Waiting for the Breeze

馬蒂·阿通 / Marti Attoun

“No air conditioning？ How can you sleep？” a friend asks， horrified. I’ve just revealed that my family has decided to shut the air conditioner off and trim our electric bill.

“Nobody opens a window， day or night，” warns another friend， whose windows have been painted shut for a decade. “This is the 90s. It’s not safe.”

On this first night of our cost-cutting adventure， it’s only 85 degrees. We’re not going to suffer， but the three kids grumble anyway. They’ve grown up in 72-degree comfort， insulated from the world outside.

“How do you open these windows？” my husband asks. Jiggling the metal tabs， he finally releases one. A potpourri of bug bodies decorates the sills. As we spring the windows one by one， the night noises howl outside—and in.

“It’s too hot to sleep，” my 13-year-old daughter moans.

“I’m about to die from this heat，” her brother hollers down the hall.

“Just try it tonight，” I tell them.

In truth I’m too tired to argue for long. I’m exhausted after attending Grandma’s estate auction. I toted home her oval tin bathtub and the chair I once stood on like a big shot behind the counter of her store.

My face is sweaty， but I lie quietly listening to the cricket choirs outside that remind me of childhood. The neighbor’s dog howls. Probably a trespassing squirrel. It’s been years since I’ve taken the time to really listen to the night.

I think about Grandma， who lived to 92 and still supervised Mom’s gardening until just a few weeks before she died. And then， I’m back there at her house in the summer heat of my childhood. I move my pillow to the foot of Grandma’s bed and angle my face toward the open window. I flip the pillow， hunting for the cooler side.

Grandma sees me thrashing. “If you’ll just watch for the breeze，” she says， “you’ll cool off and fall asleep.”

She cranks up the Venetian blinds. I stare at the filmy white curtain， willing it to flutter. Lying still， waiting， I suddenly， notice the life outside the window. The bug chorus shouts “Ajooga！ Ajooga！” Neighbors， porch-sitting late， speak in hazy words that soothe me.

“Keep watching for the breeze，” Grandma says softly， and I “uhhuh” in reply. June bugs ping the screen. Three blocks away the Friso train rumbles across Roosevelt Avenue. I catch the scent of fresh grass chippings. Then I hear something I can’t decode—perhaps a tree branch raking the asphalt shingles on the store roof next door.

Sleepy-eyed now， I focus on the curtain. It flutter...

“Mom， did you hear that？” my seven-year-old blurts， “I think it was an owl family.”

“Probably，” I tell him， “Just keep listening...”

Without the droning air conditioner， the house is oddly peaceful， and the unfiltered night noises seem close enough to touch.

I hope I’m awake tonight when the first breeze sneaks in.

“不開空調？你們怎么睡得著啊？”一個朋友問道，顯然有些驚異。我剛剛透露，我們全家決定關掉空調，以降低電費開支。

“不管是白天還是晚上，都沒有人會開窗的。”另一個朋友提醒道，她家的窗戶刷過漆后，關閉十多年了。“現在是90年代了，不安全。”

開始節電計劃的第一天晚上，只有華氏85度的氣溫，尚沒熱到讓人無法忍受，可三個孩子還是嘟囔起來，他們向來與外面酷熱的世界相隔離，在華氏72度的舒適溫度下長大。

“你怎么不把窗戶打開啊？”丈夫問道，他輕微地晃動著金屬插銷，終于，一扇窗松動了。各種各樣的蟲子的尸體裝點著窗臺。當我們把窗戶一扇又一扇地打開時，家里很快充斥了外面夜晚的喧囂。

“睡不著，太熱了。”13歲的女兒抱怨道。

“我簡直快熱死了。”她哥哥走下客廳，大發牢騷。

“今晚只是試試。”我告訴他們。

事實上，我太累了，根本不想多說。參加完奶奶的財產拍賣會，我已經疲憊不堪了。她那口橢圓的錫制浴缸，還有那把椅子——我曾踩在上面，有模有樣地站在她商店的柜臺后面，現在都被我拉回了家。

我臉上汗水涔涔，可我還是靜靜地躺著，窗外蟋蟀們的鳴唱聲越來越大，不禁讓我回憶起了童年。鄰居家的狗大聲叫起來了，也許是過來了一只亂竄的小松鼠。多年來，我都沒有時間真正聆聽夜的靜籟。

我想起了活到92歲的外婆，她一直照看著我媽媽的花園，直到去世前的幾個星期。于是，我恍惚又回到了童年的炎炎夏日，我住在她的房子里。我把枕頭移到外婆的床尾，轉過臉來，面向開著的窗戶，再把枕頭翻過來，捕捉每一絲涼意。

外婆見我翻來覆去，說道：“如果你只是等待清風，很快就會涼爽下來睡著的。”

她把百葉窗簾卷起來，我盯著白色窗簾，希望它能擺動起來。這樣靜靜地躺著，等著，我忽然察覺到了窗外的世界。小蟲子們齊聲唱著“啾嘎！啾嘎！”很晚了，鄰居們還坐在門廊下聊天，隱隱約約的話語聲使我平靜下來。

“繼續等待清風。”外婆輕聲說道，我輕聲應著。六月的蟲子撞到紗窗上，發出咻咻的聲音。三個街區開外，一列開往弗里索的火車正隆隆駛過羅斯福大道。我聞到了一陣清新的青草味，還聽到了一些奇怪的聲響——也許是隔壁小商店的瀝青木瓦屋頂上，樹枝輕輕掠過時發出的沙沙聲。

現在，我昏昏欲睡了，我盯著窗簾，它擺動起來了……

“媽媽，那個聲音你聽見了嗎？”我七歲的兒子突然說道，“我想是貓頭鷹一家。”

“可能吧，”我告訴他，“只要繼續聽……”

沒有空調沉悶的嗡嗡聲，屋子格外寧靜，夜籟之音未經過濾，似乎近在咫尺，觸手可及。

今晚，當第一縷清風悄悄潛入時，但愿我還未入眠。

記憶填空

1. We’re not going to ， but the three kids grumble . They’ve grown up in 72-degree comfort， insulated from the world .

2. In truth I’m too tired to argue for . I’m exhausted after attending Grandma’s estate auction. I toted home her oval tin bathtub and the chair I once stood on a big shot behind the counter of her .

3. Without the droning conditioner， the house is oddly peaceful， and the unfiltered night noises close enough to touch.

1. 當我們把窗戶一扇又一扇地打開時，家里很快充斥了外面夜晚的喧囂。

2. 多年來，我都沒有時間真正聆聽夜的靜籟。

3. 今晚，當第一縷清風悄悄潛入時，但愿我還未入眠。

1. I’ve just revealed that my family has decided to shut the air conditioner off and trim our electric bill.

shut off：關掉；切斷

2. Sleepy-eyed now， I focus on the curtain.

focus on：關注；集中于