”“我回來抓捕逃犯??！”我答道。

于是二人相挽登舟，返程時?？吭谌f年橋下。此時太陽還沒下去。我們放下所有窗戶，讓河上的清風進來，在那里，二人身著羅衫，手執紈扇，又切了一只西瓜解暑。少頃，晚霞傾瀉一片紅色在橋上，遠處的霧靄籠罩黃昏的柳樹。此時銀月初上，而漁火滿江矣！我叫了仆人去船尾與船家共飲。

全然與世隔絕，以修得內心真正的安寧。

Completely shut out from the world, in order to achieve true peace of mind.

船家的女兒名叫素云，是個可愛的姑娘，先前就已認識。我喚她過來與蕓坐在一處，船頭沒有掌燈，以便更好地享受月光。我們坐在那里暢飲，以射覆為令，輸者罰酒。素云只是看著我們，聆聽良久后說：“我對各種酒令頗為熟悉，卻從未聽說這一種。你為我講講可好？”蕓試以各種類比向她說明，她仍是茫然不解。

我于是笑道：“這位女先生請稍停片刻如何？我有一個比喻來解釋，她即刻就會明白。”“那你說說看？”我說：“鶴善舞而不能耕，牛善耕而不能舞。此物性使然。你費力傳授她不可能的事情，是在愚弄你自己?！彼卦崎_玩笑地連捶我的肩膀說：“你在罵我是牛是不是？”然后蕓說：“從現在起我們立一條規矩：只許動口，不許動手！違者罰飲一大杯?！币蛩卦凭屏亢茫愕節M一大杯一飲而盡?！拔姨嶙h，可準許動手撫摸，但不準捶人?！蔽艺f。蕓笑著將素云推入我懷中說：“現在你可以任意摸索了?！薄斑@你就蠢了不是，”我笑著回答說，“摸索的妙處只在乎有意無意之間。只有鄉巴佬才會粗魯地抱著摸一個女子?！蔽伊粢獾剿祟^發間所簪的茉莉散發出一種奇異的香味，混雜著酒氣、脂粉和頭油的味道，便對蕓說：“滿處都是‘小人’的臭味，讓人作嘔啊！”聽我這樣說，素云用拳頭連連捶打我說：“誰叫你聞它呢！”

“她犯了規矩！罰兩大杯！”蕓叫道。

“他叫我‘小人’，我不應該打他嗎？”素云抗議道。

“他所說‘小人’的意思，其實你不明白。先干了這兩杯，我就告訴你?！笔|說。

素云飲完兩大杯后，蕓便跟她講起我們在滄浪亭談論茉莉的舊事。

“那么是我錯怪了，當再受罰?！彼卦普f，接著又喝完第三杯。

蕓說起她久聞素云善歌之名，想聽她唱一曲。這事素云自是拿手，她用象牙筷子在一只小碟上敲打節拍而歌。蕓欣然暢飲，酩酊而醉，便乘了轎子先回家，而我繼續與素云閑聊片刻，然后乘月步行而歸。

當時我們住在友人魯半舫家的蕭爽樓里。幾日之后，魯夫人從什么人口中聽說了那件事，便悄悄告訴蕓說：“你是否知道你丈夫數日前在萬年橋偕兩名歌伎飲酒之事？”“是啊，我知道，”蕓回答說，“其中之一便是我自己?！比缓蟊銓⒃谔瓮嬷略斦f給她聽，魯夫人大笑自嘲作罷。

假如你愛上一樣東西，自會忘記它的丑陋。

If you are in love with a thing, you will forget its ugliness.

乾隆甲寅（1794年）七月，我自粵東歸來，同行者徐秀峰，我的一個表妹夫，帶了一名妾回家。他很癡迷于她的美貌，叫了蕓去觀看。蕓見過之后，某日對徐秀峰說：“美則美矣，卻沒什么韻味。”“你的意思是說你丈夫納妾時，須得既美貌又有韻味的女子？”徐秀峰回問。蕓答說那是自然。從那以后，蕓便一心為我物色妾室，卻短于錢財。

當時有個浙江歌伎名叫溫冷香，寓居蘇州。她寫的四首柳絮詩全城都在談論，學人們紛紛酬唱應和——按她原來的韻字，原來的形式。我吳江的朋友張閑憨，也是冷香的好友，將她的詩拿來給我看，讓我們也和詩作答。蕓對她不大賞識，因此不感興趣。但我很是技癢，便構思了一首，寫五月里滿天飛舞的柳絮。其中有兩行蕓非常喜歡：“觸我春愁偏婉轉，撩他離緒更纏綿?！?/p>

第二年八月五日這天，我母親要攜蕓一起去游虎丘，張閑憨突然過來。他對我說：“我也要去虎丘。你要不要隨我一道去見一個漂亮的歌伎？”我讓我母親先行，說好在虎丘附近的半塘會合。我朋友便拉著我到冷香的寓所。我看見冷香已經是中年，但她有個女兒名叫憨園，是個很甜美的小姑娘，還不到二十。她的眼睛看起來正像是“一泓秋水照人寒”。我跟她聊了聊，知道她頗懂文墨。她還有個妹妹，名字叫文園，年紀尚幼。

人終有一死。我唯一遺憾的是，

我們不得不中途永別，

我不能繼續做你的妻子陪你到最后。

我那時尚無結交歌伎之想，全因我知道，作為一介寒士，我負擔不起參加這類宴飲的資費。但既然已經來了，我也想盡我所能勉強應付。

“你是想引誘我嗎？”我悄悄對閑憨說。

Every one has to die once.

My only regret is,

we have to part half-way from each

other for ever,

and I am not able to be your wife until the end of your days.

“不是，”他回答說，“今日有人邀我到憨園處吃飯以答謝我。碰巧請客的人自己又被一位尊客拉去，我這是代他請客。請不要有什么顧慮！”

我于是釋然。到了半塘，遇上我母親的船。我請憨園過去見過我母親。蕓與憨園相見時，交談甚是自然，如同舊識，及至后來攜手登山，遍覽名跡。蕓尤其喜歡“千頃云”處的高曠，在那里逗留許久，嘆賞不已。返回到“野芳濱”，我們將兩船系好，一同暢飲，相與甚歡。

要解船回家時，蕓對我說：“你可否去那條船陪你的朋友，留我和憨園在這條船上？”我便依她的意思過去。直至過都亭橋，我才又回到我自己的船上，于此處跟朋友及憨園分別，回家時已是半夜。

“現今我找到既美貌又有韻味的女子了，”蕓對我說，“我已請憨園明日過來見我們，我會為你籌劃安排。”我吃了一驚。

“你明知我們非富貴之家，哪里養得起那樣的女子，更何況我二人婚姻幸福圓滿，你何必要尋別的人來呢？”

“可是我喜愛她，”蕓笑著說，“你就等著吧。”

第二天下午，憨園果然來了。蕓對她很是殷勤，準備了一桌筵席，我們玩射覆猜拳喝酒，但整個席上，沒提一句為我促成的話。憨園走后，蕓說：“我悄悄與她約好十八日再過來，到時我們要結為姐妹，你可要準備牲牢以待。”她指著她腕上的翡翠玉鐲，繼續說：“你若看見這鐲子戴在憨園手上，便知道她同意了。我已經將此意暗示于她，但我們尚未能如我所愿徹底了解彼此?！蔽抑坏糜芍プ觥?/p>

十八日，憨園冒大雨而至。進臥室許久之后，她和蕓挽著手出來，看見我時，顯得有點害羞，因為鐲子已戴在她的手腕。那日燒香起誓之后，蕓想再與她一同飲酒。但憨園正好有約要去石湖，便很快離去。

蕓笑容滿面地過來對我說：“即今麗人已為你找到，你要怎么報答我這媒人呢？”我便詢問她詳情。

她說：“我只能婉轉跟她提起，因我怕她的心另有所屬。現在知道并沒有別人，我問她：‘你可知我們今日誓約是何意？’她回答說：‘如我能來到您家里我應感榮幸之至，但我的母親對我期望甚高，我自己做不得主。我們且看著辦吧?！o她戴鐲子時，我又跟她說：‘玉取其堅硬以為忠貞，而鐲子的圓形乃忠誠長久之意?，F在請戴上它，作為我們誓約的信物?！卮鹫f全憑我做決定?？磥硭约菏窃敢獾?。唯一難的是她的母親冷香。我們且看看如何轉圜?！?/p>

“你是要在我們家中上演李笠翁的《憐香伴》嗎？”

“正是！”蕓回答說。

從那以后，蕓便沒有一日不提到憨園的名字。最終憨園被強嫁給一個有勢力的人，我們的安排便落了空。蕓實際上也因了這事而死去。